Great Things About Getting Older

[azmouse]

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

No one expects you to run into a burning building..

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

[Crazy Dave]

1. When your kids call or come by to borrow money....

...pretend you have Alzheimer's and say, "Who the hell are you people?"

[leftofthedial]

2. great things about getting older . . .

:hi: have you seen my dentures?

[billyskank]

3. "What did I walk up here for?"

:D

[kwassa]

4. You get to see younger people agonizing over things that you did

and be thankful that you don't have to do it again.

and thankful that it was all so meaningless, in the big picture of life.

[Cruzan]

5. What's nice about banging chicks in their mid to late forties (if they're

still hot enough) is you pretty much don't have to worry about getting them pregnant, particularly if they've never had kids to begin with (these can be real finds).

[Ron Green]

6. You don't have to wear clown clothes just because they're in style.