I'm supposed to attend my high school reunion next year (need help)

[bluestateguy]

I am suposed to go to my 10 year reunion next June in California. I'll definently go, as there are many old friends I'd like to see, and I can stay with my relatives. Unfortunately, I think I'm starting to get nervous about it. I just had this disturbing dream about it last night, the details of which I will not get into here. When I was in high school I was relatively well-liked and respected. I was involved in a lot of activities, I had an elected student government job and I was excellent student. My most glaring failure was that I never had a girlfriend in high school. I was very shy and awkward with women, at least in social settings, anyway. Sad to say, that has not changed today. I have not had a girlfriend in a long time. There is something about going to that reunion alone that bothers me, while everybody else will either be married or in serious relationships. I want to show people that I have overcome my most substantial high school failure: that of not being able to connect with women. I have even thought about (if I can afford it) paying some woman to go with me to the reunion and pretend to be my girlfriend. What would you do?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Where is it and when?

You seem like an alright guy! I'll go with ya...I'm nobody's gift of perfection but I'm not ugly :-)

[Capn Sunshine]

13. There are guys on DU

who would KILL for the offer NSMA just made you , my friend. :P

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. I'll go to you HS reunion with you too

As long as it's not on the same night as Bluestateguy's....um...do I get a dinner out of the deal? :D

( I must admit...even though I'm not God's gift..one year I was attending a Democratic fundraiser ...1000 dollar a plate full fluff event complete with Al Gore as the guest speaker...and went to the gym right before so my dress would "fit better". I was walking out of the gym all dressed up and a guy was walking up the stairs as I was walking down...he kept saying "wow you look great" and turning around and commenting all the way up the stairs and walked right into a plate glass window...I couldn't believe a girl could feel so bad and so good at the same time. :D )

[jiacinto]

2. Well

Just make sure that you have a job that everyone else can be jealous of and that you have a nice car and you'll be fine.

Then I'd go hit to Gym to make sure that you just don't look fat.

[trof]

3. Hire a hooker.

;-)
Wasn't there a movie with that theme?

[THUNDER HANDS]

4. build a female robot

but that's just me. :D

[salinen]

6. If you go alone

some of those other shy girls may take notice this time and have the balls to jump your bones.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

7. I understand your concern, but...

...if you can't get a friend to accompany you, I think you should hold your head up proudly and go alone. I skipped my 10th reunion because 1) I was alone and 2) I was afraid people would laugh at me because I hadn't lived up to everyone's expectations of me (becoming a lawyer). I never dated much in high school, either; the guys always seemed to go for cheerleader types (or any type as long as it wasn't me!) I am sorry I didn't go now, but was able to make up for it by attending my 20th reunion in 2000. I was able to go the second night with my husband, but the first night I went alone because he was busy. I felt weird about it, but it was kind of fun circulating about the room and determining who hadn't changed a bit and was still stuck in their small town ways (not always a bad thing, but bad in this case). I'm happy to say that I can attend my 30th reunion (EGAD!!!) in 6 1/2 years as an attorney, as I am finishing my third semester of law school in a couple of weeks (only three semesters to go!)

I think it's better to present yourself as a thoughtful and intelligent person with a worthwhile life than to show up effectively lying with someone you may have to introduce as a girlfriend who really isn't. It would be too hard to keep up the pretense. Remember, too, that not everyone will be there with someone. I have plenty of classmates who have never married and who went alone. These people didn't date much in high school, either, but I know I was more interested in hearing about their current careers than their personal lives, and I'll bet most people felt the same way.

Good luck to you. I know reunions are stressful situations, but I really think you should go it alone and just enjoy reconnecting with your old friends.

[scottcsmith]

5. I hated my reunion

My 20-year is coming up soon. The 10-year reunion was just awful. Basically everyone there was trying to show-off on how much they'd accomplished in life, what kind of money they were making, the degrees they had earned, and anything else to make themselves look good. I am not planning on attending my 20-year.

You should just be yourself. Don't give a rat's ass about what other people might think. As surly and cynical as I am, I did find a couple of old classmates to sit down with, have a beer and get caught up on life.

Frankly, paying a woman to go with you to the prom is, IMHO, a very bad idea. Just go and have some fun and remember that you will not have to deal with this group of individuals again for another decade.

[Sting]

8. I feel your pain, my friend..

I too am shy. Last night at the bar, I was too shy to dance w/ a girl I'm head over heels for. I regret it now. The point is, we have to overcome that damn shyness thing. It sucks. I could use a few pointers on how to overcome that....

[Amomaly]

10. Drink more.

And don't go to your reunion. Reunions are bad.

[nuxvomica]

9. If you think you're nervous, think of how everyone else must be

I attended my 20th many years ago and it wasn't at all about showing people up. Most of us hadn't seen each other in years and we were just so happy to get together again that no one's status, whether social, economic, avoirdupois or otherwise, mattered. And I wasn't even popular in school but had a great time. What you'll find, even after a measly ten years, is that people have grown up and moved beyond those types of expectations. Please go by yourself and have a good time. These people are your friends. :thumbsup:

[populistmom]

11. There are worse things than going alone

I was nervous about mine too. I didn't feel as attractive at the time as I did when I was younger, but overall, everyone was very nice, even people who were less than nice when I was in high school. My husband, however, who is in recovery, or at least was and is supposed to be given his history, decided he was nervous and ended up drinking too much that night, shooting his mouth off in nonsensical ways, and it was pretty embarrassing in all honesty for me. (He was sober for almost 8 years-including when I married him and when we had our children- then has spent a number of years on and off the wagon which wasn't what I signed on for really.) He might get pissed if he knew I wrote this because he thinks I spend ALL my time here saying mean things about him (I don't), but it's the truth and he knows how I feel about it already.

It would have been much easier to have gone alone. Unless you know your date will be top notch, go alone without worry. I remember the biggest hunky dude from my class was there at the 10th alone.

[Another Bill C.]

12. Just go.

Zero in on the guys you liked to hang out with in high school and you'll find they're the guys you want to hang out with at the reunion.

You might find, too, that some of the women you didn't notice in school are really looking good as they mature and are still single.

Don't worry about impressing anyone. At my twenty-fifth reunion I listed my occupation as Dishwasher at Ralph's Good Eats. I had a lot of fun at that one.

[SheilaT]

15. At the 10th

a lot of people haven't yet gotten over what they were in high school.

I never dated in high school, was still single ten years later, and did go to that reunion and it was okay. The next one I went to was my 35th (gasp!) and that was much more fun, because now we're all middle aged and don't give a fig for what most people think of us. Most interesting to me was that I could recognize all the girls (women now) because we all look like the middle-aged versions of our high school selves. I could not recognize a single one of the guys. It was bizarre.

Try not to live up to anyone's expectations, expcept maybe your own. You can always lie a lot. I think a lot of people do that. Rent "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" to ease your tension.

[NJCher]

16. ahem, the statistics on American marriages...

At my reunion, all the fat people were now skinny and all the skinny people were now fat.

Practically everyone was on their second marriage or had just knocked off the first so nothing to worry about there. Remember the fab statistics for American marriages; something like over half of them end in divorce. All those people will be feeling like the failures and they won't have time to think about you, who is smart enough not to be paying alimony and child support.


Cher

p.s. Bill C, at his reunion, my brother listed his occupation: "sell waterbeds in the day, do brain surgery at night."

[Lefty48197]

17. Go alone and feel good about it

I just went to my 20th last year, and I'm still single. It was the best party I've ever been to. About 300 people, and I must have known 250 of them.