Shaved my legs; waxed my eyesbrows.

[kiraboo]

I've heading out tonight and it had better be a goddamned blast. Meeting the black-haired man for a second attempt to get past the past. This man is poor and only 43, so he's no sugar daddy. Wish me luck, or better said, wish HIM luck because I'm in no mood to be fucked with! - wait - that come out wrong...

[miss_american_pie]

1. LOL

Good luck to you, or him, or both of you. :D

[kiraboo]

6. Thank you my dear.

He's already made one joke about "slipping between the sheets." He is going to have to be prepared to move at a sloth-like crawl with me.

[ceile]

2. Have fun!!! n/t

[NewWaveChick1981]

3. Have a great time!

I hope he's in a good mood....

[kiraboo]

4. Yes, we got that straightened out when I went out with him one

afternoon. He has also admitted that the shrub is an ass and the whole republican party corrupt, in case you missed that post! And he knows what he's getting in to, with respect to my recent history. How can I go wrong? Ha!

[NewWaveChick1981]

5. Cool! Well, at least that's settled...

He's not some FReeper in disguise, then. :hug: Go for it!

[mzteris]

7. um -

you don't know me, but --- my advice to you is

spend a whole lot of time with yourself, by yourself.

Don't date.

Leave men the hell alone.

You need to get comfortable and happy with YOU first before you can EVER be happy with anyone else.

You've been through a whole hell of a lot from what I've gleaned just dipping into the lounge now and again - and you sure as heck do NOT need to be hooking up with anyone. Period.

Hang out with friends, sure. But leave the sex and the relationships alone for a while. A long while.

Sometimes it sucks, sure, but it beats hell out of the alternative of getting caught up needlessly and the pain that comes from wrong entanglements.

Take my $.02 for what it's worth - but I've been around the block a whole bunch of times and well - you know how people say, "if only I knew then what I know now" - I know now - and I'm telling it to you. Take it in the spirit in which it's given.

Again, you'll never ever be happy with anyone else until you're happy by yourself.

:hug:

[kiraboo]

8. I think your advice is very good.

Being alone is not an issue for me, despite what you might think. And relatively recent deadly heartbreak does not make me a cripple, but just in case, I've been completely honest with this guy about my situation (I've known him since February). Neither he nor I want to get married.

[kiraboo]

16. You were, of course, completely right.

He is a good fellow and understood. I'm home again and am going to take your advice to heart. I can't fix my heartbreak by breaking somebody else's heart.

[onenogoodnik]

9. Well good luck. Be very careful with your heart.

[kiraboo]

12. Onegoodnik, thank you. You don't me from Adam, as my

sister would say. I was careful, and my heart is as intact as it's been. Welcome to DU my friend! I hope you enjoy it here. There are so many fine people!

[Xipe Totec]

10. Enjoy the date

don't worry about what may or may not be in the future.

Just enjoy the pleasure of another human being's company.

:headbang:

[kiraboo]

13. That's what I tried to do! Thanks you Xipe Totec.

[Guava Jelly]

11. Just have a good time

and see what happens.
good luck :)

[kiraboo]

15. GoPsUx, he gave me a lecture

at the end of the evening, saying my heart wasn't free and that he wished me well. So damned stupid (me, I mean). I guess more time is needed.

[Guava Jelly]

17. Lecture instead of a kiss what an idiot

thats probably why his @$$ is single.
Clueless about the ladies.

[mzteris]

18. maybe he was being a nice

guy instead of jerk just out to take what he could get, eh?

[kiraboo]

19. Yes, that's what he was doing I think.

He's already emailed this morning.

[mzteris]

21. sounds like a nice to keep as friend for a while

Friendships that are allowed to grow naturally *may* sometimes become something more. Even if not, you've still got a great friend. And for now, friends are really what you need.

(God I sound like some lecturing old spinster. lol Sorry. ) You just remind me of someone I used to know and - well - I'm used to "mom-ing" people.

[kiraboo]

22. I welcome your advice.

You don't sound spinsterish at all! And "friends" is where we left it, I'm hoping. He knows just about everybody in the city, so he's a good guy to keep in touch with.

[u4ic]

14. Well?

Details...;)

[kiraboo]

20. It was fine. He was pleasant but as I wrote elsewhere,

he gave me a lecture on not being emotionally available and how that wasn't fair to him etc. So we said our fond farewells and then of course I received email from him this morning wondering if I want to spend the afternoon together! I'm going to try to live life w/out looking for a while. The decision has me feeling quite calm. Thanks for asking u4ic. There just isn't much to tell!

[u4ic]

23. OK -

so, you told him about your situation before this date, made it clear you weren't emotionally available, THEN got a lecture after the fact?

I'd tell him to take a hike. Sounds to me like a controlling guy. You don't need that.

I understand where you're at, and I think that taking time for yourself, for your own emotional healing, is the way to go. It's easy to feel lost, scared, not grounded...lonely...my own case, it's taken me almost a year (not dating, save 3 months - which only added more to the pain), and the changes have been quite remarkable. I couldn't have seen it back then, but emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally - I feel like a new person. Not without a hell of a lot of pain, though.

Take care of yourself right now, and you'll reap the benefits. :hug: