|
Virtual perp walk captured on audio tape
(Goiters News Service-Tikrit, Iraq) Transcript of President George W. Bush*s arrest of evil (former) dictator Saddam Hussein:
unidentified voice: "We're ready now Mr. President. Go ahead." GWB*: "Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?" u.v.: "Yes Mr. President, it's a hot mic. You can go ahead." GWB*: "Hello? Who's this? Hello?" Col. Robert E. Lee Smith: "Yessir, Mr. President. This is Col. Robert E. Lee Smith, commander of the 106th Search and Seizure Brigade. I am standing in front of the evil former dictator, Saddam Hussein, with a Mark V Portable Field Communication Unit. We have you patched in by satellite. Saddam can hear every word you're saying. Please go ahead." GWB*: "Hello? Evil former dictator Saddam? You there? Hello?" CRELS: "Yessir. He's nodding his head. Please go ahead." GWB*: "OK, then. Karl, where's the card? No, goddamit, NOT Andy. The damn Miranda card. Shit. OK...here we go. Is he still listening?" CRELS: "YES, MR. PRESIDENT. PLEASE GO AHEAD. (unintelligible)" GWB*: "Awright then. Here we go. 'You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.' Hey Karl. Is that right about the damn trial lawyer? I thought we were talkin' one-way ticket to Gitmo. What's this shit about a court of law?" Karl Rove: "Uh...Mr. President, it's a hot mic. They can still hear you." GWB*: "Well why the HELL didn't somebody...aw never mind. Colonel? Did you get all that? Hello?" CRELS: "Yessir, Mr. President. We got it all. It's official now. If I may be so bold, WELL DONE sir!" GWB*: "OK, that's...uh...good. The official record shows me as the...whaddahyah call it?...(unintelligible) oh yeah, the arresting officer? You got him cuffed yet?" CRELS: "Yessir, Mr. President. The official record will show the arresting officer as President of the United States George W. Bush*, Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of the United States of America. We cuffed him as you were reading him his rights. Thank you sir." GWB*: "OK, then. Ten-four. Roger wilco. Catch you on the back side. Hee. Over-and out. Karl? What time do we go on the TV with this?" end of transmission.
|