Why do wackos always want to be my bestest friend?

[GirlinContempt]

So, I'm waiting for the bus so I can go pick up my cheque, when this weird guy walks up to me and says "Right, girlie, when does the bus come?" and I say "12:30", he says "Thanks old gal" and then proceeds to tell me about how he's going down to look for a receipt he lost in some mall yesterday so he can return some t-shirt because he took it home and realize it had 'secret messages' encoded in the design.

I am for serious.

I go get my cheque, and then stop in at the comic store. My brothers birthday is tomorrow, and I wanted to get him a Kiss comic (inside joke). So, I find the comic and I'm browsing when this woman walks up to me and asks me if I'm a rhinologist (sp?). When I tell her that in fact, no, I am not, she proceeds to talk at me for the next 20 minutes. Some topics included:
Every time I look at you I think of rhinologists. And I need one to save my life.
I'm allergic to comic books so I have to read them with gloves.
If I could find a rhinologist I could live forever. Forever.
Theres an immortal bachelor you know, I did my research on it for years. But you'll never find him. He's a secret.
My favorite comics are conan but I only read the ones with the ladies bending over.
Are you SURE you're not a rhinologist? If you aren't a rhinologist I'll die.

I managed to still find a Green Lantern comic, the Kiss comic, a Heroes and Villains of DC comics poster, and a Defenders of the Galaxy poster, all for really incredibly embarrassingly cheap though, despite my distractions.

I then went to the Dr's office, but the lab tech wasn't there so I had to occupy myself for 20 mins. As I'm walking down the street, a pan handler asks me for a quarter. I did not have a quarter, but I offered him a loonie ($1 coin), the only change I had. He refused to take it and begged me to go make change so he could have a quarter. He would take all FOUR quarters, but not the loonie.

After going back to the Dr's and finishing up there, I had to pick up some groceries. As I was leaving I saw an elderly woman struggling with her bags, so I offered to help her. She accepted and I walked her to her car, where she then wanted to pay me in orange slices. She would not take no for an answer. She dug through her shopping bags, found an orange, peeled it, with painstaking care, and then sloooooooooooooowly removed three sections and gave them to me.



I swear, it must be my green lantern hoodie. It attracts these weirdos somehow. Must be an encoded message.

[In_The_Wind]

1. Because you're sooo cool!

:yourock:

[billyskank]

6. This is quite true

:bounce:

[GirlinContempt]

21. So, how can I be uncool & left alone?

:D

[billyskank]

28. That's a tough one. You see, you are their God

:P

[In_The_Wind]

57. Have very deep conversations with yourself.

But only when you feel the need of a moat or someone with a Blackbelt to keep the true crazies away.

[progmom]

2. this is the best post i have ever read.

:hug:

[ghostsofgiants]

7. I'll second that.

[GirlinContempt]

22. You're the best post I ever read

:loveya: :hug:

[billyskank]

3. I don't know but I got the same thing

In public, if there's a wierdo about, or some hard-luck case, or somebody that wants something, or whatever, they always choose me.

Maybe I got a friendly face or something... :shrug:


:hi:

[billyskank]

10. Well, okay, maybe not the same as THAT

I think if I were with you in public, your gravitational pull would suck all the wierdos away from me. :crazy:

[progmom]

13. you talking to yourself?

WEIRDO!

[billyskank]

16. Must be why you like me

:P

[progmom]

32. one of many many reasons

:loveya:

[billyskank]

35. ...

:hug:

[GirlinContempt]

23. It's a gift

:P

[ghostsofgiants]

4. I think I might be the immortal bachelor.

Also: I wish my day was that bizarrely amusing.

[billyskank]

12. How old are you?

:hi:

[ghostsofgiants]

15. 21, but I don't look a day over 16.

It's been like that since I was 2.

[billyskank]

17. Yep, you definitely sound immortal to me

You could make it your mission to insult everybody in the world. :thumbsup:

[ghostsofgiants]

19. COULD?

That's been my mission since I was 8, you twat. :P

[billyskank]

20. Was it my turn or was that a special?

:bounce:

[ghostsofgiants]

25. Haha, I deal with it on a case by case basis.

If I encounter someone I haven't insulted yet, I do so.

[ZombieNixon]

39. You looked like you were 16 when you were 2?

:scared:

[ghostsofgiants]

40. Hence my belief that I am immortal.

The bachelor part comes from lots and lots of experience in being single. x(

[ZombieNixon]

44. So, umm...do you have any baby pics?

:scared:

Yeah, once again, I am a bachelor. Immortal, I don't know, because since the age of 14, I've had people mistake me for as much as seven years older than I really am. :o

But, yeah, the bachelor part...x(

[ghostsofgiants]

46. Here's me at 3...

[ZombieNixon]

47. Real absorbed in Sesame Street there, aren'cha?

:7

[ghostsofgiants]

48. It was a Guy Smiley episode.

[GirlinContempt]

24. Hang out with me more

and it will be.

Actually maybe not. They usually leave me alone when I travel in a pack

[ghostsofgiants]

34. Worth a shot at least.

[Richardo]

5. You never return my calls!

:cry:

[progmom]

8. maybe that's a compliment

you're obviously not weird enough.

are YOU a rhinologist?

[GirlinContempt]

26. *hide*

*shake*

[Magrittes Pipe]

9. You're shiny like the car.

How was doctor? Did he give you a lolly? :bounce:

[GirlinContempt]

27. No, he gave me bruises

:P

[Mutley]

11. The same damn sort of thing happens to me.

Except I don't find out how crazy they are until years after I've already been friends... or whatever.. with them. x( :banghead:

[GirlinContempt]

29. At least my freakatrons are upfront with their rediculosity

[Mutley]

36. You're so lucky.

:P

[WCGreen]

14. Green Lantern Hoodie....

Well, I grew up on the GL GA Neil Adams stories in the early 70's....

And as far as the other stuff goes, see my sig line....

[GirlinContempt]

31. Green Lantern rules

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

38. Which of them? All of them? Some of them? Just the Corps as a whole?

Me, I liked Duck Dodger's brief stint.

[GirlinContempt]

41. I like most of them, and I did really like Jordan

[WCGreen]

86. Hal Jordan....

Test Pilot....

He use to team up with Barry Allen, the 60's Flash, a lot before he hooked up with the Arrow....

[hfojvt]

42. no, just Sinestro, and, of course,

Guy Gardner.

[tigereye]

94. for some reason he was always my favorite

I always thought it was some symbolic thing...

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[GirlinContempt]

30. Charming

[progmom]

37. you should read the whole post

it's funny. :)

[Thtwudbeme]

58. I actually did.

I guess I really can't say anything anymore-

[progmom]

61. I just thought it was a really funny slice of life

And a surreal afternoon for GiC.

When I used to work in a record store in downtown Ann Arbor, I ran into a lot more interesting people.

[GirlinContempt]

63. If anything is "I didn't read the post"

when you did, I guess you can't?

[skygazer]

33. Serious answer?

Because you're approachable. You treat people like people. You offer to help. You don't make fun of them (to their face). You don't say rude things and tell them to get lost.

They speak to you and you actually respond - people like that are used to being ignored or ridiculed. You give them a moment to actually feel like someone gives a shit. It sucks for you because you end up trapped. But you've probably made their day and given them a small bit of warmth that they need.

[GirlinContempt]

43. Possible

But how do they know that before having ever approached me? :cry:
I don't mind helping people out but YEESH

[skygazer]

45. Oh, they approach other people too

And those people ignore them, speed up and hurry away, say something rude and "funny", ridicule them, bait them, curse them.

Honestly, I'm uncomfortable getting buttonholed by those people, too (and I do) but I sure feel a lot of compassion for them. It must be a tough life to live.

Sorry for being serious in what is obviously a fun thread, btw.

[GirlinContempt]

49. Dont be sorry

:)

[hfojvt]

50. I had the opposite theory, for myself

as a loner/xenophobe I think I probably send off "leave me alone" vibes. Most decent people read those vibes and comply. Nuttier people are in their own orbit and could care less about my desires or vibes, and pushier people or a$$holes think of themselves first and will approach/use anybody. Thus my interactions with the general public tend to reinforce my desire to be alone.
Actually, GiC with about a brazillian piercings is clearly a fellow member of the outkasts/rebels. Plus, she really does look like a phrenologist. Wait, what was that word again?

[GirlinContempt]

51. two = brazillian?

I'm an out'k'ast or a 'rebel'?

EDIT:
What does a Phrenologist look like? I assumed she meant rhinologist because she then talked about allergies.....

[ghostsofgiants]

53. Are you Andre 3000 or Big Boi?

[GirlinContempt]

54. I must be

[ghostsofgiants]

55. ASWER THE QUESTION!

(I meant which one are you.)

[GirlinContempt]

56. Chowdahead

[hfojvt]

60. my bad, two is the norm for the 80s

one for each ear.

I knew phrenologist was not the right word. Couldn't see the OP or remember rhinologist. Whatever they look like it's gotta be better than looking like Steve Nash.

[GirlinContempt]

66. I don't count ear peircings

And even the stretch from four to a brazillian is a little far for my arms :P

How do piercings make someone an out'k'ast though? I thought he was a really terrible rapper who never wears a shirt.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

89. Beautiful response.

I'm proud to be a weirdo magnet!

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

52. All those whackos were the same person--Eddie Murphy.

Once he puts on that movie makeup, he can become any character. He's so good.

[GirlinContempt]

64. It's all making sense to me now

[Sugar Smack]

59. OMG- You and I are wearing the same cologne; it's called "Mark".

Cue up "Carmina Burana":

We fade into a black and blue side street with white steam coming from the pavement. A lone taxicab travels noiselessly thru the thick fog. A *fine* silhouette of a girl in a Green Lantern Jacket is minding her own business.

Voice-over: "Tired of walking from point A to point B without interruptions and intrusion? Sick of the sound of your own thoughts and plans? Splash a little "Mark" behind each ear."

Lantern Girl pauses to check her watch. She digs "Mark" out of her pocket. Sniffs the bottle and winces. Then she shrugs. Applies it. Flash effects of "woodwork" and "Wackos" coming out of it. Wackos hoist Lantern girl upon their shoulders and carry her to the laundromat nearby.

Voice-over: "You'll never be alone with a little "Mark" on you".

:D

[GirlinContempt]

62. I *love* you, Sugar

:D

[Sugar Smack]

65. Thanks for being my wacko-magnet-babe-in-arms.

:D :D :yourock:

[GirlinContempt]

67. Oh dear lord

What's gonna happen when you come visit?!

:hide:

[Sugar Smack]

68. Easy. We'll cancel each other out.

We'll have nnns as the testerone-y chemical imbalance. We'll also scare everyone. And we'll wear spittoons around our necks so nobody gets any funny ideas about any monkey business.

[GirlinContempt]

71. Sign me up!

[Sequoia]

69. That's pretty funny. Are you in Canada?

[GirlinContempt]

70. Yes. I'm a Canadian

[Canadian Socialist]

72. You're BETTER than a Canadian!

You're a Winnipegger! :toast:

[GirlinContempt]

73. Who's Torontonian sisters are coming for a birthday visit

ewwwwwwwwwww toronto ;)

[Sequoia]

96. Cool !

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=&imgrefurl=http://renandstimpy.org/episodes.php%3Fid%3D218&h=240&w=320&sz=19&tbnid=igmgGJDoPKmFUM:&tbnh=84&tbnw=113&hl=en&start=5&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dren%2Band%2Bstimpy%2Bcanadian%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DX

[madrchsod]

74. cause everyone in the world loves

just being around you. your mere presences brings joy to those who are without joy and you bring hope to those who see their life as hopeless...or it is the green hoodie...

oh you`re canadian that explains everything

[GirlinContempt]

75. Given those two options

I'd say green hoodie.

[Redstone]

76. Jeez, you REALLY have it bad.

Thought I attracted the whacknuts when I was younger, and I did, but never quite like you.

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe if you reply to them in a language other than english, they'd go away? Nah, probably not; it's not like they're listening to anything besides the voices in their heads.

I think maybe you should just stay home.

Redstone

[GirlinContempt]

80. I just need to form a posse

Large groups scare them off :)

[kwassa]

77. Sounds like an early Bob Dylan song

like this one

http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/115dream.html

[GirlinContempt]

81. hah

[Major Hogwash]

78. This is hilarious.

But, I admit I don't know what a green lantern hoodie is.

Is that an inside joke only comic book readers would know about?

[GirlinContempt]

79. Not a joke,

It's a hoodie (hooded sweatshirt) with the green lantern logo on the front:



That is actually the one I own

[Sugar Smack]

82. Freak.

:rofl: :loveya:

[GirlinContempt]

83. I'll let you touch it

;)

[Sugar Smack]

84. *ooooh, soft!*

Pretty, too! Geeze.:D

[Major Hogwash]

93. Oh, that is the coolest hoodie I ever saw! Thanks!

I got to get me one of those!

[tigereye]

95. that is very cool.

if it's any consolation, they always approach me too. But then, I always thought it was either that they knew I would listen, I made eye contact(albeit briefly) or they knew somehow that I was a shrink. ;)

[BikeWriter]

85. Are you SURE you're not a rhinologist?

[bridgit]

87. heehee, wacko specific rhino-secretionary product placement...

http://www.oxiclean.com/products.asp?MainNav=Products&source=adwords-oxyclean :thumbsup:

[Random_Australian]

88. I like parsley. Will you be my friend? What's a rhinologist?

Do they like concrete?

[GirlinContempt]

91. AHHHH!

[NewWaveChick1981]

90. My sister used to be the biggest creep and/or weirdo magnet...

...and I think it was because of the way she dressed. I remember several times in the early- to mid-80s, she had on clothes that would have been considered "punk" at the time. There were times we were just walking down the street talking, and some bizarre guy with obvious mental issues would come up and start talking to her, like I didn't exist. She took a Greyhound bus (gasp! :puke: ) to see her boyfriend one time and had to sit beside a guy who thought he was Jesus.

I dressed "normal" at times and "New Wave" at others (hence my user ID!) during that same time period and never had that problem. Go figure.

[GirlinContempt]

92. I feel your sisters pain

;)