Oh, no . . . that poor woman

[bertha katzenengel]

At the Amish Farmer's Market today, I saw a woman whose pants had split all the way up the back, from the inseam to the waist. :( And she was pantiless. :( :( I tapped her on the shoulder and said, "excuse me, ma'am," then leaned to whisper in her ear, "forgive me, but your jeans are split up the back." She pulled her shirt way down and thanked me. Finished her purchase and left in a hurry.

Poor woman. I felt SO bad for her.

Someone did that for me once, at the buffet breakfast at a hotel. I'd dressed hurriedly. This woman in a pink velour sweat suit said, "honey, you might want to do up your fly." I, too, was chonie-less. :blush:

:(

[skygazer]

1. Had this happen when I was working road construction

The only woman on the job, no less. I was wearing panties, at least - little blue silky things. My jeans split wide open, flapping from the middle of my ass down to my thigh and I was working so hard I had no idea.

I wondered vaguely why all the guys were sort of pausing work and grinning when I walked by but it wasn't until the grader operator greeted me cheerfully with, "Thanks, sky, blue's my favorite color" that it began to dawn on my what was going on. In response to my furious, "Why didn't anyone tell me?", I just got a lot of sheepish grins. :blush:

They were a great bunch of guys, though.

[grannylib]

2. Happened to my hubby once; he was going commando when he went to

buy shoes. Unbeknownst to him, the crotch of his jeans had split, and when he got home, he was just bitching about the attitude of the person who had been helping him fit the shoes he had tried on. When he lay down on the couch, he put his feet up on the arm at one end, and I saw the split in his pants (with his package hanging free!) and about DIED laughing! It took me several minutes to get hold of myself sufficiently before I could tell him I bet I knew WHY he had some looks from the shoe salesman (who's eye-level would have been the same as hubby's crotch level, natch...)!!

God, he was mortified...

[OhioBlue]

14. that made me laugh out loud!!

:rofl:

[grannylib]

15. I could hardly stop laughing, although I felt bad for him, and knew he

would about shit when he found out...
but it was truly hilarious!!
Glad you got a giggle out of it :-)

[OhioBlue]

16. you told the story well...

it was the "package hanging free.." part that really made me start laughing.
:rofl:

[grannylib]

17. hee hee...didn't want to get all anatomical or anything...

thought it sounded better than "with his penis and testicles showing" or some such :-)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

21. ....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

3. I love the humanity, guts, and concern it took for you to tell her that!

You KNOW a lot of people had noticed and were reluctant to approach her to inform her. I had to tell one lady she'd had her period, quietly, but in public. It was difficult, but she was grateful. You saved that woman a lot of further embarassment.



:applause: :yourock: Bertha, and I don't mean maybe.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. Good for you, my dear bertha!

Stories like this one are one of the reasons I never go commando!

:scared:

[LostinVA]

6. Yeah, riiiight... we've heard the stories, Peggy....

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Oh, really?

:rofl:

What stories? And, more importantly, from who?




I'm waiiiiiiiiiiiiting!

:P

[LostinVA]

8. Ummm..... errr..... let's see... I believe it was

TOM CRUISE.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. ......

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

12. Or maybe it was Sean Penn...

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

28. As long as no one is underneath me while I...

do stupid shit like scale a random granite cliff barefoot on an uninhabited island in my cargo shorts, I should be clear. Most of the stuff I own is too loose to split. However, I do have a funny jeans splitting story...

I was a fencer in HS. So I'm at the districts championships and the asst. coach is giving me instructions before my bout. He tells me that when he yells downtown, I should do a very deep lunge with a strong overhead slash (sabre fencer). Unfortunately, he was wearing very tight Levi's and he demonstrated it for me. Totally splitting his jeans. He just looked down and said, "well, I just split my pants, so now you better listen." At the team award's banquet, I got to present to him a new pair of jeans, naturally telling the story to the whole team of about 50 kids and their parents. It rocked.

[LeftyMom]

5. My sister's dress did that at senior prom

She made it herself but didn't measure, so she didn't realize that an eight in pattern sizes is more like a six in off-the-rack. She had undies on though.

[MrsMatt]

10. years ago

I was at work and I noticed that a co-worker's sweater looked a little "perky". I asked her if she was wearing a bra (because we'd had discussions before about bralessness and I knew she wasn't one to go without). Her reply was "YOU know I never go braless". She the proceeded to lift up her shirt to show me, and low and behold she WAS wearing a bra. A bra that had worn out at BOTH nipple areas. She spent the rest of the day at work with her shoulders hunched over like an old woman, poor thing/

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

11. Amish Farmer's Market? Did you see any terrorists? Anyone suspicious?

And if so, were they partaking of the pretzels and cheesecake?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/12/washington/12assets.html?_r=1&ex=1152936000&en=52fb676f84e9ceb4&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin

[LostinVA]

13. They were all at the Petting Zoo recruiting the pot-bellied pigs...

[Skittles]

18. a lady in a restaurant - she had her skirt tucked up in the back

so her whole panty-hosed butt showed (she was emerging from the ladies room). I jumped up and whirled her around and pulled it down before anyone else saw it - OMG she thanked me profusely the poor thang

[Flaxbee]

19. at the airport recently, a woman was walking in front of

me with the entire back side of her skirt hiked up in her undies. Have no idea HOW she didn't feel that, but I jogged up to her and informed her that she'd tucked her skirt into her underwear. She thanked me, yanked the skirt down and kept on going. But NO ONE had told her, and many people noticed.

A grosser version was in the grocery store, a woman had an - ahem - dirty piece of toilet paper flowing out of the top of the back of her jeans - up and over the waistband and about halfway down the back of her jeans. Obviously hadn't made it into the toilet and she had a sort of brownish banner flowing from her jeans. It was horrible. She was talking to a FRIEND OF HERS WHO HADN'T TOLD HER when I approached her (keeping far away from the offending paper) and told her she had a slight problem. She looked at her friend and was so pissed off... I left at that point. Sorta lost my appetite to buy food.

[BigMcLargehuge]

20. I had an ass panel failure at the mall

it wasn't pretty. My journal entry of the whole sad story.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/BigMcLargehuge/2

[bertha katzenengel]

23. ass panel failure

:rofl:

The closest I've ever been to similar colorful language is in my dining room. You know the cushions folks put on their hardwood dining chairs? Ass pads.

Oh, yeah, one more, though not mine: the paper thing you put on a toilet seat in a public bathroom? Ass gasket.

[bridgit]

22. thank you, bertha, on behalf of all of us that are seen with a split...

or tattered something or other, or maybe a piece of visual schmootz we are unaware of :thumbsup: :hug:

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

24. Anyone cares

don't play golf in Old Navy Clothing!

[amitten]

25. Good Christ people, put on some underwear!

Especially in public!

[gkdmaths]

26. Oh, what a bad dream

I always go 'commando'. Sometimes I'm just too tired in the morning and forget to zip. If I do forget, I usually realize it as Im standing in line at the teller or at the grocery store on my way home from work or something.

I dont feel so bad bacuase Ive noticed that my bosss always forgets to zip too. :7

too bad for that poor lady, but it's happened to everyone at least once.

[eleny]

27. the other day my husband needed an ex-ray

we were in the waiting room afterward until the ex-ray was ready. a woman was also there waiting for hers. she looked to be in her mid forties, had a cute figure and wore hip hugger jeans. she scrunched down to put her ex-ray envelope into her bag and whoops - get the calking gun! plumber's crack.