Effin' cats! In the moonlight!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

So I'm lounging on the couch watching teevee and checking in on DU, and all of a sudden the lights go out. Everything but the computer; it's as dark as a pocket in the house. I fumble around for my keys and cell phone (can't find a flashlight, of course; and if I'd found one the batteries would've been dead anyhow), and open the front door to see if other lights are out in the neighborhood, which they are. So while I'm talking to my next-door neighbor about calling farkin' Xcel Energy, I notice that my dumbass cat, Milo, has managed to slip out. He's an indoor cat, but he's always trying to make a break for it.

When I turn around to herd him back inside, the little shit runs away and scoots under the porch. He slinks out the other side and dashes into the back yard. Since the power has gone out, there are no porch or street lights. There's just the damn harvest moon, which is better than nothing. And the cat disappears.

So for the next hour, I'm wandering around the neighborhood and through the shrubbery in my jammies, hollering "Kittykittykitty! Kittykittykitty!" Nothing. Finally the power comes back on and I've got street lights, but I can't find the cat. The little wanker is hiding.

"Kittykittykitty!"

Nothing.

Then a neighbor hollers from a couple houses away, "Are you looking for a cat?" (Ya think?)

She says there's this big orange and white cat in her back yard; I go over there and I see him under a buch (where he's been arguing with some other cat, who scurries away); and now I have to catch him. He is not cooperating. Eventually, with the help of the neighbor, I corner him and get him in a kind of hammerlock and lug him back home. He has burrs in his fur and I have burrs all over my jammies and I'm hoarse from yelling. I will be picking burrs off me and the cat for the rest of the evening.

I hate cats.

[qnr]

1. Did your neighbors like your jammies?

Maybe leave a couple of burrs in particularly sensitive area so he thinks twice the next time?