wife 1.0

[mainegreen]

Both my wife & I work in the computer industry. Today she sent me this, and I thought is was funny enough to share here on the lounge.

Subject: Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, especially applications such as Beer Drinker 10.3 , Sci-Fi Fan 5.0 , Sleeping In 7.5 , and Stereo Enhance 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.
(KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
to
alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

I personally have found upgrading to Wife 1.0 has totally made Sci-Fi Fan 5.0 run improperly!

[dr.strangelove]

1. Where can I get Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3

That sounds like a great program.

[leftofthedial]

2. uninstalling Wife 1.0 cost me way more than the price of a new system

[billyskank]

4. Ah, nobody ever reads the EULA...

:P

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Ah, my dear mainegreen!

I have seen this before, and I think it's a complete RIOT!

Also true, BTW.....

I've been a Wife 1.0 for more than 40 years now, and it's great!

:rofl:

[Deep13]

5. I use an I-Mac, so the change was pretty seamless.

I ran Sweetie 9.0 for about eight years and finally upgraded to Sweety X. Since the original OP did not have certain annoying functions, the upgrade does not either. Chief among this include Kidmaker 2.4, ChurchgoerXP or the D-Slob utility program which invariably would have used more system resources than it was worth. The only real change is that Turbotax runs easier and the new OP can be installed on BlueCross 5.0.

[nini]

6. Sounds like a bigger hard drive is in order

:evilgrin:

[mainegreen]

7. why you..

:spank:

[nini]

10. sorry.. I couldn't resist

:D

[hunter]

8. Wife 1.0 best upgrade ever!

Runs Sci-Fi Fan 5.0 better than Girlfriend 7.0 and doesn't crash. Child processes run perfectly. I couldn't be happier.

[Deja Q]

9. Where is Man-With-Big-Hard-Drive?

:shrug: