Are bars even useful as pick-up joints?

[Deja Q]

They used to be, maybe in 1986. But these days people go there with friends just to dance or watch really lame stage shows.

What happened? :shrug:

[bigwillq]

1. I've met guys at bars.

I met my b/f at a club.
And the two b/fs before that were at clubs.
I also picked up a few just for a quick fling at a bar.
It happens.
Ain't nothing wrong with it.

[Deja Q]

2. I'm not disagreeing with you...

I've been to bars almost every weekend (Friday + Saturday) for over a year. Apart from a 3 month 'relationship' with a guy who had issues like I had mine and neither of us liked the other's issues, I've had one fling.

Given the reputation bars have, I am quite below average...

And given the state of my health (I think the spinal cord isn't healing; some signs suggests it's worsened...), I no longer care about a life partner. I don't think I have the time. I just want to enjoy what's left... because most of my life has been anything but enjoyment. Been hell. (at least the end is near. :D Or that's how it feels.)

[bigwillq]

5. Depends on the person

From some of your other posts, it seems like you are shy, an introvert and at bars you seem more likely to be a wallflower. No disrespect. I am just making that assumption from what I read in your other threads. Some people are like that. I don't have any advice to tell you how not to be like that.

I am very out-going and will talk to anyone that listens in bars. That's just the way I am. Sometimes I go on and on..and I can't shut up. I've never had a problem being comfortable around people.
So bars work for me.

They don't work for all people and there's no shame if they don't work for you.


Good luck to you. And stop saying things like "the end is near"

Oh yeah--that's another thing. Self-confidence is another big thing. Think positively.

[HEyHEY]

3. Of course they are

Dude, you're going to some shitty bars methinks

[Deja Q]

4. That and my timid lemur persona...

kinda hard to meet people.

I know of a place in Minneapolis, but the news the other day had shown the area where a person was recently murdered. That's ~2 blocks away from the bar I'm thinking of.

[Blue-Jay]

6. Join a band.

Meeting people is easy when you're in the band. (and by "meeting" I really mean "fucking")

[Hissyspit]

7. you have to be able to sing or play an instrument

at even some basic level

[kiraboo]

8. I've been out to the bar a couple of times recently, single-ish

for the first time in years. I'm not looking, but if I were there was no shortage of interested men. I was surprised! The thing is, you can meet people at bars, but your judgement might be impaired. Still, it's a fun place if your confidence needs a boost (and mine does :) )