DUers: please help! I need your advice.

[Magrittes Pipe]

One of my shoes (the left) has become untied, and I don't know what to do about it! It's just not like my shoes to become untied like this. What if I need to leave my desk? I could trip and fall!

What am I to do? :cry:

[Sugar Smack]

1. Quick! Start popping pills like crazy!!!

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. Aye-aye, captain!

[terrya]

2. If there's a way to get to some alcohol, that's the way to go.

This is pretty damn serious.

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. There is nothing alcohol cannot fix.

I'll get right on that.

[johnnie]

3. I'm sorry, I can't help

I know what I would do, but I don't feel like an Internet board is the right place to discuss this. No one here is a shoestring expert and that should be left to the experts. Please read the message board rules.

[Magrittes Pipe]

13. Dick.

:thumbsdown:

[johnnie]

37. Been called worse by better

x(

[Sugar Smack]

25. It's like being in an abyss.

:scared:

[Misunderestimator]

34. Why hasn't this thread been locked?

[johnnie]

38. Because

Hedges is a clique.

[Magrittes Pipe]

41. I've got the mods under my:

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. gnaw off the leg

crawl for help

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. My back hurts if I try to bend that way.

:cry:

[LynneSin]

5. Hi! My name is George W. Bush and I'd like to give you some advice...

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. I don't get it.

:shrug:

[LynneSin]

47. Which is why you haven't been able to figure out the shoelace thingie

:loveya:

[ThomCat]

6. You have a wife, don't you?

Isn't she there to tie your shoes for you? :P

[Magrittes Pipe]

19. I am at work!

I have no wife HERE! :cry:

[ThomCat]

50. What about your "office wife?"

Don't you have a secretary in your office? You're a man, damn it. Have some woman take care of you!

[LaraMN]

7. Cut off your feet! Now!

Believe me, it is the ONLY way!

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. But then I won't be able to wear ladies' boots!

How can I liiiiiive without boots?

[LaraMN]

32. Well, leave a bit of a stump.

Duh.

[tigereye]

51. I love your Midwestern practicality Lara

:rofl:

[Mutley]

8. Just take the shoe off and throw it away.

Apply Febreeze to the sock as needed.

[Magrittes Pipe]

22. That's the easy way out.

[XNASA]

9. .

[Magrittes Pipe]

23. What the fuck is that?

A straight-jacket for one's feet?

[arwalden]

11. Sometimes I Worry About You...

... but then when I realize that at least you know how to make a PBJ sandwich, I can rest a little easier at night... knowing that you can feed yourself.

[Magrittes Pipe]

24. Iron helps us play!

[Dora]

14. Tie the laces of your left shoe

to the laces of your right shoe.

THAT'LL SHOW 'EM! If they can't stay properly tied, perhaps they can learn from shoelaces that can!

[Magrittes Pipe]

26. Your syntax is too awkward and difficult for me to parse.

Please try using smaller words, as I am a dullard.

[Dora]

31. You are such a bad liar.

If you can use "dullard" in an appropriate context, then you can damn well follow my instructions to tie your shoelaces together and trip yourself on the way to the fax machine. Hop to!

[azmouse]

17. Blame Clinton! It's all his fault when something goes wrong...

:popcorn:

[Magrittes Pipe]

27. The Clenis has untied my shoe!

:cry:

[Shell Beau]

18. What a dilemma! I'd call 911 for help! This is beyond my expertise!

[Magrittes Pipe]

28. How does 9/11 help me?

It just made a lot of people dead and more people scared.

[Misunderestimator]

30. 9/11 changed everything... even your shoes.

[CanuckAmok]

33. If you don't tie your shoelaces, the shoelaces have won.

[Misunderestimator]

35. We have to tie his there to protect our own here.

:scared:

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. If I were you, I'd kill myself.

It's the only tenable solution.

[Magrittes Pipe]

29. If I had a nickel for every time I've been given that advice.

Maybe I should just listen.

[azmouse]

36. I'm pre-emptively untying all my shoes now

before they develop the ability to untie themselves.

[Magrittes Pipe]

39. .

:tinfoilhat:

[tigereye]

52. sandals dude!

that's what I'm wearing!

[Sugar Smack]

43. You can't be too careful.

:tinfoilhat:

[arwalden]

40. Two Words... DUCT TAPE! --- I highly recommend it.

Or "Duck Tape" depending on who's doing the talking.

A great replacement for laces (if they've come untied) or... once someone has tied them for you, just put about 8" of tape OVER the tied laces and they should stay in place ALL DAY LONG.

[Magrittes Pipe]

42. Ah, duct tape.

Is there anything you can't do? :loveya:

[LynneSin]

48. Perhaps he should duct tape up some plastic and seal himself

inside a closet somewhere so he is protected from shoelace untying terrarists

[riona]

44. get a-holt of yourself!

you obviously aren't ready for laced shoes. just accept it.
:hug:

[Magrittes Pipe]

45. They are loafers.

:cry:

[riona]

46. Now we have a full-blown tragedy!

:nuke:

[tigereye]

54. hmmm

who is the loafer?

(yeah, I'm so funny)

[billyskank]

49. OMG you are fucked

:pals:

[Magrittes Pipe]

53. I know.

:cry:

[Gormy Cuss]

55. Does your left shoe untie itself frequently?

There may be an underlying issue. Perhaps it's jealous of the right shoe (why it is RIGHT? Doesn't that imply that the left shoe is wrong? I don't think it's fair to label the left shoe that way.)

If this is the first time it's happened, maybe the left shoe is feeling under the weather. Was it raining or snowing today? Did you force it to slog through without regard to how it felt?

Whatever you do, don't leave your desk until you've had a frank and open discussion with your shoe.
I'm no shrink but I'd guess it wants you to fall.

:P

[Magrittes Pipe]

56. My shoe has bad breath.

:(