get over it.

[mopinko]

do you? can you? i am having some trouble with it. i am coming up on the 1st anniversary of the end of a 20 year friendship. ugly scene at the annual 4th of july party. the whole thing was crazy. for a little while it looked like it might even wreck my marriage. (ok, it was a factor. other things were going on. but it sure poured gasoline on the fire. that part is all better.) lots of memories from 20 years, and you bump into them in the strangest, most mundane thing. i am not obsessed or anything. but it is kinda gnawing at me. too many unanswered questions. blech.
so, how good are you at leaving crap behind? (ok, crap here- not shit that should never be gotten over, like the crimes of the bfee.)

[gkdmaths]

1. Im the champ

I just move on to the next issue.

what else is there to do? :shrug:

[mopinko]

2. some of us need something

to cling to.

[gkdmaths]

5. eh,

sure, whatever. *yawn*

;)

[Kerrytravelers]

3. "those people would be dead by now in my world."

When someone is given the opportunity to be nice, but instead acts like a jerk, I'm done. Period.

[mopinko]

8. oh, i'm done

as far as they are concerned. i needed my friends. they were on the other side. who needs that? just still got a hole here, is all.

[Kerrytravelers]

9. Basically, life is too short to spend time arguing with people and dealing

with drama.

People go through things. Friends are there to see you through the tough times. But when people are the creators of their own dramas- and the drama never ends- I finally have to draw the line.


And when someone on DU gets unnecessarily snippy, being that I don't know them personally, I generally just never respond to them again.

[mopinko]

11. it was a brief explosion of drama

"But when people are the creators of their own dramas- and the drama never ends-"- that would be my family. something else i am trying to get over.

[skygazer]

4. I'm pretty good at it

I'm of the school that says holding onto resentment is like taking poison and hoping that the other guy dies. It does more harm to the person holding on to it. I have enough problems in my life without hanging onto problems from my past.

I know it's easier said than done but giving things like this a huge mental shrug and moving on is very freeing.

[mopinko]

7. i agree with everything you say, now, if you will just

hand me the keys.

[femmocrat]

6. I'm Slovak. We can hold a grudge until forever.

I never forgive or forget.

[mopinko]

10. no way i will forgive, even if they ask

and it will be hard to forget. 20 years of friendship leaves a large hole.
and a crazy part of it is that i think a lot of it had to do with an intersection of some trouble they were having with some trouble hubby and i were having. so, part of me can't help worrying about them. :banghead:

[MorningGlow]

12. I hang onto crap I shouldn't even though I don't want to

I'm getting better about letting stuff go, though. But it takes effort. A telling line in your post, Mopinko--"too many unanswered questions"--that's really what gets to me--a lack of closure. Gimme closure, I'm fine. Leave me hanging, I dwell on it for decades. Humans sure are funny creatures...

[mopinko]

13. human nature- blech

yup, those unanswered questions, and the human propensity to fill all blanks with the worse case scenario.
i am getting there, but after 20 years, there are so many things to remind you. i know it will be better after all the "anniversaries" pass. stuff we did together every year. trying to take pains to replace those things with something new.
i am an emotional person. it is both my strength and my weakness.