Are you a perfectionist?

[TallahasseeGrannie]

I am doing some informal research for my own purposes. I teach gifted kids (IQ 130+) and perfectionism is a big part of many of their personalities. Any comments you care to make will be helpful for me. If you have strategies you use to overcome perfectionism, I would REALLY like to hear them.

T-Grannie

[DS1]

1. Depends what it is

Most of the time I just don't give a damn about nuttin', but other times things are thoroughly thought through and executed with great precision

[LeftyMom]

2. I kinda alternate

Things I really think are important I am very perfectionist about, but on other matters I'm a bit lazy.

I think that's healthier than some of the kids I knew in school (I was in classes for the gifted) that did absolutely everything no matter how small and unimportant 110%, an astonishing number of whom had some sort of really nasty burnout or breakdown by the time they grew up.

[LynzM]

3. I am a perfectionist about academics

And spelling, grammar, etc. Also about making sure paintings aren't crooked. But for most things I am not. I think that for me I let most of it come out academically, and try not to worry so much about anything else.

Good luck with your research!

[Road Scholar]

4. No, but I'm married to one. Drives me crazy. LOL Especially

since I'm such an "imperfectionist" (or so I'm told). LOL

[miss_american_pie]

5. I'm recovering

After the first kid was born I had to let that go.

[hfojvt]

6. I am usually only a perfectionist

when I feel I am being graded, but according to my school transcript my IQ is only 121 anyway. So I prefer the online test that said 160. It is a good idea to get some practice in failing. Most people have to deal with it at some point.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

7. I'm kicking to see if I can get

a few more comments. I think I'd need about 20 or so in order to submit it as part of my professional development package.

Thanks.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

8. Gifted child here....

(:hi:, Grannie! :D)

I had to go with sometimes a perfectionist and sometimes not. Academically I'm a huge perfectionist. But as far as my desk, room, etc. go? No fucking way. :D

:rofl:

[djeseru]

9. Getting older has taught me to be imperfect.

I like to think I've finally found a balance, but then I'll start to draw or even just sketch and I'll bury myself in criticism. It really becomes an issue in my artwork and I haven't learned to let it go yet. But, in other areas of my life, it's not a concern.

[SOteric]

10. I'm more like a recovering perfectionist.

Time and experience have taught me the uselessness and self-sabotage inherent in perfectionistic behaviours.

It's not an easy lesson to teach, relinquishing the drive to 'polish it up' just a bit more is something that has to come from within. What helped me most was failing to meet time constraints and deadlines because I was still busy getting it 'more perfect.' In order to meet a deadline one often has to be willing to strive for excellence and then let it go just to meet the time concern. You might try imposing deadlines of some sort to your students work and then helping them see their efforts, - even those which failed to meet the deadline as good work. Being sure to reiterate to them that if they'd have been able to turn it in just as it was on time, it would have earned them the bonus points they sought and lost in perfection.

[In_The_Wind]

11. I truly am about somethings and not at all about others.

Perhaps if they can learn to focus the need for perfection on only a few aspects it would be easier for them (and you).

[LaurenG]

12. No I'm not except when I am, lol

I normally do not even try to compete for anything thus I just do my best most of the time. However , I am finding that my expectations of others needs some work, especially when I drive. Then I'm a bit of a...well perfectionist. Somehow driving is a big deal to me, I don't know why yet but I'm working on it.

[liontamer]

13. i'm outgrowing it

failure is really good for destroying the need to be perfect. But why bother? Do your kids just never reach the point where they think something is perfect? If they have a cutoff, why not just let them go at it? Real life will teach that sometimes things aren't perfect, but why not let your kids strive for perfection? It's not always a bad thing

[Nikia]

14. Yes and it is a really bad thing for me

It has lead to my anxiety getting out of control and an eating disorder. I am in an eating disorder support group and they are all perfectionists, both practicing and failed. It is bad because you can never be good enough. By extension, nothing and no one is good enough either. It makes it hard to be happy.
As far as strategies go, one needs to realize what a destructive force it can be and why it isn't healthy. I would go as far as saying that it is the worst delusion for a person to have.

[Kali]

15. oh yeah! - perfection or just forget about it

dust layered all over the house, but when finally cleaning it's with a frigging q-tip.

procratination + perfectionism = not so healthy and strange behaviors.

I have learned after 20 years to just take a breath and let someone help out in the kitchen. It used to disturb me a LOT.

Paperwork - sits around for MONTHS until I obsessively sit up all night one or two days past the deadline to finish it perfectly. Same with most any kind of project. I have a huge problem doing things half assed or just adequately, (and I live on a ranch - ha where life is all about duct tape and baling wire - only MY baling wire is twisted on perfectly and no wrinkles in the duct tape :P )

Breathing, time limits, and forcing myself to walk away are the main (not so great) strategies I use.

[reyd reid reed]

16. It depends on the situation

When it comes to my work, I'm a perfectionist. When it comes to creating something, I'm something of a perfectionist.

When it comes to things like cleaning the garage...not so much.

[Robeson]

17. I am when I'm not procrastinating...

...when I finally decide to do something, I am a perfectionist.

[Gormy Cuss]

22. Procrastination goes hand in hand.

Perfectionists DO procrastinate because they fear failure. I think it's this realization that makes many of us with perfectionist tendencies learn to loosen up and take a few more risks.

[Maddy McCall]

18. I was, until I read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"

I had worried too much about my grades, keeping a 4.0 at all costs.

That book opened my eyes, and changed my way of thinking about perfectionism.

[Robeson]

19. It's funny you should mention that book....

...I read it along time ago. I gave my copy to a chiroparactor I was going to - about 15 years ago - and after reading it, he told me how much it changed his life. He sold his practice, went to India, and I have no idea what's happened to him since. I regret giving him that book, because he was the best damn chiropractor I've ever had! LOL.

[jpgray]

20. Yes, and I have the messy imperfect life to prove it.

[mvd]

21. I have some perfectionist tendencies, but..

I'm too lazy to worry about things all the time.

[Left_Winger]

23. Yes I am but only to my own standards of perfection

I teach gifted students as well and each comes with a different personality. So, I must adapt to the different situations as they unfold. I have noticed perfectionism as a personality trait among many of them, even to the point of OCD.

If you have any specific questions feel free to ask. Right now, there are so many different strategies bouncing around my head that I would not know where to begin.