Lounge Challenge: Write the opening scene of a film about the impeachment

[XemaSab]

of George W. Bush and the downfall of his administration.

Be creative!

Use your imagination!

:bounce:

[madinmaryland]

1. Kick!

:kick:

That's it! * being kicked out of office. That's all I want to see!!!

[LSK]

2. this is too easy

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

:hide:

[graywarrior]

14. I'm an idiot. The posting of that joke cracks me up every time.

[yellowdogintexas]

28. it's not the joke, it's the sneaking in of it that is so funny! nt

[Telly Savalas]

29. It's like a fine wine that gets better with age, eh?

[Dem2theMax]

30. You've got company.

I laugh harder every time I see it. :) :) :)

Or should those smilies be :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: ? LOL.

[DS1]

3. Impeachment hearings begin at 9:01 pm

or, when Bush is in bed.

Before the strike of midnight, he's been impeached, convicted, kicked out of office, and sleeping in his bed which the secret service moved out just beyond the WH gate without even waking him up;.

[billyskank]

4. The night was humid

:hi:

[Shakespeare]

6. The night was SULTRY!

[billyskank]

9. The night was grumpy, by the looks of it

:)

[Shakespeare]

10. oscar-nominated grumpy, in fact

You're familiar with the movie, I hope? One of my favorite movies-about-writers EVER.

[DS1]

11. That was an amazing role she played

George Costanza had NOTHING on Crystal's character

[Misunderestimator]

32. .

:thumbsup:

[Beaverhausen]

5. Fade in: Dick Cheney picks up his rifle and aims it at the Oval Office

[fishnfla]

7. Scene: Bagdad

3 US Troopers shooting the bull, the old "piss and moan/ when I get home rap" Bagdad street life in background

One of the troopers felled by a long distance sniper shot. Mayhem as his buddies frantically cover and try to save his life, calling for a dust off

Change scene to Bagdad internet cafe, mortars going off in the distance, ignored by people crowding around, watching a video of the previous scene on monitor(editors note: I heard they are actually doing this, cull the scene from the real deal) laughter and cheers as the soldier falls, jokes about the "unfaithful" and "weapons of mass destruction"

Fade out/ Fade into scene: US tree-lined street, Marine officer and chaplain in parade uniform exit car in driveway. Kids playing ball in the street stop and stare. They knock on anyhouse USA door. Woman opens the door, without a word knowing why they are there. She wails and falls against the door frame. The officer starts his speil "It is with deep regret that inform you your son, etc...."

Fade through to her living room,photo of dead trooper on the mantle. TV on in the background reporter finishing story..."it was the 5,000 US casuality in the 5 year conflict. Meanwhile Back in Washington, Senate hearings continued today into the impeachment of the sitting President etc...."

Fade into Senate committee chamber....

<now if we could only find one pissed off Dem to lead the charge. Murtha?

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. SCENE — INTERIOR — DAY

Series of shots mixing through to various objects establishing White House as location; Oval Office windows, desk, presidential seal, etc.

Mix through to 45-degree overhead of a desk. A newspaper is tossed onto it. Headline reads something like "House: impeachment 'imminent'."

FIRST VOICE (OOV): Has he seen this?

SECOND VOICE (OOV): I don't think so.

FIRST VOICE: Maybe you should call Ailes.

SECOND VOICE: Maybe somebody should call Rove.

FIRST VOICE: Rove hasn't slept since Monday.

SECOND VOICE: Have you?

[mdmc]

12. nice OP XemaSab!

Open with a black screen.
Black screen fades to a black and white negative of Andrew Jackson.
Screen flips from a photo negative to a black and white picture of Andrew Jackson.
VOICE OVER: "Let them try to take the Presidency from me and the American people."
Cut to a black and white photo of Woody Guthrie in the Ohio dust bowl.
Voice over of a FDR fireside chat. "We need public works. America must work and the Supreme Court must allow Americans to work!"
Fade to Oliver Stones "Nixon". Scene at the Lincon Memorial. Teenage girl, "You couldn't stop them even if you wanted to. Could you, Mr. President? There is no way to stop the beast." Freeze on Nixon's puzzled, compassionate face.
A laptop is placed in front of Nixon's face. The laptop covers the entire shot of Nixon's face. The laptop's screen is open to the www.moveon.org front page. A small Real player window shows a video of President Bill Clinton testifying. "It depends what the definition of "is" is."
Cut to John Sweeney's staffers in Dade County Florida screaming, "Shut it down! Shut it down!"
Cut to the first tower falling.
Cut to w.'s 2003 State of the Union. "16 words".
Closeup of W. zoom in. W.'s face is made up of portraits of dead American troops.
Voice over. "When you are tasked with keeping America safe, there is no such thing as a criminal act."
fade to black.
Or is there?
American flag waving. The Impeachment of George W. Bush.

:)

[XemaSab]

16. Thanks!

:hi:

It was actually my mom's idea.

[Lisa]

13. open with a fake "news flash" -- "we interrupt this program to report ..."

Shaky helicopter shot of a white pickup truck being driven, very slowly, along an empty highway, with crosstalk from various law enforcement agencies crackling on a scanner. Cut to inside of vehicle, POV of handheld camera in the front passenger seat, with the driver alternately screaming "I am still the President -- I am your God!" -- and laughing like a maniac.




The film unfolds with the truck cab as the main setting, Bush blurting out a stream of confessions and rationales -- some self-serving, some heartfelt. Meanwhile, we are cutting back and forth to news broadcasts which supply more information about the things he is gabbling. It gradually becomes apparent that Bush has grabbed Saddam's gun and taken someone hostage, in a stress reaction to his pending impeachment (we don't learn the passenger's identity until much later ...)

[XemaSab]

17. LOL!!!!!

Wow!!!! Nice one!!!!!!!

[mdmc]

15. kick

[SofaKingLiberal]

18. .

FADE IN:

TV SCREEN

Bill O'Reilly is screaming into the camera, his nostrils flare as sweat drips from his forehead.

"Liberal traitors have taken over both houses of Congress and have announced their intentions to impeach the greatest President in American history.

That is the subject of today's talking points.

The highest voter turnout in history and the landslide victories of numerous Democrats prove only one thing.

The liberal media is the greatest threat to our country and the world.

After running a campaign of lies and di...

ZOOM OUT

INT. OVAL OFFICE

The rabid rantings of O'Reilly are still heard in the background.
Dick Cheney is sitting at the desk reading a Playboy. He grabs a bottle of Jack Daniels off the desk and takes a swig.

"George, you fucking moron."

GEORGE
Do I still get to nuke Iran?

DICK
What the fuck do you think?

GEORGE
You told me not to.

DICK
NO!

GEORGE
Can Jeff stay over tonight?

INT. DOORWAY

Karl Rove walks through the door, over to Bush and hands him a bag of cocaine.

KARL
I have some bad news, George.

GEORGE
What?

KARL
You're fucked.

[XemaSab]

22. That's poignant.

[ashling]

19. I've got the ending:

Camera in tight on the outside of Air Force One, panning across the name and seal stopping at the open door where W is standing with a blank look on his face at the side of Dick Chheney.

"Dick, I neer thought they'd do it."

Cut to the inside looking from behind W and Darth and you see they are looking out the door at 10,000 ft.

W: "Well, at least I've got a parachute."

Darth looks down at the parachute he is holding w/ the Presidential Seal on it. He shrugs and throws it back it the plane as he kicks W out the door.

Just then an Air Force Officer sticks his head out of the cabin door: "Where to Mr.President."

Cut to a widescreen shot from outside as the plane slowly climbs and banks right ass a tiny speck is falling to the horizon.

Cheney's voice: "The Hidey Hole."

Roll Credits:

Hon. Congressman John Conyers
Hon. Senator John Kerry
Hon. Senator Barbara Boxer
Hon. Senator Theodore Kennedy
.........

[mdmc]

20. nice

[ronnykmarshall]

21. Fade in to the Oval Office

May 1st 2007: Following the Impeachment in the Democratic-lead House of Reps, George & Laura surrounded by White House staff and cabinet member watch nervously as the Senate votes on Bush's removal from office.

W: (Taking a swig off a bottle of Jack Daniels) DAMN! The Democrats got a lousy .... BUUURRRRRRPPPPPP ... one seat majority in the gal darn senate and my ass is hangin on the line!

Laura: (nervously pacing smoking a Parliament and gulping down her vodka tonic) Well, you can thank that bitch Kay Bailey for that! My god. Getting caught in a motel with a Jimmy Swaggart and a DONKEY! Thanks a lot, Kay!

W: Hee! Hee! I feel bad fer the donkey.

Laura: George! One more smart ass joke and I a swear ......

W: WELL WHAT THE HELL ELSE CAN I DO, WOMAN??? SHIT M' PANTS?

Laura: You did that an hour ago.

Condi: Now, now you two. As much as I get a kick out of seeing your marriage fall apart, it's not over yet. We still have an ace up our sleeve.

Everyone turns their focus to the TV.

Clerk of the Senate: "Senator Lieberman?"

Lieberman: "NO!"

The Oval Office erupts into cheers!

W: I knew we could count on ol' Joe!

Laura: Oh you're gonna owe him big time now, Georgie. You know how his people are. They never forget. Jenna freshen up Mommas drink.

Condi: All we have to do is wait for the Vice President to break the tie and this whole mess will be over.

The joyous celebration continues as the Senate roll call winds up.

W: Shut the fuck up, y'all Dick's gonna make it official.

Clerk of the Senate: "Mr Vice-President, as President of the Senate you must vote to the break the tie. We have 50 votes - Aye to remove the President from office and 50 votes - No. Please cast your vote.

Cheney: (standing slowing with a bigger smirk on this face than ever seen) AYE!

There is dead silence in the stunned Oval Office.

Laura: (scowling at W) George, did you shit your pants again?

[XemaSab]

24. ROFL!!!!

NICE!!!!!!!

[MiniMandaRuth]

23. Okay, okay!!!!

One day, Bush woke up.

He saw this dude on his lawn:



He got the hell out of there.

[XemaSab]

26. Knowing the Shrub he'd probably call Gannon over

and have a party. :eyes:

And THAT would be an excellent start to the impeachment process! :D

[ronnykmarshall]

25. Kick!

:kick:

Come on, I know there's some good writers out there.

[Fawkes]

27. kick

[SerpentX]

31. "In the criminal justice system ..."

DA Branch: "Jack, he's the President of the United States. We're not going to prosecute him".

EADA McCoy: "With all due respect Arthur, go to hell".

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

33. (I forgot you asked for an opening scene - here's my (very) short film)

INT. US Senate

Chief Justice Roberts is presiding over a full Senate.

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS
This Senate has voted on the articles of impeachment presdented to it by the House. It finds with 78 aye's to 22 nays, a clear two-thirds majority, that President George Walker Bush is impeached.

A massive cheer errupts. Several loud cries of "bullshit" and "traitors" are heard.

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS
George Bush is no longer President.

CUT TO:

Close-up on Bush's face, eyes closed, sweating profusely.

He bursts into life with a start.

The camera pulls back to reveal that he is lying on a bed in a barren room.

The camera further reveals that it is in fact a gaol cell.

Bush lets out an almighty scream as we disappear through the peep-slot in the door and down a corridor.

We pass several cells and can just make out the names on the doors - Tony Blair, José María Aznar, Silvio Berlusconi, ...

---------------------------------------

[rug]

34. Zoom in on a hole in the ground.

GWB is pulled from it blinking, bearded and disheveled.