Has anybody ever dated outside of their culture...

[jadedconformist]

...and found it to be difficult? I met this Russian girl and I feel that we have really connected in a way I've never experienced before. We also write e-mails to each other on a consistent basis, and her English is pretty decent, but when I write her I find myself rewording things just in case she wouldn't understand what I was saying. (I'm sure she does understand everything I'm saying, so perhaps I'm just assuming). She is EXTREMELY beautiful (I'd post pictures, but you guys would try to steal her from me) and very sweet. She has really made me rediscover the romantic side of myself that has laid dormant for so many years. She honestly brings out the best in me. I just wonder if it would be difficult to mesh with her and be accepted by her family if somehow I get culture shock. I am very sure it is possible but I would love to hear any success stories, if any. I really think she might be the one, so I wouldn't let our cultural differences get in the way. I'd love to celebrate that and learn more about her. I'm sure our backgrounds are just a minor hurdle in the scheme of things, but has anybody had any success dating a woman with a similar situation?

[Bucky]

1. Yep. Lived with an Iranian-born Armenian girl for two years.

Communication of ideas was sometimes an amusing misadventure--English was her fourth language. But when the heart trusts, a few mispoken words are manageable. We probably would've stayed together longer, but I was too young and stupid to understand establishing ground rules, placing a primacy on listening. Overall, two very happy years. Every relationship has its challenges. Crossing cultures is easier to label and a LOT more fun to navigate than most communication issues.

Good luck.

[Floogeldy]

2. Need more facts.

How old are you and what culture are you from? :)

[jadedconformist]

3. Re: Need more facts.

I'm part of the Hispanic population that is apparently going to eventually take over the world withing the next few decades. :sarcasm: I have been in America all of my life though. Of course we still have our Hispanic culture in our family; parents speak Spanish, eat the traditional food of our culture, but we're still fairly "Americanized in a way". So it's at least double case of culture shock. I guess my biggest concern isn't her Meshing with my family, because I know that they'd be accepting since our family has been in this country for at least three decades, and hers maybe just for one. I have never been in this situation so I must sound very naive, so that's why I'm asking you guys.

[Floogeldy]

4. Take a chance, Bro.

Arrange to meet her - - - no commitments, yet. ;)

[jadedconformist]

7. She lives in Atlanta..

And I may move there soon; I can't say because of her, but that does have something to do with it. My family has been begging me to move closer to them for years. The extra incentive of a gorgeous girl living in ATL who is into me doesn't hurt either. I AM going to take a chance. I don't want to be on a rocking chair 50 years from now dreaming about that girl, Tatiana, and what could have been. You're right. Atlanta; here I come! :woohoo:

Wish me luck.

[Broken_Hero]

16. I agree, take an effing chance, and go for it...n/t

[speedoo]

6. I had a relationship with a woman from another culture.

We had too many differences to make it work. She was much younger than me and had children. Those issues made it very tough. I think the cultural differences can actually add to a relationship if the parties work at it and respect what they can learn from one another.

One thing I would caution you about: Here in NYC there are many, many russian women who are looking for Americans to marry in order to get green cards. (actually the same goes for asian women, hispanic women and other european women). I won't say anything more.

[jadedconformist]

8. Re: I had a relationship with a woman from another culture.

I guess my question of whether or not it would work is really dependent upon a conglomeration of factors rather than just the "cultural difference" factor. Differences of views; politics, religion, personalities. I don't know if anybody can simply point at the cultural differences as being the main reason for it not working. Maybe they can, I don't know. I don't know a lot of things! That's why I'm coming to you knowledgeable DUers.

As far as the green card goes; if you saw her..believe me, she could get a just about any guy if she wanted to. And to be honest, I haven't asked her about her citizenship status. For all I know she may be legal. I don't want to assume anything.

[speedoo]

18. By the way, it seems to me that russian women...

and eastern european women in general are gifted with great beauty more than western and northern european women are. But it could just be my perception. It just seems that the most beautiful caucasian women I meet here in NYC are almost always russian, polish, czech, lithuanian, etc.

So it does not surprise me at all when you say your girl is beautiful.

Best of luck to you.

[jadedconformist]

26. I agree

Drop dead, gorgeous. Great heart to match. Doesn't have the Diva-like mindset of most Western women. I think a lot of women in this country think self-respect and hubris are the same thing.

[FreakinDJ]

5. I found my wife in the Philippines

A really great woman and yep were still in love.

It takes many months to know if she is the right one or being true, but on the other hand these relationships can be much better then traditional dating because for so many months or even years there is no sex involved.

our storey

http://www.hinigugma.com/filipina-love-story.htm

[jadedconformist]

9. That's a great story

Thanks for that.

[Blue_Tires]

30. that is a good story

glad to see you've found someone and are very happy

[Blue_Tires]

10. 1. welcome to the site!

2. post her photo!

[jadedconformist]

12. Re: post her photo!

Thanks for the welcome! :toast: Now, about the photo. Hmm. I don't know if I'd like my future wife's photo all over the internet for you boys to "drool" on. Jeez. Believe me. She's beautiful.

[ZombieNixon]

11. Out of curiosity...

I see you have a donor star. Did you post the mysterious "pink stickie?"

"I can't stop thinking about her. I think she's the one."

Welcome to DU and good luck! :hi:

[jadedconformist]

13. You are correct

Guilty as charged. Damn star gave me away. :loveya:

[ZombieNixon]

14. I win!

:bounce: :party:

Now I can go claim my prize in LeftyMom's thread! :D

[swag]

15. If only I had a culture outside of which to date.

on edit: sounds great. Enjoy the romance, be it short, intermediate, or long-term.

[GirlinContempt]

31. !!

[XemaSab]

17. I'm a middle class white girl

And I dated a poor Hispanic dude for a few months and it was wierd. I think a lot of why we broke up is because we had very little in common culturally.

[MissHoneychurch]

19. Yes, my bf is Jamaican

who lives in London. I am a German in Germany. So yes, there are cultural differences. But I believe that if it is the right person cultural differences aren't that important. The person itself and how you get along with her/him is more important.

[tjwmason]

20. Welcome to D.U.

:hi:

I started to once, his ethnic back-ground was Indian (as in India, not as in Amerindians) but his family had moved to the West Indies before he was born (back when it was all part of the British Empire), and he'd moved to England a couple of years previously. We weren't going to get on long-term, and culture had nothing to do with it. Apart from his gorgeous accent, and stunning looks we didn't have time to see whether cultural differences would have been an issue.

[Sisaruus]

21. I've experienced significant cultural differences

I'm a woman. I've dated men. 'Nuff said.

[AccessGranted]

22. We Are Engaged and Happy

He's white of Irish Descent and I'm African American. He's a theology teacher and I'm an agnostic. He grew up in a housing projects and I grew up in an affluent suburb. We've been together for four years now. Hey, it worked out. We're happy. Who knew! And guess what? We met in a chatroom. Life is funny like that. I've always been open-minded and so has he. Never mattered what color somebody was or their ethnic background. We both take people at face value for who they are. We've both previously dated outside our race once before. Do we have cultural conflicts? Yeah, but whatever. Love is colorless, has no ethnicity and is uncontrollable. I think people should be with whoever they want no matter who is what and what is who.

[kwassa]

24. sounds like me and my wife

though we are both products of the middle class. We also met online.

Culturally, the overlay is American culture, as the differences between African-American and white American culture are pretty minor, in my opinion. We all be 'Muricans.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

23. Are we talking mail-order brides from Chechnya here?

:shrug:

[xmas74]

25. I've dated a Russian.

He's the one that got away.

That's one of the few things I'd consider changing the past over-the chance to be with him again.

No culture hurdle at all, just time and age. I was young and dumb and thought he'd wait.

[Haole Girl]

27. As a close friend of mine once told me:

Yes, I took the UN tour! :) (what can I say, I was in my 20's)

[Crazy Dave]

28. I had two German girlfriends

The first spoke good english, the second none. No problems communicating with the second gf at all and after about two months we were doing very well in getting our messages across to each other. Just don't say the word "foot" pronounced in english to a German person.

[Benfea]

29. I'm multiracial, so everything is technically "outside my culture" :) -NT

[rug]

32. I once shared a bus with a Republican.

[GirlinContempt]

33. Two sisters:

One is a typical story of upper class white girl meets dark skinned wrong side of the tracks boy. 4 years they've been together.

However, my older sister has been dating an Indian fellow for about a year now. His parents are super incredibly traditional, and for a long time refused to admit she existed and tried to ship him off to India to meet a 'nice girl'. It doesn't help that my sister is older than him by about 4 or 5 years, is a lawyer, and really career-focused. However, she went into meeting his parents (once they finally agreed to it) with an open mind, and while they're totally different, they get along just fine. They aren't best buddies, but they certainly don't hate each other. She's tried very hard to accept his families differences and traditions, and when he came here to meet our family, he was great. I could see how she'd feel awkward around his family, but she just gave it her best shot, and things seem to be working out.