Is gaydar just using stereotypes.....

[Fountain79]

to define homosexuals? I have a page on myspace.com and I enjoy looking up old class mates. The obvious chuckle comes when I see an old classmates page who lists their orientation as gay/lesbian because I knew it then. Still is it wrong to assume someone is gay based on appearance, mannerism, etc? Gay people help me out here....

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

1. Well, personally I feel my gaydar (at least with women) is honed enough...

that I don't have to rely on stereotypes. I just seem to know, even if they appear to be stereotypically straight. It's rare that I'm confused.

[idgiehkt]

2. this is making me tired just thinking about it.

I think what you are talking about probably happens so fast in your mind you can't control it. So maybe you are asking should you suppress your instinct that someone is gay lest you offend yourself...or something.

I wouldn't worry about it unless you are one to sling slurs around.

[LostinVA]

3. No... I'm gay and have great gaydar

My mom is straight nd has great gaydar. Sometimes it IS stereotypes, sometimes it's "code" words, or a glance... and sometimes, you just KNOW that butch dude with the sexy GF is gay.... and shriek when you find out you were so right.

[bridgit]

4. as i understand it, 'gaydar' transcends stereotypes...

:shrug:

[L A Woman]

5. well how does a stereotype become a stereotype?

part of being gay is being more in touch with the "opposite sex" side of yourself. So in many cases your gaydar will be right! But in some cases it will be wrong. :-)

[everythingsxen]

6. *shrug*

I am hetero, but I have good "gaydar". I don't know if it is just stereotyping either. There are more subtlties that play into it than something as obvious as, say, Scott Thompson's various gay waiters/Buddy Cole characters on Kids in the Hall.

I think it's only wrong to judge someone as being gay based on "gaydar" and then discriminate against them. That's my opinion, for what that's worth. :shrug:

[Richard Steele]

7. I used to think so, but I have changed my mind.

I think there's something to it, something that I just don't "get".

One experience that has leaned me toward this opinion:
(this might be more of a "STRAIGHTdar" story)

My buddy "M" is gay, and he's been "out" since he was 14...
He and I went to one of his fave hangouts one night.
I had never been there before, had never seen anyone in the place.

"m" said hi to the bartender, and asked for a beer.
I said "I'll have one too".
And then the Bartender looked me dead in the eye and said "You sound like a Straight boy".

So, if that guy KNEW I was "straight" within 2 seconds of first seeing me,
then I have to accept the notion that some folks can recognize "gay"
just as quickly.

So I put "Gaydar" in the same category as MAGNETS:
I DON'T understand how it works, I just accept the fact that it is REAL.