My co-worker stabbed me in the back today.

[Scout1071]

She and I spend a great deal of time together. This morning we had been discussing a sensitive work situation that was followed by an email conversation (I know, I probably shouldn't do that on company email).

Anyway, a short time later I walk down the hall to grab something off the printer when I notice she is in my other co-worker's office with the door closed. I instantly had that kind of office "Spidey sense" that made me think they were talking about me. Don't know why.

Fast forward about 15 minutes when I ask co-worker #2 to look at something on a zip disk for me. You see, it's a bit of antiquated technology and I no longer have one. Co-worker #2 has the only one hooked up in the office and I need a picture of something off an old zip disk. He tells me to go ahead and use his computer for a minute.

I push in the disk, locate the pic and go to his Outlook to email the picture to myself when I see an email from Co-worker #1. She has forwarded him my entire private conversation with her.

I was furious. Incredible Hulk kind of furious. I calmly waited another hour and asked her if she wanted to go to lunch. Something we do most days. When I confronted her with it, she tried to make up some lame story. I just told her to stop. Her lame story was making it worse. She reluctantly confessed and apologized, then quickly tried to change the subject.

What would you have done?

I feel totally betrayed. I work in a small office of a mega-conglomerate. It is a small group of people (5-6) and we have to spend about 60-70 hours a week together. I can't even get away from them......unless I leave. Which I think I've decided to do after 7 years at this company and 12 in the industry.

[Redstone]

1. Do it. Seven years is long enough.

Time for something new.

Redstone

[Scout1071]

4. I couldn't agree with you more.

Have any idea how I can get paid to stay home and chat on DU and DKos all day?

I'm flexible, I don't have to work from home all the time. I can head down the street to the local coffee house every now and again.

[Redstone]

5. If you find out how to do that, let me know.

But don't tell everyone else, OK?

Redstone

[Kerrytravelers]

2. You can never trust her again, for as long as you have to stay.

I can't give you good advice because I don't know how easily it'll be to find another job or your financial situation. However, I'd be looking to get out, personally, but I don't like confrontation and awkward situations. I have enough of those with my in-laws, I certainly don't want that in the workplace, too.

[Scout1071]

3. I'm going.

I would leave tomorrow if financially possible.

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. So sorry you had this happen!

Only you can decide if it's time to leave that company or time to stay longer and just know that you can't trust that person anymore, and keep on working and maintain your professionalism...(sometimes that in itself can change things.)

Meanwhile...kill her with kindness. Had a co-worker go nasty on me a few years back..an in-house who gets which space deal. I got the space she wanted...wasn't my decision...

Anyway, I made sure I always said Hi to her in the AM or whenever I saw her....eventually, she had to deal with me, and she was pretty sheepish and started going out of her way to be friends again.

[Scout1071]

9. I don't have the energy any longer.

I'm totally drained. I cried on the way home. Just from anger and exhaustion. I have a tendency to cry when I get really mad. Weird, but true.

My resume goes online by tomorrow night. It needs a little dusting off and updating, but it will be ready to roll by tomorrow.

It's been a longtime coming, but it is scary because I know that I am essentially deciding to change careers. Guess it's time to see if the grass really is greener.

But you are right. I am absolutely done trusting either one of them.

[Ariana Celeste]

11. That's not so weird...

Crying when angry, I mean- I do the same thing. It's how I release the anger, and also because, it takes so much to make me angry that when someone pisses me off it hurts, too.

Sorry you have to deal with this. :hug:

Good luck with however you decide to handle this!!

[Scout1071]

13. Thanks. There is some form of mourning too.

It's difficult to let go of something when you've put so much time into it. It's like realizing in your core that it's time to leave a long term relationship. Now I feel sad, but serene. And ready for the future.

[Whoa_Nelly]

12. Good luck!! Will be thinking of you!

And, even though I didn't say it, you sure caught it...I never did trust that co-worker again, no matter how hard she tried to be sincere after the BS she tried to put me through.

Now....



Sending you Lounge Luck! Good Vibes! for finding a new position in a place you will enjoy!

[BikeWriter]

7. I'm so sorry you have that to contend with, my Friend.

:hug:

[bif]

8. I'd have her killed

Sorry. Just kidding. That must be a horrible situation to be in.You can find a better job. Just don't quit first.

[Scout1071]

10. I left the office for about 10 minutes and went out to my car I was

so angry. That is when I made the decision to get her out of the office to confront her. I wasn't sure I was going to keep my cool.

[Skittles]

14. I would have kicked her ass good

no excuse for that sh**

[Scout1071]

15. It's feckin' mean and rude.

And yet just 45 minutes later she was able to walk out the door for lunch with me and smile and babble all the way through lunch until I confronted her.

I went along with it, but fantasized about beyotch slapping her across the table.

[Skittles]

21. I should kick your ass for going along with it

yes INDEED :o

[Scout1071]

24. I think she sensed something was wrong and

started babbling. She babbled even more after being confronted. I knew inside she felt like shit and was terribly uncomfortable. I found solace in that.

[UrbScotty]

16. 1: Tell the boss. 2: Line up a new job. (nt)

[Scout1071]

18. The boss sucks.

I'm out. There is no turning back now.

[UrbScotty]

19. Try his/her boss. (nt)

[graywarrior]

17. Work betrayals. Bad.

New job. Good.

I like everyone I work with. Do I trust them by letting them know what I really think about one another's personalities? Never.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. Backstabbers truly do suck

I'm glad you confronted her. It's fun watching conniving backstabbers squirm.

[WilliamPitt]

22. Was the "sensitive work situation" you bagging on the boss?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

That totally sucks. I hate offices and office politics bullshit with a volcanic multi-supoernova seething I-get-queasy-even-thinking-about-it breed of all-encompassing rage. I started working in offices - almost entirely law firms - when I was 16. Mail room, deliveries (that was actually fun), copy room, low-end IT guy, I was actually a receptionist for a San Francisco law firm for the first nine months I lived out there, and then a paralegal, and then a litigation paralegal.

Did a lot of trials, and that was cool. Got to fiddle with a lot of technology and software, and that was cool. Even got to travel a little bit, and that was cool. But the tall building/cubicle/elevators to get anywhere/awful office artwork/crappy Souper Salad lunches every day/FUCKING ASSHATS WHO WORK IN PLACES LIKE THAT phenomenon was among the most depressing, desensitizing, annoying period of my life to date. I ejected in 2000 and I am never, never going back.

[Scout1071]

23. I'm on the launch pad and just looking for that big red button.

I have a financial commitment for the next two weeks, but I am free to leave after that - as soon as I find another gig. As my dad said to me, "The first rule of wing walking is never let go of what you're holding onto until you've got a hold on something else."

I don't care of I go out selling widgets next month, I'm done with that mayhem and schedule. Pisses me off thinking how many hours I've put into that job over the last 7 years. 60-70 hours a week. Every week.

I can't wait to feel that weight off my shoulders. I've got a terrific bottle of wine in my kitchen and I'm going to savor every last drop the day I quit.

Edited to update that quote!

[WilliamPitt]

25. Here you go

:toast:

[Scout1071]

26. My eyes literally "lit up" when I saw that thing.

It will be sweet to leave. I'm so committed that I actually started sorting out files, cleaning up my desk and even discreetly bringing home some personal belongings. I plan to keep it up over the next few days in between full-time job hunting and resume tweaking.