How to handle difficult boss??? Why is it that some people think their

[grannylib]

position entitles them to be rude, condescending, arrogant, etc., but are the FIRST to freak if they think their own asses aren't being kissed to a sufficient degree??

This woman will NOT take any kind of feedback without turning it into an attack: it's not her, it's her position; it's not her, it's her role in the company; it's not her, it's all the other people who are wrong; it's not her, it's YOU...
she is just like a child who runs to tattle on everyone and anyone imaginable, but when anyone gives her negative feedback, no matter how it's phrased, how objective, how constructive, etc., it's turned immediately back toward the person giving it and it becomes all about that person instead.

If it only happened with me, I'd chalk it up to personality conflict and try to ignore it, but it happens with just about EVERYONE, and her boss and her manager seem to have blinders on when it comes to this woman (because she has kissed THEIR asses sufficiently, and her relationship with them is one of subordinate/superiors, and that is one thing she gets REALLY REALLY well. She LOVES rubbing people's noses in the fact that she is their 'superior.')

It's making life hell at work, and I am sending out resumes right and left, but in the meantime...how to handle? I can get along with ANYONE, and we work together just fine in all respects except for this one: she talks down to people and is condescending in tone, and makes people feel like shit with regularity. Otherwise, we get our work done, we are able to converse in a professional and even friendly manner most of the time, and we have skills that tend to compliment each other, so it works out pretty well in most regards.

I'm just tired of it though, and have been trying to defend her to others who complain, because...well, maybe it's Minnesota Nice, and maybe it's a solidly-Lutheran understanding of the 8th Commandment...I dunno.
I am sick of it. I am looking for another job, but doubt I will find one within the same corporation, since I am pretty sure she has badmouthed me to other HR people in our sister companies...so that is not promising.

Any ideas??

Thanks for letting me rant...

[Xipe Totec]

1. Three suggestions

document, document, document.

I know where you're coming from, I'm smack in the middle of it.

The only thing that is saving my arse is that I document EVERYTHING.

They know that if they can my ass, that crap is going to come up in court.

[grannylib]

2. Oh, I am, believe me! I write down EVERYTHING in my planner, then type

it up in a more professional manner so I have it ready if I need it. And I do continue to give her feedback immediately, since I have found that if I DON'T, it may as well never have happened. So yeah, I have files of stuff written up and documented, to the day and the hour...

[Xipe Totec]

3. You don't have to share everything with your boss

in fact, that may be counterproductive.

Just file it away, make a copy and share it with somebody you trust, so they can vouch that the notes were written contemporaneously.

In my case, the more I shared with my boss, the more she flipped out. To the point that she said I was wasting company time documenting unnecessary crap.

So I just document on my own time and file it away.

HR, of course, is aware of it...

[grannylib]

4. That's the problem...we ARE HR! The only two, as a matter of fact...

[Xipe Totec]

5. Doh!

you ARE in a bind!

:scared:

Keep documenting!

[grannylib]

6. I will...and it's a written policy that we are supposed to give direct

feedback before following the fair treatment policy and escalating to the next level...so I really DO have to tell her everything.
Yikes.
Insufferable bitch.

[MoseyWalker]

7. I'm not the best one to offer advice

in this area.

I got fed up on Monday and quit. Immediate resignation. Took me less than 5 minutes to clear out and be gone.

[grannylib]

8. I have been tempted...believe me! But cannot possibly afford to do that,

so looking as hard as I can everywhere for other opportunities.

[Floogeldy]

9. U gotta schmooze 'em.

Ask them about their kids, family. Compliment them. Show them that you care. Tell them how difficult their job is and express to them how well they do their job and handle things. Build 'em up. Smile at 'em and make them smile. They just want to be understood and appreciated. Work on her, real nice like. Be bold about it. Openly defend her in the presence of others. She'll be eatin' out of yer hand in no time. ;-)

[crim son]

10. I'm a firm believer in calculated ass-kissing.

It does the trick. I don't mean being gushy and friendly, I mean being ridiculously respectful and obedient. Nobody knows what to do when you pull that shit. :)

[Floogeldy]

11. Now, now, ya see?

That's what I'm talkin' bout.

U gotta play with them and fuck with their heads. It's kinda like goin' on the offensive, real subtle like. ;)

Welcome to DU, crim son.