All-Encompassing Rant -- Some Good, but Mostly a Rant. (NO S.H. HERE)

[Bertha Venation]

This has been a day. Let me start with that. Some parts have been good, and some have been pretty hard to take.

(First, for you in the know: The Saga of the $358 Triple Latte has not yet reached its conclusion. Suffice to say that AFAIC the Westin Hotel chain now owes me a month at the resort of my choosing. See http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=531951&mesg_id=531951)

The best part of the day was the grocery shopping-in-reverse -- taking stuff to the local food/clothing bank. We were sad that we hadn't brought a toy, but the path into the food center took us through the toy center; that huge room, about half a gym, had three walls stacked about eight feet high with toys. So we didn't feel so bad.

After dropping off the groceries, we stopped for gas. The car in front of mine at the pumps bore a bumper sticker I hadn't seen yet:

I had several choice words for the owner of this vehicle, but I kept them to myself, which is probably why I'm so angry at this moment. I would have loved to walk up to the man, get as close to him as possible, and say quietly, "Sir, I pray to God Almighty that none of your children or grandchildren turns out to be gay."

Then we stopped at the Humane Society to drop off bags of cat food. I wanted to take them in but started crying as I drove up, thinking of all the cats & kittens in the cages waiting for homes. (I'm cursed: sometimes I can't control my empathy.) I knew it would be worse if I went in, so Kathy took the bags.

Driving home, I noticed that our neighbor who usually has 4-6 cars in the driveway/on the lawn now has 9. Nine cars/trucks. In the two-tenths of a mile between their house and ours, I wondered first, "How many cars does one household need?" then "what business is it of mine how many cars they have in their yard?" I'm more irritated by my attitude than I am by the view.

Finally, three Xmas cards came in the mail today. One from an old friend and her husband, addressed to me & Kathy. Another from my uncle & his wife, also addressed to me & Kathy. The third from my father & his wife, addressed only to me.

I accepted this without bitching for the last three Christmases because, even though my dad knew I'd married, he'd never met Kathy. She was an abstract that he refused to accept, even though I moved across the country to be with her. But he and his wife met her last summer, and seemed to like her. (It's impossible not to like Kathy anyway.)

So now that he has met my mate, it is patently unacceptable that he address this card only to me.

I feel like screaming. Between my own sperm donor and the fellow at the gas pumps, I feel like grabbing the lapels of every ignoramus in the country and shouting "I AM married! What rational, logical, plain reason is there for YOUR requiring that one of us have a penis?!"

Maybe later in the thread I'll post what my father wrote me in the first Christmas card I got after I came out, about ten years ago. It wasn't pleasant.

Unfortunately, the only thing I can now say is AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

PS More good: Toby is curled up on the desk, sleeping like a only a warm & happy cat can, three of his paws claiming me by resting heavily on my left forearm.

[KCDem]

1. Sorry about your shitty day, BV

We have multi-carred neighbors as well who park the damn things out in the street all the time, and it drives me batty. Sorry to hear about your dad and his not accepting Kathy. I hope the rest of your Christmas cards include her.

[TEXASYANKEE]

2. Families can be a real downer.

And their dysfunctionality makes the holidays a real test ... and it shouldn't be this way!

[Rainbowreflect]

3. Just remember the most important thing,

you have someone you love who loves you back. No one can take that away from you.
Bless you both for your giving natures.

[liberalhistorian]

4. That's true, a lot of us

heteros don't have that kind of relationship or anything close, and many of us likely never will. I can only envy both of you, lol! And that is, indeed, true, that no one will ever be able to take that away from you no matter how much shit they try to throw your way.

[Bertha Venation]

5. letter to the sperm donor

Hi, Dad.

We've never had much of a relationship, but since I emerged from the growing pains of my 20s, I've wanted you to know how happy I am and what my life is like. I wanted you to know that, having overcome the realities of my early life and having forgiven the players--including you--I have found joy, peace, and happiness. Because I wouldn't be here at all if not for you and my mother, I've wanted you to know about this little life I've been given and am so grateful for. I'm happy to be here.

But how you expect me to divorce my beloved from any conversation or correspondence we might have is a mystery. I received your Christmas card today, signed, as always, "Love, Dad & Nancy." But it was addressed only to me. Why? Please answer this simple question, and answer it honestly.

For the first three Christmases after I moved out here to make my life with Kathy, I said nothing about how you addressed your Christmas cards. You knew why I moved out here--I was no longer single. Married at last--yes, married, at the ripe old age of 36. Yet I let it slide that you didn't include her name on Christmas correspondence.

But last summer, you and Nancy both finally had the chance to meet her. I was thrilled that finally you'd get to meet the mate God made me for. Yes, He did. You finally had the chance put her face to her name. You saw, I hope, what a fine, strong, moral, and loving woman my mate is. You ought to rejoice and thank God that I have this woman to see me through life.

Do you not accept Ross as if he were your son? You don't have to be his best friend; you don't even have to like him. But he is your daughter's husband.

Like it or not, Kathy is a part of our family. She is your daughter-in-law--at least spiritually, if not yet legally. Her name belongs next to mine on Christmas cards, and if you don't intend to include her name with mine in the future Christmas, please don't bother to send Christmas cards at all.

If you want me, Dad, you accept Kathy as if she is your own daughter. This marriage is reality.

[Bertha Venation]

6. KCDem, TxYank, Rainbow, LH, thanks.

:grouphug: