If you were God, and could do anything....

[YellowRubberDuckie]

What would you do?
And I'm not looking for easy stuff, like world peace and get rid of the current administration in a hurricane. I'm serious. Give me a battle plan.
Me? I'd make everyone equal in this country, except for the uber rich. They'd be the ones working in fast food restaurants. I'd let people be happy, and not have to work their asses off to keep a roof over their head and the power on. They'd be provided. As well as Health care. I'd make mass transit a requirement everywhere and cars in any big city would be expensive. And when I say expensive, I mean more so than even NYC.
Then I'd fix global warming and the weather. And then Oklahoma would have seasons. And I don't mean all four seasons in one week. I mean 3 month cycles.
Your turn.
Duckie

[Mutley]

1. Just send everyone back to the Garden.

Seems the easiest solution to me.

[Book Lover]

2. I would alter the path of any asteriods that might smash up Earth

I'd do something about fixing up the atmosphere.

I'd make a plant that grows anywhere really quickly and can feed dozens of people.

And I'd figure out a way to make people fly. You know, with wings. None of this metal fuselage in the air crap.

[Arkham House]

3. I'd start with more basic stuff...

...Change the speed of light--186,000 miles per second is just too slow. Make it 5,000,000,000,000 miles per second, and we could have some serious interstellar travel. Then I'd make it so that time travel was possible, and we could go look at history without any annoying paradoxes. Maybe then I'd deal with this whole business of alien life--if it didn't exist before, I'd quietly create a few species and plant "evidence" they had been around for awhile, just so we'd have some real excitement in the scientific community. Then I'd find out exactly where the center of the Universe is, and move Earth there--no more of this heliocentric shit...then I'd make the human life span 500 years. And when people died, they'd get 70 *million* virgins. I mean, shit--eternity is a long time, and 70 virgins would be used up too goddam quickly...

[Guava Jelly]

4. I would make my cat stop shredding the toilet paper roll's

And I would create tree's the grew cheesecake!
Then I would give republicans a heart and an open mind so the world could be a better place!

[YankeyMCC]

5. Tell everyone to Stop

worshiping and waiting for me to fix things and get to work fixing the problems around them.

And make Beer, pulled pork and bbq beans the healthiest meal a human can eat. :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. That's awesome...

I thought of that before I posted...then forgot it. Dang. :evilgrin:

[_testify_]

7. Cause massive climate shifts

Wipe the whole place out and give it to the dolphins to run next.

[cobalt1999]

8. bye, bye humans.

Damn things keep screwing up my planet.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

9. I would sentance everyone who didn't smoke a joint on 4/20 to be

reincarnated as an animal. That would cut down the population enough. Then, while the world healed itself, I would relocate the remaining humans to one continent, so that the world could regrow. As long as the didn't mess with the system too much, they could do pretty much whatever they wanted.

[liontamer]

10. create humans

endow them with intelligence and free will and give them an entire planet capable of fulfilling all their needs. Tell them to enjoy it but take care of it, be kind to each other, and occasionally talk to me, because I get lonely.

[sakabatou]

11. I would go down...

and tell the people what the bible and its contents really mean.

[petronius]

12. Many Shuvs and Zuuls...

...would know what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

[crim son]

13. I would bring my Mikey back.

Then, all the other stuff.

[AlienGirl]

14. Step One: Go back to the beginning of human evolution

Make sure that the human line splits off of the bonobo line rather than the common chimp line. Bonobos solve most of their problems with sex while the common chimps (like humans) solve theirs through aggression. Then I'd watch the evolution and select for non-aggression and solving conflicts with sexual behavior.

Then I'd come back to the present and watch leaders of the world have conflicts and work it out by rubbing each other.

Tucker

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. 'd let people know that I love them even when they're being assholes

Then I'd ask them to please stop acting like assholes.