Have you never been in love?

[StrongBad]

I'm kinda getting down on the fact that I think I've never been in love before. I mean, I'm relatively young (24) and know I have loads of time to explore relationships, but, having had several close intimate relationships before in my life, though I thought I was in love in said relationships, I never have felt an overwhelming intense need to be with someone or have felt a deep bond with them.

I am beginning to worry if I'm just not cut out for deep and intense relationships because of an inability to let myself feel close to someone...or could it be that I just haven't met the right one.

Now I'm just rambling, but any thoughts?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. Letting yourself feel close to someone is risky business.

You're setting yourself up to be hurt horribly.
You're also setting yourself up for one of the most rewarding experiences life can offer.
Even the pain of rejection or of breaking up can be wonderful...It serves to generate compassion which you can't truly feel without having the experience.

:hug:

[StrongBad]

10. No doubt it's a risk

I've never been deeply hurt either...which is kind of why I'm afraid of first experiencing that as well...

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Yep, I am now

more than ever before...more every day...But, I didn't find this love until I was 28...Give it time, open yourself...You'll get there :hug:

[StrongBad]

11. Thanks for sharing your experience

I'm curious though...you say you're truly in love now. Looking back towards past relationships where you previously thought you were "in love", can you now say definitively that it really wasn't love at all??

[bicentennial_baby]

15. Yeah

Lots of codependence and emotional baggage crap....I didn't realize what love *truly* is until this relationship :)

[RetroLounge]

3. Love is a double sided blade...

Cuts you once on the way in, and again on the way out...

Either way, you bleed.

Feel lucky.

RL

[Deja Q]

4. You've not found the right one...

I'm 34 and made a few mistakes as well when in intimate 'relationships' (2), thinking they were something they were not.

Some people just aren't cut out for the concept. :( At this point, I'm positive I'm one of them.

I wonder if that's what bug chasers think...

[idgiehkt]

5. you just haven't met the right one

and there's probably a lot of right ones.

I fell in love with the wrong one a while back and that sucks too. It's worse than being single, I think. It'll happen...just be patient.

[LeftyMom]

6. I have and I am.

The only hint I can share is this: when you meet the right person, it won't be work, you won't be wondering if this is what love is, you'll just know. If you're not sure, it's not it.

That you don't have an overwhelming drive to complete yourself with a relationship is a good sign. You need to be whole on your own first.

[StrongBad]

12. Thank you very much for the wisdom!

n/t

[Guava Jelly]

7. Yes

:)

[u4ic]

8. I didn't truly fall in love

till I was 32.

I don't think it can be determined if you have an serious problems from a couple of paragraphs.

However, you and you alone are the one that can determine if the issue is trust, or that you are just very comfortable in your own company.

In order to have a successful relationship, you need to know yourself, to feel comfortable within your own skin; to know your strengths and weaknesses, to know your boundaries, your interests...what you will and won't put up with. This is a great time to be looking at those things. (experience will also play a part, no two ways about that!)

We don't know what lies ahead - enjoy your life, single or not! :-)

[Floogeldy]

9. Are you kidding?

I was in love by age 4.

:)

P.S. Her name was Nancy.

[cobalt1999]

17. I guess I was a late bloomer compared to you.

I waited until the 5th grade. :)

Lisa, if you're out there, I STILL love you baby!

[Fox Mulder]

13. I'm also 24 and never been in love.

I don't worry about it. If it'll come, it'll come.

If it won't, then oh well. :shrug:

[martymar64]

14. I have, several times

The first was the hardest. when that one ended , it took me awhile to recover.
I'm not in love now but it would be nice.
My suggestion is to be happy with yourself and others will follow.

[Road Scholar]

16. I've been in lust a few times. Does that count? LOL

:toast: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[ThomCat]

18. I've been head-over-heals in love two times

and both times it ended up hurting like hell because they were only in it for casual relationships.

I've been in relationships where I had affection, but I wasn't really in love. I think I prefer them this way. A more subdued love comes out of long term affection.