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Z for Zachariah: The Song To the tune of “Miss American Pie”
A short, short time from now In a valley plowed with hay A nuclear war was quickly done And one who lived, her name was Ann Survived, although not by her plan She had her vegetables and a gun And then one day, she saw a guy Called Mr. Loomis, he didn’t fry In the big, evil war With science talk he did bore He had lived inside a cave And his super suit did him save This book so far is not my fave Can I read another?
Oh why, why did she have to survive? There is no plot I wish they’d blot out the words while they dive I really do not wanna finish this book Maybe I can hide it here in this nook I can hide it here in this nook
He bathes in toxic water Which, although it makes him say “Brr” Gives him a deadly disease Oh well she tries to let him live And lots of effort he does give And back comes a stupid dog who has fleas He’s sick for many chapters Well, I prefer the cool raptors Oh yeah, this is boring stuff I believe I’ve had enough! For the best book of 2002 If this thing wins then I’ll be blue Read it again, not I do Give me a different book!
I started singing… Why, why did she have to survive? There is no plot I wish they’d blot out the words while they dive I really do not wanna finish this book Maybe I can hide it here in this nook I can hide it here in this nook
Well, eventually he’s better And, right then, he tries to kill her And he fails, very sadly She just runs right off into a cave To herself from Mr. Loomis save And lives, unfortunately He then tries to break her legs This dumb sequence takes forty megs Of computer memory She still is forced to flee Oh, I really really hate this tale I wish it’d blow away on a gale Or be blown up by arms that flail I want another book
I’m still singing … Why, why did she have to survive? There is no plot I wish they’d blot out the words while they dive I really do not wanna finish this book Maybe I can hide it here in this nook I can hide it here in this nook
Finally, at the very end She wanders off around the bend With the super-duper suit She is most likely gonna die And that me does satisfy But still it is a book that I want to boot She steals the suit from Loomis And near I know that doom is Now done with this dumb thing It’s one more book to fling Good bye, evil book that I hate I’ll see you at the Pearly Gates Your low selling is due to Fate Good bye, you stupid book
Yes, I’m still singing… Why, why did she have to survive? There is no plot I wish they’d blot out the words while they dive I really do not wanna finish this book Maybe I can hide it here in this nook I can hide it here in this nook
Why am I singing … Why, why did she have to survive? There is no plot I wish they’d blot out the words while they dive I really do not wanna finish this book Maybe I can hide it here in this nook
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