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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:06 PM
Original message
Have you ever contacted someone from your past, and if so,
did you regret it? Was it a good thing?

Just curious. :)

(In case YOU'RE curious, yes, I have, and I don't regret it at all, although at times it has been frustrating.)
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. No..but one contacted ME.. It was freaky and scary
:(
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I'm sure it could be freaky...
It depends on how you and they left things, and it also depends on if the person is mentally stable. Sorry that happened to you.
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. He threatened to come to my house
and my sons were 3,4 & 9.. I could just hear them mentioning to Daddy, that some guy came to see Mom..

I broke an engagement to him, and let's just say he did not take it well..and out of the blue he called me after 13 years.. Said he was going to be in S Calif on business and said we had "unfinished business"..

I asked how he got my number.. My MOTHER gave it to him.. Her reason? "He sounded nice on the phone, and she thought he had 'changed'.."..

Thankfully, he was just yanking my chain, and a few days later he called and sort of apologized.. We actually chatted a bit and it's really odd how things turned out.. He has 3 daughters, and he married exactly one year after I did, and at one time, if my husband had accepted a job offer, we would have ended up IN THE SAME TOWN (Santa Marta)..(oh..his wife's name is almost the same as mine, which is ODD, because I have a very different name)

We never spoke again..
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. That's too weird!
I'm glad it turned out ok. It could have been much worse, and I'm glad it wasn't. :)

Don't you really hate it when parents make assumptions and give your personal information to people who shouldn't have it? :grr: That happened (albeit not on the same scale as yours, thankfully!) to my husband---even after he explicitly stated that they should not give ANYONE that information, they gave it to several people, which resulted in annoying phone calls from them. That's why we have an unlisted number. :eyes:
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #3
32. TV Movie!!!!!!
seriously, start working on that screenplay, before i steal it!
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 06:48 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. Take it.. It's got PTSD in it..& guns..abuse..vandalism..car theft
You name it..
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
4. Yes I did - both good and bad results
Ran into people:shrug:
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Thanks!
You never know what to expect when you get in touch with people after a long time.
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. I'll tell you about a pleasant one...
I got in touch with a few college mates from a school I had a really bad time at. These people were pleasantly surprised when I got a hold of them and their niceness helped put the negative experience behind me. :-)
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. That's cool!
I'm glad it turned out well. :)
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. There are a few nasty ones that I'll keep to myself.
They were NOT pleasant at all. :mad:
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. Yeah, on the internet...
Several...

Can't say I have any regrets, but it's been weird to see how people have changed.... Some, not for the better. Or maybe I just didn't see it in them when I knew them... or maybe I've changed so much that it just seems like they've changed? I don't know... but it was kind of upsetting to see how a couple of people in particular that I thought were just awesome in school ended up being fundies. Oh well, doesn't make them bad people. I just don't understand how it ended up that way! Lol.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Yeah, it can be really odd...
...The one I contacted had changed somewhat, but that person is still basically the same. I didn't know what to expect, but I just wanted to say hi and see how they were. That person had meant a great deal to me.

There are a couple of HS friends that have turned into raging fundies too. :( I can't for the life of me understand it---they were pretty liberal in HS.
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
9. someone contacted me
i did not appreciate it
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. That's one problem about looking someone up
after a long time. It's relatively easy to find people through the 'net, but not everyone wants to be found. Sorry about that.
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catmandu57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
10. I have through the classmates site
I found a friend I had gone to highschool with many years ago, we see each other a couple of times a year. My wife just loves his wife, they're supposed to come up soon for pizza.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
16. Glad it worked out so well!
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
13. Yes, but I have to admit...
when I first read this thread, I thought it said, "Have you ever contacted someone from your past life?, and I couldn't believe all the "yes" answers!

I don't regret contacting the person I contacted, but it was so anti-climactic that it would have been better to have left the past in the past and my memories of it intact.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Past life? LOL!
Seriously, I'm sorry things didn't turn out to be great. As I said earlier, you never know what to expect.
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
17. I contacted my high school boyfriend
Edited on Fri Apr-28-06 03:32 PM by Blue_In_AK
in 2000 who I hadn't seen since 1967, and now we're happily married, so, yes, it was a good thing. Also last year I tracked down my best old hippie girlfriend from 1968-1975 on the internet and met up with her when we were in San Francisco in April last year. It was wonderful seeing her -- we picked up right where we left off. She hadn't changed a bit, still as radical as ever, God love her.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. That's a great story!
I'm so happy for you. :)
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
18. Yes, an old flame from the early 1970s came back into town...
She regrets her decision to leave, as much as I once did. We get along very well, but I've kept things plutonic this time.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. The ol' "once burned, twice careful" bit?
Probably a wise idea. :)
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. I've been burned every time, eventually. I used to pick up...
with the next one. I averaged ten years with each of three wives. This time I've avoided serious physical involvement and commitment.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. Sounds like a good idea.
Getting burned that many times can be hazardous to your emotional health. :hug:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. No doubt. I'm being treated for PTSD and depression, so...
I'm limiting the love life to old fashioned snuggling.
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Lance_Boyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #18
28. Nice
assuming by "plutonic" you mean "cold and distant." ;-)

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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Hee hee hee! We haven't ripped any bed sheets recently...
We do go out to eat, and to see her kids. Her oldest Son asked her a while back, "You really chose 'insert name here' over him?" He found it difficult to believe. ;-)
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
21. I contacted my favorite ex-husband
a few years ago (we were MUCH better friends than anything else) after not hearing from him for quite some time. I'm really glad I did because less than a year later he was dead from a malignant brain tumor. I got to say goodbye.

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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. Wow!
I'm glad you were able to say goodbye. You were very lucky.
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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 03:29 PM
Response to Original message
25. I was contacted by a friend
I hadn't seen or heard from since 5th grade (granted, I'm only in my freshman year of college, but hey, whatever :)). She moved out of the state, her parents went through a messy divorce, and we fell out of touch. Last fall, though, she contacted me through e-mail (still don't know where she got it), and we've been IM-ing ever since. It's been great to catch up with her and hear what she's been up to these past eight years.

She's still got family here, and so still comes into town occasionally, but we've been unable to coordinate our schedules. We're still hoping to have a RL meeting eventually, though.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
30. I tried to contact an old high school friend via the internet...
I'd read that her mom passed away; then not long after, her father. We caught up a little through emails; then I asked her if she'd like to meet for lunch sometime, since we don't live far from each other.
But I didn't hear from her again. Maybe her computer broke down. Or maybe she feared that I might not be the person I said I was...

At any rate, I hope I'll see her at some point, and get a chance to talk with her again.
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
31. Yes I did....
It was kinda OK.

We were together for about six months. And he beat the living hell out of me. 7 hospital visits.

And we talked. And he apologized. Profusely. I wasn't even wanting an apology. I just wanted an answer to "why?".

But I got both. And it was OK. For the first time I was able to forgive him. And it eased my soul -and that made it worthwhile.

It wasn't an easy conversation.... but at least I no longer hate him. And we've talked since and are beginning to establish a sort of friendship.

Khash.
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Broken_Hero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
33. Yes, and recently too..
through myspace...I found two old friends, in which i haven't talked to in almost ten damn years. Both women, and I wrote each other numerious times when i first went to college, and we were unseperable in high school. I was bored, and did a search of the graduates from my high school and found them, i was so excited!...and no, i don't regret it...:)
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ALago1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
34. I contacted an old girlfriend...
...whom I was unjustifiably mean to and broke up with because I was an immature jerk back when we were together.

I contacted her primarily to say I was sorry for the way I treater her and to see how she was. I was worried that she wouldn't want to hear from me but she appreciated my honesty and can accept the fact that it took me a little longer to become a mature person haha.
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
35. No but someone contacted me
A half sister that I never met and didn't even know about until I was in my 30s. We got together a few times but I guess I couldn't give her what she was looking for and she stopped communicating. She was kind of messed up about having her dad(my dad) taken away from her.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
36. Most of the people in my past I haven't lost track of
I come from a small town and most of the people I knew there are still there. We sort of lose track of each other over the years but someone always knows what's going on with so-and-so - which is both good and bad. It means that you don't really lose each other entirely but it also means.... well, that you don't really lose each other entirely. ;)

And I'm 45 years old - it's not like I'm talking only a few years. ~sigh~ This is one reason I moved 3000 miles away.
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
38. Yes. Mainly frustrating. Two old friends...
Edited on Fri Apr-28-06 06:57 PM by bertha katzenengel
The first, C.D., I was very close to since age 15. She is a year older. We just got closer at college. I've tried calling her a time or two. Weird... I always get her voice mail (answering machine once, many moons ago). And she called back once, got my vm, left a message stating only that "it was good to hear from you. Take care." That was it. It made me sad.

The other, S.S., was a steady, safe haven when I fell apart in the 80s. She was very good to me, kind and loving, when that was exactly what I needed. I started getting well, and after a few years I came out to her. She told me "it's sin" and I never saw her again after that, until last year. On a visit home I had dinner with her. The last time I'd talked to her, on her 40th bd in 96, she told me she was getting married. But at dinner last year, she told me she'd never married him, they had only lived together for 9 years and had just split up three months earlier. She was now less judgmental of me -- in a way: she said my marriage and her relationship were equally sinful. :shrug:

I often wonder if C.D.'s not wanting to have anything to do with me is because she knew I was gay. But dammit, if ever my gaydar was pinged, all my LIFE, it was by C.D....

Sigh. I miss old friends dearly, but I've started to realize it's okay to move on, and that friends don't have to be in our lives forever for the memories to be sustaining and sweet.

:hi: NWC81 (btw, 81 is when i grad. from HS... ;))

edited because "to" does not mean 2 :eyes:
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
39. No, but I've always wanted to...
...L.A.P., from Pensacola, Florida. Worked at Red Giraffe Video. She's "the one I let slip away".
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
40. Someone from my past contacted me...
and it started out well, but a year and a half later we're in limbo.

Anytime you gamble on someone you haven't seen or heard from for the past 25 years, well...
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begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
41. Yes, I contacted a boyfriend I had not seen or heard from for 19 years.
Turned out fine, though obviously he is with someone else now. I'm glad I did.
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
42. I will be meeting
a friend that I haven't seen since 1966. She and her husband are going to be in Ontario Canada and my husband and I will meet them and spend a couple of days with them. She was my best childhood friend. We found each other on friends reunited a couple of years ago.

I'm really looking forward to it.
aA
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-28-06 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
43. Hell no.
Not a good idea.
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-29-06 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
44. I have on a couple of occasions
The first time, I tracked down a friend from junior high...and YIKES...the change was truly frightening. She probably thought the same about me, though. We've both gone in COMPLETELY different directions with our lives. I wish I'd been happy with the memory of us as kids.

The last time, I called up an old boyfriend out of the blue and, as it happened, he was planning a trip to San Diego so I drove down to see him. It was nice to visit and get caught up with where he was and what he was doing. And a relief to know that when we split up it was definitely the right choice and that there were no residual feelings left because when we split, it wasn't on the best of terms.

I felt better for having contacted him.


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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-29-06 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
45. Some of the times yes and some times no
A lot depends I think if when you call the person, they are having a bad day or they are very busy. I worked on a high shcool reunion and it was very interesting contacting the people
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-29-06 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
46. Funerals.....
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