Next time a group of proselatizing Christians show up at my door

[burythehatchet]

and try to teach me about the bible, and accept to accept Jesus as my personal savior. I'm going to graciously invite them in, whip out my Bhagavad Gita and read it to them until they get irritated enough to see themselves out. :mad:

[Bake]

1. At least you're civil about it!

And upfront about it.

That's a good thing!

Bake

[burythehatchet]

3. either that or put a sign on my front door

"Hindu on board"

[alfredo]

2. I show up at the door nude, sporting an

erection and a butcher knife.

Works every time.

[burythehatchet]

7. A census taker showed up at my door

I ate his liver with some fava beans, and a nice chianti...sup..sup..sup..sup..sup

[alfredo]

10. Fava beans don't agree with me.

[kiki]

22. How'd you know it's them...

...till you open the door?

Taking a BIG risk there, buddy.

"Oh... sorry mom, I thought you were the fundies!"

:rofl:

[ProdigalJunkMail]

4. that's only fair

they should be willing to go that route...of course, the conversation may last longer than you anticipate and are willing to tolerate.

sP

[burythehatchet]

8. They should be. One time I told them of my spiritual preference

and was told I was going to hell. I told them I'll see them there then.

[AndyTiedye]

14. When They Tell Me That I'm Going To Hell...

I say, maybe I'll go to Hell and fix the air conditioning there.

[0007]

20. You an HVAC person?

[AndyTiedye]

25. No, But I Think I Could Figure It Out. I'd Have Plenty of Time to Learn

At least they'd have plenty of energy to run it down there :evilgrin:

[tridim]

5. Ask them if the Moon creates or reflects light n/t

[shenmue]

6. Good for you

:7

[RubyDuby in GA]

9. Smack this on your door like I did and hopefully your problem will end

Now if that doesn't work, try this one:


They should get the message, but then again, we are talking about some southern biblethumpers and I know how they can be........

At our next get together, remind me to tell you why I had to put that sticker on the door. Goddamned fundies!!!!!!!!!

[Love Bug]

15. Shouldn't it be "Solicitors shot on sight"?

I suppose "Solicitors shot on site" would imply you'll only shoot them on your site rather than waiting until they've returned to their car... :shrug:

[RebelOne]

18. They can be persistent. I live up in Woodstock, GA.

And every few months the Woodstock Baptist Church fundies hit my neighborhood and go door to door. I usually just don't answer the door when I see them coming. And quite often, they will bypass my house when they see my Rottweiler standing at the window.

[TlalocW]

19. I had that one my door

For a long time because the Mormon Kids kept bothering me on Saturdays and waking me uup from naps. At that point, I decided I was curmodgeon at age 28 and really didn't like people I didn't know, knocking on my door and disturbing me so the text that went along with it said something like,

---------------
"NO SOLICITORS! This includes but is not limited to: salespeople, girl scout cookie sellers, newspaper subscribers, and anyone wishing to tell me why their religion is better than mine.*"
---------------

I had the * there because at the bottom of my sign in smaller print, it said:

---------------
* Jehovah Witnesses are welcome if they're willing to discuss Deuteronomy 18:20-22 (which talks about false prophets) in regards to some predictions of the end of the world, which your church elders periodically make.
** Mormons pretending to be Jehovah Witnesses will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
---------------

I soon had my Saturday afternoon naps back undisturbed.

TlalocW

[DUHandle]

11. The last time that happened to me

i thanked the people for coming by and told them that I worship Satan.

The looks on their faces was great.

If choose to use this remember: always be polite.

[enlightenment]

21. I stand and listen for a half-minute or so, then

suddenly raise my head and sniff the air -- put a concerned/irritated/mildly panicked look on my face and say,
"So sorry, I've got to run. The sacrificial goat is BURNING!!"

Then close the door.

[KyuzoGator]

12. Or you could just rattle off some quotes showing how LIBERAL Jesus was.

nt

[jrw14125]

13. good idea! i'm going to read Dao De Jing to them while expounding on...

the Big Bang theory and theories of universal expansion and contraction. They'll love that.

Seriously, if we took kids from the time they can crawl and preached science, philosophy, critical thinking, and reason to them, do you really think more than a few % of them would grow up to be religious whackos?

That's why they want their bible in our schools! They're afraid of losing the ability to brainwash their and our children. Thank GOD for that!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

16. Ah, The Song Celestial!

If I were there, I'd bring my harmonium and my husband would bring his tablas and we'd lead Kirtan. Think they'd enjoy a chorus or two of Gopala?

[burythehatchet]

23. They may not, but I sure would

and I'll bring my favorite shenai CD's :)

[BigMcLargehuge]

17. "Take your crazy, off my property"

is what I say to them

[no_hypocrisy]

24. You should let them and not let them leave until they register as

democrats and become "true believers". (Having them consider * as the Anti-Christ is a bonus point.)

[BikeWriter]

26. Sic a Jack Russel Terrier on them.

[Shell Beau]

27. All you need to say is "thanks, but no thanks"