Have you ever asked for (or been asked for) sex?

[trof]

trof's first (and probably only) sex thread.

I have NEVER asked "Do you want to (fill in your best/worst/most romantic euphemism for sexual intercourse here)"?

I have never BEEN asked.

It's always just sort of happened. Or not.
But there was no conversation about it beforehand.
There were puhlenty of non-verbal clues.
I have been turned down, but it was a "no, don't do that" that happened during...um...maneuvers.
Do people out on a second or third (or first?) date just say "Hey...how'd you like to me and you...?"

This geezer is curious.

[HEyHEY]

1. told the story before

SHe says "I can't just do this, I wanna make love"

A very frightened HEyHEY freezes up, 30 seconds later there are more people in the room ...chance missed

[HEyHEY]

5. oh and I have asked

Really drunk with a friend that I have fooled around with before "Just give me five minutes" Didn't get sex, but fooled around again...for about five minutes.

[trof]

12. Do you mean "I CAN'T just do this"?

I'm confused.

[HEyHEY]

14. yes sorry

didn't see the typo...there was sexual tension there...she wanted to break it, so did I, but my fear got ahold of me..I liked her too much, I'd even say I loved her.

[oneighty]

2. Many, many times!

Hey Sailor!

180

[trof]

9. OK, I ain't talkin' PROS.

Just civilians/amateurs.

[oneighty]

28. Oh!

Many times.

Hee Hee!

180

[unblock]

3. of course. these days you need a signed release form

:evilgrin:

[trof]

21. Yeah, things have changed a lot.

Don't know if I could cope in today's dating game.

[Booberdawg]

4. I have been asked but I said no. I didn't know him!

[HEyHEY]

7. eeeee

creepy

[Booberdawg]

20. And desperate, to say the least.

[trof]

10. I'd sure like to hear that story.

Total stranger?
Drunk?
Stoned?
Where?
Circumstances?

[Booberdawg]

Actually I used to get hit up on by older men quite a bit but twice

I was asked for sex by two guys my own age. The older men were quite a bit more descreet about it.

Once was in a bar I hung out in after work with coworkers. Complete stranger. He came up to me while I was talking to my boss and said he wanted some p***y. Before I had a chance to mention it to the owners he was kicked out. He was drunk and high on something.

The time I was talking about was I guy I had seen around but didn't know well. I was in a club with some friends from college. I knew his boss. He was out of it that night. Drunk and loaded on drugs - he was a case. I was in the parking lot and just came back from taking a guy home. He jumped in my car before I got out. I knew him, sort of, and wasn't concerned at first.

He said he had been waiting for me. He liked me. He wanted to have sex that night with me. (Ruh roh!) I said no. Let's go back in the bar. He wouldn't get out of my car. He started groping me so I decided to just leave him there and he ended up tearing my blouse.

I saw a friend of mine walking across the parking lot so I yelled hey so and so!! He started over towards my car to start up a conversation through my side of the car window while my unwelcome buddy quickly put himself BACK into his goddamn pants. In less than a minute I simply opened the door and got out of the car. Whispered under my breath that was attacking me and to go in with me to get his boss and get him out of my fucking car.

When we got back to my car he was gone.

[trof]

22. whew

I'm glad I'm a guy.
Nobody ever did anything like that to me.

[mojowork_n]

25. Yeah, but try being a short, in-shape, generally good-natured guy...

After I started working at my last job, I got hit on by the hockey-playing, Harley-riding dude who worked in the adjacent cubicle. He kept it up for months and months. I finally called the contract place that had hired both of us out there, just to say the guy was married, but gay, and it was sort of uncomfortable.

I don't know if there was a policy, but in hindsight, they let me get away with being all embarassed, and trying to minimize it. I wish they hadn't, and had called us both in to talk about it, to try and find out what had really been going on.

I really understand what women mean now, about men being pigs.

[Booberdawg]

36. That would be sexual harassment

:D

Can't say I mind having a few men know what that feels like. But, I can honestly say I don't think most men are pigs, but the few that are really take the cake.

[mojowork_n]

42. I wish I knew if it was the same, or different, or different the same way

Call me old-fashioned, too 'old school', or maybe even 'out of date', but it's the same-gender affectional preference thing that throws an extra-tight twist to the undershorts. After the usual decade or so of fumbling around trying to understand how one was supposed to interact with women towards whom one was attracted, I can honestly say I think I understand the basic ground rules. The eternal *pas de deux* of the sexes, that elaborate dance. I think you're right that most men and most women do understand the courtesies, and play within the foul lines 95% of the time. (Although maybe the specific percentage of agreement might differ somewhat by gender, if anyone ever bothered to take a poll.)

But all that goes out the window when it's a lumbering, ox-eyed, lout with the same chromosome pattern you've got, that's the problem.

One word sums it up:

Yuck

And when the a**hole is living a double life...


Bleaaaaaahhhhhh, run for the hills!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. I've never asked for but I have been asked for and begged to the

point of nausea...even had one person go farther than ask to attempting to take...but I handled it rather forcefully...he backed off.

[trof]

13. I can understand that.

I saw your photo on another thread.
;-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. thanks

so much for anonymity :shrug:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. Closest thing to me is...

..."are the children asleep already?"

[LizW]

34. LOL! I'm familiar with that one.

Once, long ago, a guy came up to me in a bar and very politely asked if I would care to join him and his girlfriend in a threesome. I just knew my friends had put him up to it, or that Alan Funt was nearby, and I burst out laughing. He got offended and began to assure me that he was "man enough" to handle two women. That just made me laugh more. Finally, he walked away.

I actually felt bad for laughing.

[Blue-Jay]

11. I've been asked on a few occasions.

I don't really ask for sex myself. (wait. Is this a sex thread?) Anyway, I'm a little more subtle than to just blurt something like that out. Hey, it works for me.

[populistmom]

16. I never had to ask

The very few sexual relationships I've been in, I tended to be the "seducer" so to speak and when it came down it, there was no "request" (more subtle), but they knew because I made it very clear in my actions, and they couldn't resist my charms really. (My problem when I was younger used to be they would get so excited things ended before they could start if you know what I mean.)
I've been asked, and generally speaking, the way I am, if it's going to happen, it will happen on my terms. If it's not, it won't happen. No amount of asking, begging, or pleading would make me give it up when I don't want to. But if I want to...watch out.

[Hubert Flottz]

17. Did you know that ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Freepers are Bisexual?

So Damned UGLY they gotta' buy sex!

[trof]

18. Hey, Hubert.

Where ya been?

[Hubert Flottz]

19. Snowed in Dude!

It's pouring it down here right now! Lucky I went to the Absolut store early!

[RainDog]

23. as in..

do you mean from someone you are not currently involved with??

does it not count then?

If it doesn't count then, then, no I haven't.

If it does count if you were already in a relationship with someone, then I am guilty of propositioning....but I get the feeling that's not what you mean.

most of the time, seems to me, it wasn't verbal...I think most guys realize they would not get anywhere with that sort of thing with females, you know?

I had a boss who came up behind me and put his hands down my shirt...I suppose that was sort of "asking." --and I sort of quit that day.

but aren't most of those sorts of moments, uh, non-verbal...at least the ones that actually happen?

[trof]

24. That's been my experience.

Completely non-verbal.
This thread was inspired by a comment on another thread about someone asking.

[Faygo Kid]

26. Yeah, but not now, in my 50s.

Ah, the early '70s. Sweet, sweet years. Now? When is nap time?

[Robb]

27. Does saying

"Can I borrow your towel a minute? My car hit a water buffalo" count?

[trof]

29. I dunno.

Is a towel the only thing she was wearing?

[Kamika]

30. rofl just chat on yahoo

Youll get asked for it like 30 times a day. 60 if you have your cam on

[tigereye]

31. Is it less subtle generally for those under 25/30?

Am not sure if it is generational. Funny, I just said this on a previous thread about kissing... that I think it was more subtle when I was out there in college years, and can't ever recall being asked "DO you want to ---," except by people who were really drunk. Most folks I know were more subtle than that. :)

[Kamika]

33. nah i dont know

Im 21 its more like

"HEY MA YOU SO FINE I WANNA DO YOU HERE AND NOW!"

[tigereye]

37. I guess I wonder if that is a good thing?

yes, there are times for just the beast with two backs and there are times for "romance." Or is romance dead!!?? Gasp.

I am glad I am not out there now, don't think I could deal with it. Although, things were pretty overt sexually in the seventies, when there didn't seem to be as many health variables to worry about.

[Kamika]

38. who has time for romance

While i dont have sex with guys that says stuff like that.. I admit i get seriously bored with guys that are too romantic and dont try to do anything on a date.


I seriously couldnt care less about romance aslong as i have a man that knows how to treat a woman

[TreasonousBastard]

35. When I had an AOL account...

I invented a superslut female personality. Women were telling me about the hassling they got, and I wanted to see for myself.

Logged on and almost immediately had dozens of IMs sending me pictures of photoshopped schlongs and invitations to meet them at the local bar or do cyber.

Wow! Did they ever get pissed when I said no! Or suggested they weren't man enough.

("Can you pound a nail through a two-by-four with that thing? A girl's got to have her standards, you know.")

While closing what seemed like hundreds of IM windows, I noticed some guy actually cybered me. Whoa! I was raped?

Anyway, yeah, I got the point.

[arcane1]

40. lol, how true

I'm not much of an "asker" anyway... and if a woman wants to send me 'signals' they better hire a skywriter! :)

I'm probably the opposite of most guys... where they would take just about anything as a signal, I rarely even tak signals as signals, lol

arcane1 <------ has to be beaten over the head with it :)

[GOPisEvil]

43. I'm with you!

I suck at getting the signals women send. If you want my attention, you might as well hit me in the head with a brick! :D

[TreasonousBastard]

32. Usually, it just kinda happened...

you know, the usual nonverbal clues and mutual gropefest leading to...

When Plato's Retreat was in business, of course, things were a bit more "specific." No time to waste before the pizzas showed up.

And, there were a couple of times here and there when one or the other of us just got out with it, with varying degrees of success.

Usually, though, it just happened. Or didn't.

Lately, though, I'm known by my Arab name-- Hasn bin Lade

[trof]

39. The "save time, ask up front" theory

Had a friend who said that's what you should do the first time you met a woman. I don't remember that he was too successful.

[45th Med]

41. Yes, old girlfriend pulls out a rubber ducky and......

after she takes me to a Steve Miller Band concert she says "Can we do something special tonight?"

I say, "No, it wouldn't be right."

DAMN! MISSED MY ONE AND ONLY CHANCE TO DOIT WITH A HOT LITTLE REDHEAD WITH A HUGE BOSUM!

I was in love with her big time but two weeks before I caught her making out in my computer room with a friend. Her excuse was that she was drunk and that wasn't good enough for me. I kicked them both out of my house. We were prom dates, spent many weekends away camping, in San Antone and Austin doing all kinds of fun, non-physical things. I loved her, I still love her to this day. Maybe I'm still hung up on her but I'm trying to move on with my life. She moved away to college but funny enough, we started writing each other love letters. It has been 10 years since we first me, since I fell in love with her and it has been 3 long years since I've seen her.

[ACK]

44. A couple of times

Been asked a couple of times. It was weird and cool.

Asked a couple of times. That was even stranger but when things are playing out kind of odd and your not sure what the intentions are. Ask.

[regularguy]

45. Oh, I've been asked. It usually takes 4 to 7 years to

realize it and by then they're (and I'm) married and stuff. Probably for the better anyway!

[areschild]

46. Well....I guess.

When I lived in New York many, many, many moons ago, I was walking to or from somewhere and a guy comes up to me and says, "Are you out for money?" I said, "NO". Now, that shocked and scared me as I was just a naive, trusting soul who was never meant to live in a big city like NY.

Now that I think back on it, maybe it was a compliment. Should I have been flattered, or does that happen to every woman in NY?

[Padraig18]

47. Yes.

A couple of years ago, I was dancing at a club, and started watching this really hot guy who was also dancing. When I left the floor to go and get a Coke, he followed me and came right up to me and said, "Hi, my name is Chad, and I have a place. You wanna?".

I did. :evilgrin:

[NightTrain]

48. No, I haven't. What am I doing wrong?!

:shrug: