And now it's time for "Ask a Gwar Fan".

[CanuckAmok]

Wherein you post your questions/problems/concerns, and I, a Gwar fan, respond with the most appropriate advice.

So... who's first?

[Blue-Jay]

1. Which brains taste best?

monkey or kitty?

[CanuckAmok]

2. ...

Rock and roll--Dyn-O-Mite!!!!
Party all day....Party all nite!!!
Hey there girl--Do you like my big
dick? Hey there baby--suck it!!!
Til it gets real thick!
Rock and roll, party town. Rock and
roll, gonna pary down!!

[Blue-Jay]

3. Is that...

monkey dick or kitty dick?

[CanuckAmok]

4. ...

I can't comprehend on how you get your thrills
in dicing up worms and making love to road-
kills. The decadence of your lives was just as
clear a glass--Now it's broken into shards
I can shove into your ass!!

[GirlinContempt]

5. Man, the last Gwar show was awesome. My question is

Why is GWAR so awesome?

[CanuckAmok]

10. ...

He tried and fried until the rusted
hinges sighed, and then he stepped
inside! He found her there, swimming
in her seaweed hair, looking vaguely
like a lover who has hung herself with
underwear.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

6. Who makes the best mallets and hatchets?

:shrug:

[CanuckAmok]

8. I saw Yig. Yig saw me. n/t

[SlavesandBulldozers]

7. How do you hide money from a hippy?

[CanuckAmok]

9. Put it under the soap!

[SlavesandBulldozers]

16. hahaha

}(

[LostInAnomie]

11. How many sex slaves is it appropriate for one man to own?

[CanuckAmok]

13. ...

I have come as a feral thing, clutching at your bloated underbelly
Let the agony, of the is to be
Be the shrieks, the warnings of the death screams
Pummeling the wretched, crushing the defiler
Pummeling the wretched-aye!
Slay them all let them come, let them come, let them come
They've come for
Meat Sandwich (crucify)

[LostInAnomie]

15. Word! I'm hearing that shit!

[swag]

12. How could one kill Gwar?

And which member of Gwar is getting married in Washington, DC in June?

[CanuckAmok]

14. ...

Parasitical scum, you die so easily
But you always have sickened me
Your will enslaved, you grovel for more
Soon your bowels will litter the floor
Cannibalistic depravity
Bereft of all humanity
A fitting feast of abject insanity
A dark curtain before last calamity
There is but one way to give the egg life
Murder the innocent souls
Their fluids project as their nipples are flayed
Their skulls are fashioned into bowls
You masses of humans are gagging in glee
Now you gape but soon you'll be here with me
If you're really lucky
I'll vomit on thee
I'll shit in your stump and then bathe you in pee
Sunder your forms with my withering hacks
Mash up your face with my gauntleted smacks
Now bring me dead babies let their be no lack
I got a bunch of them here in my sack
I slaughtered your daughters,
I mangled your sons
If we kill enough of them the Gor-Gor will come
The end of your race,
we approach the hour Gor-Gor will get a blood-red baby shower
We bathe him in death to celebrate life I'll be the doctor and
Beef the midwife
But it takes so long, how can I cut slack
Shoot that fucker up with some crack Gor-Gor see him now inside the egg
Please come out, Gor-Gor of you I beg Will he be a happy child?
Maybe Most likely he'll be a crack-baby
We infected his being with evil drugs
So he would grow up and be a thug
Destroy the planet, the world he will mug
The human race will die and we will just shrug

[swimboy]

17. HA! They're from Richmond.

I used to catch the bus in front of the Slave Pit.

[meegbear]

18. Does this make me look fat?

[BigMcLargehuge]

19. Dear Oderous Urungus (CanuckAmok)

Hey man, you remember me? I remember you.
I was the guy with the grizzled face
and the lousy weed and the really bad tattoo
now I'm getting twenty-to-life for killing the guy
who was humping my wife and
I thought I'd write a letter to you...

Scallop boat, yeah baby
Scallop boat, I.V. coke yeah baby
I.V. coke on the scallop, on the scallop boat

I used to work on a scallop boat
I made some money there
I used to do the I.V. Coke I lost my money there

Scallop boat, yeah baby
Scallop boat, I.V. coke yeah baby
I.V. coke on the scallop, on the scallop boat

Now I'm in jail and I do as I'm able
got caught smoking crack
so they cut of my cable
could you maybe come by and bust me outa here?

But there's one thing that I don't understand
I thought the South Pole was the home of the band
do you just, keep your slaves in Richmond?

[DS1]

20. What is Blank Unt Huge about?

:shrug: