Do you let the missionaries into your house?

[Plaid Adder]

Yesterday a team of Mormons were working the neighborhood. When they got to my house I did what I always do, which is open the door, say, "We're not interested, but good luck to you," and close it again. Liza said she might have let them in, because her mother always did that with the Jehovah's Witnesses, because she admired them for sticking to it even though the success rate must be pitiful. I certainly hated going door to door selling GIrl Scout cookies when I was a kid--but really, nobody's asking them to do it. Anyway, so here's the poll question:

What do you do when the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc. come a-knockin'?

[In_The_Wind]

1. I don't let anyone in unless I'm expecting them. Missionaries rarely phone

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. We NEVER allow them into the house......

In fact, our house sports an intercom......

We don't even have to answer the door if we don't feel like it!



:woohoo:

[tjwmason]

3. It all depends.

Basic rule of thumb is

J.W.s - ugly - chat to for a while on the door-step.

Mormons - gorgeous earnest young men - invite in and chat to for a long long time.


We haven't had Mormons calling here, but they're often in the local town talking to shoppers - I have been known to wander past slowly so as to attract their attention.

[gollygee]

8. You and I have the same rule!

We always have the cutest Mormon boys around here. I wonder where they send the ugly Mormon boys to do missionary work?

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

13. ...

:spank:

[tjwmason]

24. Is that punishment or reward?

:evilgrin:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

28. hummm

a little from column A and a little from column B

:hi:

[tjwmason]

29. If I remember correctly

a LOT in column C too ;)

:hi: :loveya:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

30. see

I get the double-entendre

:evilgrin:

:loveya:

[swimboy]

57. You are my mentor.

:loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

4. Other: They take one look at my book shelf and run away.

[AlCzervik]

5. i usually ask them if they'd like to hear about Judaism, they mostly

decline and sometimes i follow them on to the sidewalk and ask again just to be sure.

[LeftyMom]

6. No way I'm letting any strangers into my house.

:scared:

[gollygee]

7. Sometimes the mormon ones if they're cute

my husband teases me for that. :D

[TK421]

9. Only if they assume a certain position...and if they're hot

:D

[AlCzervik]

10. to Quote George Carlin-"Man on top get it over with quick"

[TK421]

11. LOL!!!!

:spray:

[Broken_Hero]

12. Being

raised a mormon, I usually answer the door, and tell them in a nice, positive way, to get lost...I have been inactive for 10yrs, they have a penchant for finding me though...I think my parents send them after me...cause i can't explain how they always find me...cause in some cases, they all ready know i was raised mormon...weird, isn't it?

[Kali]

38. It's all that record keeping.

;-)

[Broken_Hero]

70. Yeah, i guess...:)

But it still doesn't prove how they know where I am...i have been all over the country, and they seem to find me everywhere, maybe they have some deal with the CIA or something. I'm thinking, wherever I move, my parents tell them where I am....

[billyskank]

14. They never want to come in

They ask me, "would you say you are the sort of person who believes in God?" And I reply, yes, very much so. The next question is always what kind of faith do I follow, to which I reply that I am a Hare Krishna.

They never stay much longer after that. :shrug:

[tjwmason]

20. You should try telling them that you're C.ofE.

I know that telling lies is naughty, but they'll be far more likely to chat to you - it can be good fun really. Plus with the C.ofE. you can tell them that you believe anything at all it you'd be able to find a Bishop or two who's already argued in favour of it.

[Joey Liberal]

15. I tell them I'm a Buddhist

That always freaks them out.

[NMMNG]

47. What is it with so many people?

They equate Buddhism with something evil it seems. :crazy:

[kedrys]

16. Other: I might answer the door

just to tell them that in my opinion, they're soul-soliciting pig fuckers.

Or not. :P

[sweetheart]

17. I invite them in

Feed them tea and cookies until they feel content
so that they leave happy.

[Tikki]

18. They don't even make it to...

my front door....I stop them at the front of the property. Barky dog and all.


Tikki

[Race4Peace]

19. when i see them coming, i hop on my BMX and they chase after me

i yell "PAGANS!reet reet reet reet!"and they chase me on their mt. bikes. its a lot of fun, yelling hexes and curses at each other, shouting random condemnations while pumping massive quantities of oxygen in and out of your lungs at the same time. :popcorn:

[Race4Peace]

23. if they come by suprise, i do the same thing i do for telemarketers:

"Do you have a tomato?"
"Is the sky green?"
"No, my dad isn't here. I killed him. I am the master of this house now."
"No thanks, we've already got one."
"You do understand the skyrocketing price on cat food, don't you?"
"Coffee is God. DOWN WITH DECAF!"
"Don' make me release the Flying Atheists!"

[Akoto]

21. I don't open the door to join their faith, but ...

There's a little church nearby that does a lot of good for the community and the homeless, and contributes to charities. When they come around looking for donations (most always very politely), I will open the door and give them a contribution.

[JanMichael]

22. I just say "Not interested, goodbye" and they leave.

They rarely say anything other than "Ok, thanks" or some other inane "thanks".

No magazines, brochures, nothing.

Then again I'm usually covered in chicken blood and have voodoo music on real loud. That plus the butcher knife, some chicken innards, and the latex gloves are probably a signal that they're wasting their time. Or perhaps in mortal danger:-)

[Immad2]

25. I answer the door naked and they don't seem to want to stick around - come

to think about it they haven't been back since. Go figure.:shrug:

[Anarcho-Socialist]

26. I let them in...

..so they will be informed of the good news that is the FSM. I can never get them to stay very long though.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

27. My ex-gf's mom gets rid of them this way...

"Sure, you can come in. Would you like a cup of tea? What kind? Now that you're here, I'd like to tell you about Hinduism."

She's cool as hell. I keep trying to get her and her husband to join DU. They like reading the "Top 10..." on Mondays. A couple years ago she was really excited that they were getting Indian neighbors (she's into all the Eastern religions, yoga, etc). It turns out that new Indian neighbor was actually a fundy minister with a herd of annoying kids.

[YankeyMCC]

31. I would actually like to let one of them in one day

just to hear observe how they go about it...what kind of message they think will actually work...and ask them questions like "have you ever succeeded with anyone door to door" and maybe even challenge their conceptions of their faith.

But I'm usually busy so I just tell them to buzz off. ;)

[fishwax]

32. Generally I'll chat with them on the doorstep

Not about the church, which (particularly if they're mormon) I'm entirely familiar with and entirely uninterested in. I tell them that up front, and then engage them in small talk. I like to find out where they're from, how they like the area, stuff like that.

I make it clear at the outset that I'm not to be considered anything other than a lost cause, and will be polite to them if they respect that and rather rude if they don't. Most often they do and we have a pleasant chat.

[blondeatlast]

33. I politely decline them entrance. If they insist, I get firmer, yet remain

polite.

If they haven't got the message by then, I head for the phone.

I've had to do #3 twice, and both times it was incredibly effective...

[Patiod]

34. Kingdom Hall right down the street - visit about 4x year

I open the window (we're on the top floor of a 2-story apt.) and say "I'm very active in my own church, thank you!" in a pleasant tone. Never had any of them argue any further.

A distant relative is a Jehovah's Witness, and another relative claims they do best with "lost" or lonely souls who have drifted from organized religion but are not activey atheist or agnostic.

Don't know what I'd do if Mormons came to the door - I'd have trouble resisting asking "you don't actually believe Joseph Smith got all from golden tablets and a hat, do you?" But then again, I was raised to believe in virgin birth, which isn't all that more logical.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

35. Don't need to do anything

The pooch starts barking when he sees them approaching the porch, they stop and have a debate on the walkway, then decided to move along elsewhere. Good doggie.

[caty]

36. I have a note on my door

that states: "No Salesman--No Church Organizations". They see the note, turn around, and walk away. Works great.

[LaurenG]

37. I usually go outside and start talking about my beliefs

and then I ask them if they believe in the sanctity of the human being, I ask them if they'd like to be saved in the way that I understand it. Then they usually just leave. So yes I will talk to them. lol (and scare them)

[JVS]

39. I let the JW's in, but the Mormons have to keep going

[WCGreen]

40. It depends on their position......

[Kali]

41. They rarely make it down our road so I don't get the pleasure very often.

Depending on how they act I usually just blow them off with we don't belive in religion, we are a science based family. But I do like to wave and yell "howzit goin' boys" to the Mormon kids when I'm driving around.

[Ava]

42. my best friend is a missionary

of course she is a REAL one. she has been on mission trips to Mexico and Cuba.

[Lilith Velkor]

43. My neighborhood doesn't get them.

I haven't had one knock on my door in 6 years.

[fortyfeetunder]

44. You mean someone rang my doorbell?

Maybe I'll let my attack pit bull Friendly answer the door...

[Brigid]

45. Hasn't happened in a while . . .

But the last time, it was Jehovah's Witnesses, and they used a cheap trick if you ask me: They sent two cute little boys in suits. Made it hard to shut the door in their faces.

[Jazz2006]

46. Only when the mercenaries are on their way.

hee hee

[enigmatic]

48. a long time ago

I invited a couple of Jahovah Witnessess in my place that had been trying to convert me; I sat them down and listened to their pitch, then excused myself to tell them that since I was a member of the Penitente Brotherhood I was required to go whip myself 5 times a day as an offering to God. I then went into the bedroom, got a whip that was given to me by a friend, and whipped it on the floor several times while I made screaming sounds.

After a couple of minutes of this I went back out and say back down. They suddenly had somewhere to go and booked. Never saw them again...

[HEyHEY]

49. Only when the Lepers play their music too loud

[Random_Australian]

50. other: The dogs scare them off. They won't get out of the car.

[ScreamingMeemie]

51. I once timed a group (family) of JW's as they stood on my porch.

They stood on my porch, knocking intermittently, for about 10 minutes...and then tried again on their way back down the street. I give them kudos for their stick to itiveness.

[jukes]

52. "other"

i found a stick-on plaque online, male/female w bible y cross above them y a "nope" symbol running through them. haven't had 1 knock on the door since i mounted it.

[Bridget Burke]

53. No. I smile politely, say "no, thank you" & shut the door.

(No, I don't slam it.)

Standard practice toward anyone hawking things door to door. And, although open the "main" door--I leave the screen door latched.

[Frank Cannon]

54. I let them in and my wife dances erotically for them

It's funny as hell!

[Brewman_Jax]

55. Two knocked on my door

late last week, getting me off the couch after a crappy day. Two teenage girls, asking if they could come in and talk to me about Jesus Christ. Come in? What are you two--vampires? (One of the stories about vampires is that they can't cross a threshhold unless invited.) I said no thanks and closed the door.

I thought about it later. Two teenage girls at the door, wanting to come in and talk...hmmm... ... that's short story material! :rofl: :silly:

[Frank Cannon]

56. Read the true story I link to. You lucked out that day.

It's true. They can't come in unless you invite them.

http://www.ghosts.org/stories/tales/evil-kids.html

[Brewman_Jax]

60. Can't read it right now

darn firewall! :P

The short story topic I had in mind was more, uh, risque in subject matter.

[Frank Cannon]

71. Wait until late at night

Read this one when you're just about ready to go to bed. :evilgrin:

[Brewman_Jax]

72. That was pretty creepy

but fortunately, these kids were walking around during daylight hours (about 7pm), but I was in no mood to receive visitors, esp. uninvited ones.

Did I say that story link was pretty creepy? :scared:

[Mutley]

58. Missionaries or not, I just don't invite strangers into my house.

Until recently I didn't live in a very nice neighborhood, and I haven't had any missionaries come by in my new neighborhood.

[Crazy Dave]

59. Other

I'm polite to whomever, offer them a bottled water if it's hot, but I do tell them I'm not interested and there has never been any conflicts. It's more difficult to get rid of telemarketers (even being on a no call list) and Bellsouth solicitors at my office than it is the people going door to door in my neighborhood with religious literature.

[MountainLaurel]

61. They never make it to our door

We live in a building with a secure entrance: You either have to know someone who will buzz you in, or follow someone else into the building. And even if they did that, I could see someone complaining to the building manager and getting them kicked out. (We're in the city, so our building is full of atheists, Muslims, pagans, Jews, and other heathens who wouldn't appreciate being proselytized.) Mr. Laurel and I do have a back gate they theoretically could use, but the six-foot privacy fence and the two dogs on the other side of would probably dissuade them.)

[Spider Web]

62. I tell them .. " I'm OK with God "

I used to invite them in and 'boggle their minds'
with questions.

Now I tell them that I'm satisfied with my relationship
with God and they move on.

'S'

[barb162]

63. At first I would listen kindly to their spiel , then I just stopped

answering the door. Two sets were here last week alone.

[El Fuego]

64. You want to know my missionary position???

[blindpig]

65. Answer the door with live snakes in hand

yammering on about the old gods. They leave.

[Samurai_Writer]

66. Here's the way I deal with them

I put on my Slayer t-shirt with the pentagram on it, and my upside down cross pendant. I keep a copy of the Satanic bible close to the door, and hold that as well. Then I open the door, and say, "I'll read your bible if you read mine. Come on in."

I've never had any of them take me up on my offer.

[AllegroRondo]

67. I invite them in and try to sell them time shares.

[Taverner]

68. Sometimes, when I'm making stew and I'm fresh out of pork...

:evilgrin:

[Dukkha]

69. I collect them in my basement

[scarlet_owl]

73. My grandma does.

[texas1928]

74. Answer the door with a machete and say over my shoulder...

"Honey, dinners here."

[bigwillq]

75. I don't even answer the door.

But if the screen door is open and they can see someone in the house, I will kindly say I am not interested.

[leftofthedial]

76. I don't even allow the missionary position

in my house

[playkate]

77. I simply tell them...

...that I don't discuss religion on my front porch (or in my livingroom) with people I do not know. It's not rude, it's not unkind--and there's absolutely no way they could have a response to it.

What are they gonna do, say 'you do too!'?

(It also works great for door-to-door salesmen and telephone marketers. Saying I don't buy things over the phone, or at my front door, settles things just fine.)

[Seabiscuit]

78. I fill condoms with water and drop them on their heads from upstairs

window.

[mduffy31]

79. If they are LDS

I just tell them I am an Irish Catholic, went to Notre Dame, and I am not interested in the Church of LDS, and our football team kicks the shit out of theirs. Now for the Jehovah Witnesses, I like to answer the door in my underwear, dirty t-shirt with a knife in my hand and see if they want to come in. Usually they don't.