It is Hannidate profile time!

[Sannum]

Gentlemen, I know you are having a problem finding the right gal'. Well, Hannidate is here to help.

*Cue Dating Game Music*

First, we have Lord lovin Heather who is working toward her bachalor's (her spelling, not mine) degree in teaching. She is very
strong in what she believes both in her christian faith and political views. Go Rush and Hannity.

http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1278


Next up! Candice, who has a life goal of becoming a housewife! Yes Indeedy! She says that "I need a man to liberate me from the workplace so I can take my true, God-intended place at his side. I want someone that I could cook, clean, and raise
children for. I want someone who would be willing to attend Church with me every Sunday and sometimes on other days when I feel the urge. I have never dated anyone since I decided to wait until an appropriate age. So have at 'er guys! This is a fresh one!


http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1272

And last, but not least, we have this little harlot that is an American Beauty Lookin' For a True Patriot! This lovely lady likes to chew tobacco. She is recently widowed and she is HORNY!


http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1344

And of course, I would never forget the ladies of the Lounge, I am one, afterall! I won't keep the good ones all to myself, I promise!

Here is a Great American seeking an American Great! He puts his Faith in the Lord above and in Our Leader, who is His
representative in Washington.
http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1106

And finally, because reading the profiles made me throw up a little because I could practically smell the BO and gasoline, we have Conservative Warrior. He ain't no sensitive type.
http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1188

[smokey nj]

1. The Great American should put his faith in a dentist because

apparently the Lord's not listening. And isn't that sweet, Conservative Warrior is offering me us a Bud.

[Sannum]

3. Them dentists is commies!

All of em!:7

[kiraboo]

17. Conservative Warrior would actually be kind of cute

were he not drunk in a tent on a waterbed. Ya know?

[XemaSab]

25. Looks like a 10 dollar Wal-Mart air mattress to me

:shrug:

[kiraboo]

35. Ah, you may be right.

I was having trouble identifying just what it is.

[u4ic]

23. I think it's the sad state

of people not being able to afford to go to the dentist. :-(

[GCP]

33. Those are his real teeth??

I thought he was wearing those fake Billy-Bob teeth you can buy in joke shops!
Silly me :spank:

[Deja Q]

2. Well, if those mens' pictures don't drive the gayest of men straight...

nothing will!

:wow:

:spray:

Pity there aren't any real men afoot over there...

Now Candice, who clearly looks like a programmed cultie, has the most potential... but she's living in 1949 for pity's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!! But her goal sounds fairly fake; why should we believe her sincerity? "I want to be a housewife!" makes me think of Peggy Bundy, not June Cleaver, I'm sorry! In words, she sounds nice... and is hot, though I wouldn't go after her...

[JVS]

5. I'd date Candice, but I don't want to go to her damned church.

I don't think she's Lutheran, and I refuse to go to non-Lutheran heresy-church!

[Blue_Tires]

21. i'd rock her body as well

but that whole 'liberate me from work' shit i don't need

[NewJeffCT]

32. My thought on that

was that pretty soon she would need liberation from cleaning, so you have to hire a housekeeper to come in to clean... then liberation from cooking, so you hire a cook...

[mduffy31]

26. Heresy?

You are already going to a heretical church, because it isn't the Catholic church sir.

:P

[JVS]

40. *snort* yeah, sure.

The immaculate conception is a complete fabrication!

We are The Catholic Church, yinz is just perpetrating a fraud

[realisticphish]

29. I agree

those non-Lutherans will BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF DEEPEST, DARKEST HELL!!!!

[JVS]

39. Amen brother phish!

But you have to remember it's not HELL, it's HEEEEYYYYYLLL

[Monk06]

46. Candice has a creepy Coulter thing happenin with her eyes. Never

dated? Yeah sure.

Never dated but banged the entire football team and tribbed half
the cheerleaders for good measure.

[GirlinContempt]

4. Real mature.

[Deja Q]

6. Some DUers go out of their way to hurt other DUers.

At least those pictured aren't DUers.

And, yes, it's still wrong.

I think I learned 2 new things today...

[GirlinContempt]

8. I think if it isn't something

you would find acceptable when done to you, it isn't something you should do.

[JVS]

9. Aww man, laying a guilt-trip with that Golden Rule shit!

You win, you're right.

[GirlinContempt]

12. I'm always right

:D :P

[JVS]

13. I'm not going to believe that. But I'd believe that you are frequently...

correct.

[GirlinContempt]

14. Why I oughtta

:D

[Deja Q]

10. Exactly. I just edited my post. Well, almost exactly...

I realized my own error and my own hypocrisy.

Won't mean others won't stop doing it, however - at least the reactionaries can say it was done unto them first... the proactive ones needing to understand more.

So it's not utter hypocrisy.

Especially when the pro-active lot don't believe in that charming ideal either.

[ghostsofgiants]

7. Yeah, real mature, Bradley.

</obscure childhood cartoon rreference>

[Omphaloskepsis]

31. Yeah.. I'm going with you on this one..

Ohh. Awesome.. I have a KitKat on my desk.. Amazing how the little things rock bottoms..

[JVS]

11. Is it possible that someone set up those last 2 as a joke?

[smtpgirl]

15. Is that an oxymoron or what??

The girl going for her bachalors degree in teaching!!


Well, the people at DU should teach her how to spell or use spellcheck

BACHELOR'S

SHEESH

[mduffy31]

28. If she is going to teach our nation's youth

no wonder why the rest of the world is passing us by at the speed of light when it comes to education.

[smtpgirl]

16. Are these profiles for real???

UGGH,

I am glad that I don't venture to Hannidate

WHAT DUD's

All of them pathetic

[mwooldri]

20. I really hope Heather dates and marries someone in the Army.

Or even the National Guard. Someone who is about to do a tour of Iraq.

She says she wants to marry a military person... so perhaps she should. Perhaps that could put her political views into some sense of reality.

Mark.

[Dr. Death]

18. That's a man, baby! (Woman #3, the supposed horny widow)

And Conservative Warrior guy looks like the Moran guy's brother.

[mwooldri]

19. Hannidate is real popular.. I'm not kiddin'!

Here, I live in the south, there should be lots of people wanting to find a conservative date, eh?

So... let's enter my zipcode (27405), and let's say I'm willing to travel 500 miles and I'm willing to date anyone between 18 and 65.

Result? "No profiles have been found for your query. Please try again."

Apparently there's not that many women in a 500 mile radius of Greensboro, NC wanting to date conservative men of my age.

Bummer.

Well... didn't matter anyway... I'm married, and I'm not available. Shouldn't even be window shopping :spank:

My wife Bobbie and I have got an agreement: She says I can see other women as long as she doesn't find out. I told her I'll only go out with other women if I have her permission and she knows who it is. It's worked really well so far.

Mark.

PS But if I was available and if Candice was into me, I'd date her on looks alone. She'd soon see what reality is, and if she was really into God the same way I am, she'd be liberated big time. No more listening to Rush or Hannity for her.

Mark.

[texas1928]

22. The two guys are looking for women that are 18 to 25.

Am I the only one who finds that creepy?

[Catshrink]

24. This is the only date Hannity would get:

[XemaSab]

27. The profile of our friend at the bottom

Says he's "separated" and doesn't drink alcohol. :P

I gotta say, this shit's pure fuckin' comedy... good times, good times...

[Placebo]

30. And these people say GAY marriage is unnatural.

*shakes head*

[kiraboo]

36. That cracked me up!

Dude with the sparse teeth... wants to reproduce... oh my...

[Deep13]

34. I think I know why they're single.

x(

[Orsino]

37. Interesting common denominator: the Republican sense of entitlement.

Not for dear Heather, to be fair.

[LaraMN]

38. Omg!

All I can do is :rofl: Is that last dude some kind of campground pirate?

[Monk06]

47. You said campground pirate !!!!! Arrr matey, have you ever bin ta sea?

Have you ever tasted salty seamen?

[madrchsod]

41. candice will do a guy up to 40 yrs old

and the 46yr old says she looks hot in her stars and stripes bikini...my head hurts

[jmowreader]

42. Candace is kinda cute...

but the "I want to be barefoot and pregnant" thing is a deal-stopper for me.

Oh, and Candace? Get thee to a salon and have your brows done!

[steely]

43. Don't forget to stop the "dating music".

It's driving me nuts.

[Dangerously Amused]

44. The Hummer cap guy is excellent satire...

...IMO, having read his profile, which includes:


"Tall and Burly best describes me. Manly and Professional are
also accurate. I dress Armani for weekdays at the Office and
Designer Jumpsuits- with optional codpiece, on the Weekend.
I have a healthy bank account and the ability to go at least
10 minutes nonstop in a bedroom workout, if you follow."

I venture to guess the teeth are also fake...


Either way, though...


:rofl:

[Fox Mulder]

45. What the fuck is the point of drinking N/A beverages?

RE Candice:

Drinking: Non-alcoholic beverages only

I never did understand the point of N/A beverages. :shrug:

Those people need help. Many, many years of help.