What if musicians ran the world?

[Swede]

It'd be interesting.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. We'd have a hell of a lot more political activism....

and a hell of a lot more narcissism.

Well, you win some, and you lose some....

:evilgrin:

[asthmaticeog]

2. Bass players would be second-class citizens.

[ZombieNixon]

3. Aren't bass players already second-class citizens?

:hide:

:P

[no name no slogan]

4. ....

:spray:

too true too true!!!

[eyepaddle]

5. Well, they would if there's any justice

at any rate! :evilgrin:

[dolo amber]

6. Hey!

:grr:

[Magrittes Pipe]

24. Nobody ever says "I wanna be a bass player when I grow up."

[bbernardini]

17. Have you never heard "The Day The Bass Players Took Over The World"?

Performed (but not written by) Trout Fishing In America:

The day was very subtle, everything was low-key,
The sky it was so overcast that you could barely see,
And everything slowed down to a slower frequency,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Well, they came pouring out of symphonies, orchestras and bands,
And every other kind of combo that was ever known to man,
And although it was spontaneous, you'd think it was quite planned,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Now one day the bass players, they decided to uprise,
They were tired of being sidemen to all those other guys.
So they kidnapped the horn section,
They put drugs in the drummer's drink,
And they tied up all the guitar players
With their big ol' flat-wound strings.
And on that day the world it was finally set free,
All the creatures they hung out together and interacted fretlessly,
And the air began to vibrate with such a deep tonality,
The day the bass players took over the world.

[B3Nut]

25. What would that make multi-instrumentalists

who also play bass? ;)

Todd in Beerbratistan...B-3, bass, and gee-tar...

[graywarrior]

7. I know one set that could drum up a lot of business.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

12. Bad-um, psssht.

*rimshot*

:rofl:

[johnnie]

8. We would have a shitload of pizza delivery people

Who also play drums.


:evilgrin:

On edit: I just realized this makes no sense.

[asthmaticeog]

10. What do you do when a drummer shows up on your doorstep?

Pay him for the pizza.



No kiddin', I know SO MANY drummers who use those pizza-warmer bags as cymbal cases...

[lizziegrace]

14. The difference between a drummer and a large pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4...

[asthmaticeog]

15. DAMN!

Nice.

Did you hear about the time the guitarist locked the keys in the van? It took two hours to get the drummer out.

[lizziegrace]

16. Thanks!

I was married to a drummer for too many years... (yes, I made more than he did) Come to think of it, most everybody made more than he did. Hmmm

:hi:

[Magrittes Pipe]

28. Oh, shit, I made the same joke downthread.

x(

[ZombieNixon]

9. Then drummers would have to wear those "special" helmets.

:evilgrin:

It'd be th'law! :P

[graywarrior]

11. Well, if that don't beat all.

[ZombieNixon]

13. Well, if that don't beat all,

then no drummer is it. :P

[graywarrior]

20. They march to a different beat, that's for sure.

[XemaSab]

18. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

[lizziegrace]

23. How do you make a drummer stop playing?

put music in front of him. :)

[AllegroRondo]

26. Drummer jokes! Hooray!

Q: when does your band play?

A: About a half beat ahead of the drummer.




How can you tell when the stage is level?

When drool comes out both sides of the drummer's mouth.




What do you do with a musician with no rhythm?

Give him two sticks and make him a drummer.

What do you do when he still can't play?

Take away one stick and make him a conductor.

[Magrittes Pipe]

27. What happened when the drummer locked himself in the van?

It took 2 hours for the bass player to get him out.

[Ramsey]

19. Marijuana would be legal

Among other things

[Initech]

21. America's amps would go up to 11!

[no name no slogan]

22. Just make sure the drummers don't drive the busses

or everything would be a few hours behind schedule

[AllegroRondo]

29. Whats worse than drummer jokes?

Trombone jokes!


How can you tell a trombone player's kids on the playground?

They can't use the slide and don't know how to swing.



How do you make a trombone player's car go faster?

Take the Dominos sign off the roof.



Whats the difference between trombone player dead on the side of the road, and a snake dead on the side of the road?

The snake may have actually been on his way to a gig.




What can you tell about a trombone player in a rock band?

He probably owns the sound equipment.