Some people's idea of humor

[Oeditpus Rex]

Just got this in the E from someone I used to like and respect. :eyes:



Navy SEALS are always taught:

1) Keep your priorities in order and
2) Know when to act without hesitation.

A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the SEAL got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The SEAL went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the SEAL and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like a dumb ass; so He sent me."



My reply: "Is this what some people consider humor? Assaulting someone because their beliefs are different from yours?"

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Sorry, but I thought it was kinda funny.

:hide:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

13. Yeah, funny as a nigger joke. Har de har har. -nt

[Midlodemocrat]

30. Oh for cryin' out loud.

:eyes:

I don't think racial jokes are funny at all.

[Misunderestimator]

14. If it was rewritten, thusly... it might be funny...

A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a fundamentalist christian, a member of the NRA and a proud Bush supporter.

One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if I am a hypocrite, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the SEAL got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The SEAL went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the SEAL and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today trying to protect American soldiers who were sent to their deaths by another "christian"; so He sent me."

[otherlander]

2. God's protecting them? Who knew?

:shrug:

[RevCheesehead]

28. You'd think God would do better than 2,500 dead.

Sounds like their god is a slacker. :eyes:

[qnr]

3. I agree with you. It's idiotic, in my opinion. n/t

[LeftyMom]

4. An avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU?

The horror! :scared:

:sarcasm:

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. I bet the long-time friend who sent it

doesn't realize that also describes me. :evilgrin:

[Call Me Wesley]

8. Infidel!

:stoat:

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. For sure, it's hell I'll be goin'

But I'm takin' a few folks with me. :evilgrin:

[Call Me Wesley]

12. Well, buddy, have fun with all the

Yankees fans then ...

:yoiks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj9CDVUE1FM&search=hell%20mr%20bean

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. Mr. Bean is a Jankees fan?

Who knew? :shrug:

I figured he sided with Hull Kingston Rovers or Coventry City.

[Call Me Wesley]

18. Nah, he's not.

But the Yankee fans are with the French and the Germans there. :P

[Kellanved]

22. And with the Brazilians over here

:P

[Call Me Wesley]

23. I won't do the La-Ola-wave!

Since I guess that must be real hell ... :)

[Kellanved]

26. It's OK in a big stadium

Extremely unnerving when done in something smaller, like that mini stadium at the Reichstag (don't ask - two hours of pure agony and patriotic Bild give-aways).

[LeftyMom]

11. Why do you hate Murkka?

It's for our freedumbs, isn't it?

[ghostsofgiants]

5. I laughed...

But only because it was so dumb.

[Call Me Wesley]

6. Don't we know

that every member of the ACLU is a godless person by now? And yes, when God's busy, others have to get in charge sent by him.

Ahh, there, life's soooo easy.

:sarcasm:

On edit: Adding a pic. (B5 fans will get it.)

[pokerfan]

32. The Babylon 5 mantra

"And just one more thing. On your way back, I'd like you to take the time to learn the Babylon 5 mantra: 'Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out!' Babylon control out. Civilians!" "Just kidding about that God part. No offence." -- Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova {A Voice in the Wilderness}

[jobycom]

10. Yeah.

That pretty much sums it up. Fake wars, fake jokes, fake miracles, fake scenarios. That's how Republicans prove their points. By lying and thinking they've been funny and clever. BushCo.

Maybe you should have responded that God was too busy weeping over the misuse of his name and asked you to tell them to stop it.

[ThomCat]

15. I hate these "cute" fake stories people write and send to everyone.

We all know damned well that this never happened or it would be all over the newspapers. That guy would be in jail for assault. The professor would have been ridiculed on Fox by every talking head, and Ann Coulter would have an entire chapter on him in her latest book.

If they want to make a point would it be too difficult to do it in the real world?

[grace0418]

16. I got that gem from my father-in-law. It makes me so mad but he just keeps

sending that shit. He and my mother-in-law are two of the most gullible, superstitious, terrified people I've ever met. It's so sad that they let fear rule them so much.

[kiraboo]

19. I like jobycom's advice above. Maybe your

father-in-law would too!

[sendero]

20. Recently discovered coda...

...

just then the doors burst open. Three men in white coats grabbed the SEAL and wrestled him into a straightjacket.

"So, god told you he was too busy? Hearing voices are we? Come with us"

[skygazer]

21. I've always loved those who lump religion and violence together

Cracks me up. Not only does this idiot think it makes perfect sense for someone to "cold-cock" someone for not believing in god but that it also makes sense that god would approve of war and protect those who wage it.

Whatever happened to "love thy neighbor?" :wtf:

[kiraboo]

29. Sometimes love hurts. Or hadn't you heard?

:rofl:

[CanuckAmok]

24. Maybe the joke is a reactionary SEAL asshole going to college?

:shrug:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

25. an alternate ending.

The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting American soldiers from people who commit violence in the name of God like I just did to you." Then everybody's head exploded.

[Oeditpus Rex]

27. Just got this from someone

who was among the recipients of the "joke":

>If you didn't like it, you should have just deleted it.



Too. stupid. to. live. :eyes:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

31. Our friends at Snopes.com address this story

along with the similarly bogus Einstein story. Here's part of their exegesis:

"Likewise, "the atheist professor" is a figure common to a number of urban legends and anecdotes of the faithful — he gets flung into the mix where there's a need for someone to play the role of Science Vanquished in Science-versus-Religion tales. But he is not inserted merely to serve as an icon of learning to be humbled in tales that aim to teach that faith is of greater value than proveable knowledge; he is also woven into these sorts of stories for his lack of belief. Just as the villain in oldtime melodramas had to have a waxed moustache, a black cape, and an evil laugh, so too must the bullying professor of such stories be an atheist — it would not be enough for him to be merely an insufferable, over-educated git arrogantly attempting to stretch the minds of his students by having them question something deeply believed. No, he must instead be someone who rejects the existence of God, an assignment of role that re-positions what might otherwise have been a bloodless debate about philosophy as an epic battle between two champions of faith and denial and sets up the action to unfold as one putting the boots to the other. "

http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

[caty]

33. I am so tired of getting

e-mails from freepers who keep trying to prove somehow that god is on the side of this war. Who are they trying to convince. They can't convince me (I'm a Humanist. And, even if I believed in god, I sincerely doubt he would be for the killing of any living being.)---so they must be trying to convince themselves with these fictional stories.