I've decided I want to have a mortal DU enemy

[jpgray]

Tell me why you should be it.

[Neoma]

1. Nothing comes to mind.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. Challenge !

I am immortal. I shall stalk you for enternity !

But first I must be fed cookies.

[KitchenWitch]

3. Because I am an evil witch

And I will feed you well.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

4. Um...I'm actually pretty cool once you get to know me.

I'd probably make a bad mortal enemy. I do have an arch-nemesis in real life, but that's just because she's crazy.

[Richard Steele]

5. I seem to be taken already....sorry.

[Random_Australian]

6. Because you are a good for nothing freeptard sonofabitch and should

be shot, your mother wore combat boots while shooting toads with a bazooka made out of felt and your father was a moose in diguise, I hope next Christmas the yuletide logs slip from your fire and burn your house down, shortly after you douse yourself in hydrazine flavoured wine, and you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with pineapple flavoured cheese if they made barns 5 inches wide and you had to throw it from 160 000 miles away, (weakling) and what is more I hope that rabid badgers gnaw off your elbows, your left knee turns into aspargus, and with all the hunger in the world, how do you explain concrete, because you didn't throw a party for the red Queen who is now green with envy LIKE PRAWNS AFTER YOU COOK THEM because you are a very bad cook when there is no gas and electricity because the AFOREMENTIONED moose means that if you can read this you don't need glasses on the underside of your computer's power CORD.

Got that?

:rofl:

[wildhorses]

7. becuase I am a worthy opponent

and I can ride better than you...horses, that is.

[NMMNG]

8. Because I'm an atheist vegetarian lesbian slayer of fundies

En garde :evilgrin:

[diamondsndust]

13. does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac stay up all night wondering

if there really is a Dog?

[NMMNG]

47. Possibly

:P

[jpgray]

39. I think my friend Jake has that DVD

You host a lot of slumber parties, yeah? You really should have saved up enough to get both breasts enhanced, by the way.

[NMMNG]

48. They don't need any enhancement

They're too big as it is. :P

[intheflow]

9. I'm mortal.

So that's 50% of the battle there.

I also had a friend who was married to John P. Gray. That jpgray ran off with a floozy while in grad school, which his wife was supporting him through. If you are that jpgray, I am already your mortal enemy.

*insert boxing emoticon*

[Vidar]

10. Tough call between KitchenWitch & Random-Australian,

two relentless posters. Won't offer myself, as I'm too lazy

[Road Scholar]

11. Ben Franklin said "Judge me by the enemies that I have made", so

since you are a sorry, lazy, Republican ass hole, it works out pretty good.ROFLMAO:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Misunderestimator]

27. I believe that was FDR.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

12. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Deja Q]

14. Because the make-up "kiss" wasn't good enough?

:rofl:

[taterguy]

15. because I'm smarter and better looking than you are

[ProfessorGAC]

16. And Why Would I Want To Be?

I'm willing to negotiate, but need to know why i should expend the energy loathing you. We can probably come to some agreement as to why we should hate one another.

Have your people call my people.
The Professor

[jpgray]

33. I hate Yes and almost all prog/guitar wank

I have a special place in my heart for Robert Fripp, though.

[ProfessorGAC]

38. Well, The Fripp Thing Ruined It

Otherwise we might have been gettin' somewhere.
The Professor

[XNASA]

17. Because you suck.

[jpgray]

34. Usually enmity starts with a point of contention

Try harder. x(

[XNASA]

44. Do I have to draw you a diagram?

:rant:

[Richardo]

18. "No, Mr gray, I expect you to die."

[jpgray]

35. For someone with a lot of smuggled gold

Auric really couldn't coordinate a wardrobe.

[Deep13]

19. My favorite beverage: kitten smoothies.

:evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

20. So Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing

and blah blah blah "How many is a brazilian?"

[swag]

21. Surely my use of the Oxford comma qualifies me.

[jpgray]

37. I'm looking for an unqualified nemesis, sorry

[SteppingRazor]

22. Because I fucking hate you, and constantly dream up...

outlandish, Rube Goldbergian schemes with which to finally kill you.

You may have thwarted my latest, in which a blimp dropped a piano on a car, whose alarm then caused a scared cat to jump through a window and land on a switch, which turned on a fan which blew a toy sailboat attached to a string across a bathtub full of water, which caused the string to go taut, pulling the trigger of the Heckler and Kock USP .40SW tactical handgun, with silencer, which caused a bullet to go shooting out the window, racing over your head when you bent over to pick up a dime, but AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, ONE DAY I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!! THIS I SWEAR BEFORE ALL THAT IS UNHOLY!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!




Does that qualify me as a DU enemy? It's about the best I could do. :shrug:

[radwriter0555]

23. I'm on everyone else's hit or ignore list, why not you too? Feel free to

join the crowd and follow along!

Good clean fun for the whole family!

[Phillycat]

24. I tend to correct people's grammar. In public.

Also, when I chew gum, I invariably pop it and make a lot of noise.

[jpgray]

40. Fragment!

That should start things off with an interrobang?!

[Phillycat]

42. FUCKING FUCK FUCK

Eh, I don't know. I'm pretty tired today. Can I be your mortal enemy later?

[jpgray]

46. "FUCKING FUCK FUCK" Now there's a sentence I could get behind

In fact I have been. Now hopefully ending in a preposition is something up with which you will put.

[dpbrown]

25. My name is Inego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Grrrr...

[Misunderestimator]

26. If you became my enemy, you would instantly make a few friends.

So, I guess the only reason I can tell you to be my enemy is if you want a few instant friends. :) (Word of warning though... My friends are much more interesting than my enemies.)

[Shine]

28. Sorry, I'm a "let's all be friends" kinda gal.

mortal enemies ain't my scene, darlin'.

I AM your friend, though.

Corny, but true. :D

:hi:

[Bucky]

29. Do not bother calling your parents, sibs, coworkers, or dog. I killed them

I don't want to kill you, Gray. I want to make you suffer; suffer as you have made me suffer these long five years, rotting in this Mongolian hell hole. But now I've escaped, Gray. I'm out and I'm out for revenge. Your girlfriend is next. And now you have to choose. Will you save her and let me blow up Montreal, or will you rush off to Montreal to diffuse this bomb and live with the guilt for the rest of your life that you could have saved the only person in the world foolish enough to love you? Think about it, Gray, but think quickly. Time is running out.

Heh.

[Magrittes Pipe]

30. Just one?

:shrug:

[RandomKoolzip]

31. Robert Wyatt sucks mule taint.

The Monks? Poseurs with a visual gimmick who were so bad even Americans didn't want them.

Oh, and "Canterbury" is Olde English for "Flute-tooting Hobbit-rapists."


Howzat? :evilgrin:

[jpgray]

32. Pretty good. Except I agree with all that and still like both

So :P, not good enough.

[LaraMN]

36. Because I have better hair than you.

:shrug:

Hey, I'm a lova' not a hata'.

[jpgray]

41. My hair is unparalleled!

By which I mean any two strands would meet on a plane. And then make awkward small talk while pretending to read the skymall catalog.

[RedCloud]

43. Because you can't hurt me...

It's like I am made out of air or something. I am way high in the sky and if you want it rough, you will turn red...

[EstimatedProphet]

45. Because I intend to eat your brains and read the future with your liver

I would think that should be sufficient. But if it isn't, I also intend to take over the world and convert all global business efforts into insurance agencies.

[Akoto]

49. Because I'm your evil twin from the mirror universe.

I have the goatee!

If you have the goatee, then not only am I your evil twin, but we're also in a dimensional temporal paradox!

(Yes, I was watching Star Trek today.)

[helderheid]

50. ME ME ME ME ME!!!!

[alarcojon]

51. Cause I can solve that math problem and you can't

you know the one.

[jpgray]

52. My shame is really piling up

It makes a wart of Olympus at this point. :(

How are things? Haven't seen you around these parts for a while. Here's a math problem for -you-:

If a girl has six apples, gives her grandmother three and you one, what's the big grey animal standing next to her?

[HEyHEY]

53. Cause you're too ugly to be the DU champ!

[jpgray]

54. It's my dewlap, isn't it?

At least my fingertips are smooth.

[Robeson]

55. Yeah, like I need another enemy.

[BikeWriter]

56. I'd rather tell you why someone else should be it.

That would probably be a TOS violation.