Do you believe in soulmates?

[tjdee]

I would like to believe there is more than one person for everyone, if only because my "soulmate" or whatever is not with me and may never be. I can't imagine finding that final-puzzle-piece-clicking, this-is-absolutely-the-one-I'm-supposed-to-be-with feeling with anyone else though. I'm no spring chicken, that sort of thing doesn't happen everyday.

I've obviously dated since, and maybe I'll marry someone who is great...but *that* feeling? Don't know.

Maybe I'll get some nice dogs and cats.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. Relationships are damn hard work.

The trouble with terms like "soulmate", "true love", yadayada is that they imply that the feeling is so "right" that everything else comes easily.

We slap so many identifying labels on ourselves; and all they do is bog us down within whatever preconceived notions those labels conjure. We'd be better off to dispense with the labels, take a good look at the person we're considering a commitment with, and just make it work.

[tjdee]

9. That's the catch though: We *could* make a relationship work with anyone.

I've made other relationships work pretty nicely, but none of them *fit* as well as this particular one I'm talking about. People tend to do that sometimes, just get into a relationship, work out most of the kinks, and figure hey let's get married. But there was an entirely different dimension that simply wasn't there with other people.

I do know what you mean about the labels and getting hung up on the goo goo gaa gaa of "true love" and the sparklies and the violin music, and I agree... Hmm.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. That's why it takes a serious look at the potential partner.

And we have to be brave enough to be ourselves around that person...not necessarily on "our best behavior". This isn't to say that we should act disrespectfully; but that we need to come to terms with our own bad habits, and not make too much of an effort to disguise them.

Some will make you feel comfortable enough to let your warts show. Those are the ones that show more promise of long-term happiness than others.

One of the things I often hear unhappily-partnered or divorced people say is "S/He changed!" Well, duh, yeah...we all change. It's evolution. It's growing-up. And growing old. We need to ask ourselves early on if we can deal with those changes. Would we still love this person if they got fat? What if they had an accident, and we couldn't have sex with them anymore, or it left them disfigured? Will we be able to deal with the mid-life crises? The menopause? The mentalpause?

Sometimes we won't be able to deal with it, no matter how hard we try, even if we were certain that this was Ms/Mr Soulmate so many years ago.
There's no sense kicking ourselves over it. And there's no point in thinking this was the only relationship that could have ever worked forever; because there's no way of knowing that. :)

[u4ic]

2. I believe in soul mates

but not as 'the one'; these are the people one learns their greatest life lessons from. They may not be romantic partners at all.

[Bunny]

6. Sort of like people in your spirit group?

I believe in the same thing that you do.

[u4ic]

17. I think we often meet up

with the same people in different lives, yes. (though I don't believe everyone I know now is someone who I have past ties to. A few, yes)

I can't stop staring at your bunny. He is soooooooooooooooo cute! :loveya:

[Bunny]

20. Yeah, I think we tend to cycle through lives with the same basic

group of people, in varying configurations, and not always for the best (at least in material terms).

And yes, the bunny is certainly cute, but it ain't mine. I just got the pic from the internet! :hi:

[Beaverhausen]

3. I think there can be more than one soulmate out there for everyone

I think I am with my soulmate now, but that doesn't mean that there aren't other men out there who i wouldn't also call my soulmate if I had met them first.

[tjdee]

10. So you could have been with anyone, and it would have been as good?

You're not saying that, are you?

[Beaverhausen]

14. I think we can be compatible with more than one person on this planet

I mean, it wouldn't be the same but it might be good nonetheless.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

4. I didn't used to.

Until I met someone that thinks the way I think, wants what I want, and that I find so damned sexy I can hardly stand it. We're both a bit off-kilter in many ways (boringly suburban in others), so we've both found it hard to have relationships without a shitload of self-compromise in the process, but not with one another. It's sane and grown-up and passionate as Hell all at once. We still have to work sometimes and communicate, but the point is that together, we can.

I suppose if something happened to him, I wouldn't be a nun forever. It just would never be so good either. I was married once and my ex never quite felt like the one. I suppose the same goes for other past loves. I tried my best every time with every man I've ever cared for, but it never felt quite right. This does.

[tjdee]

13. See, that's what I mean!

I think people try to talk themselves out of the "soulmate" stuff because of the reasons Goddess of Guiness(I think?) said.

You lucky duck!

[Iniquitous Bunny]

19. I've been otherwise intensely in love.

It's takes more than that to make a long-standing relationship in the practical sense. Then again, I don't think good relationships lack that element of intensity at times either. It's not either/or, but both that I need personally. It just never came together like this for me. Different people need and want different things though, so there really is no absolutes here, just one's own preferences. :)

[Alleycat]

5. People change throughout their lives

therefore I believe we can encouter soul mates in each stage. Who might have been a soulmate 20 years ago may not be the perfect one now.

Those who are lucky enough to fall in love and work through the stages together are blessed indeed.

I am still hoping that I will find someone to spend my life with. I don't know if it will happen and that's fine but I am certainly open to a long term relationship again.

[tjdee]

12. There's something to that, I think.

I think you need different things at different ages... I do have to say in my case we didn't get to test that.

That makes me feel a little better!

[Orangepeel]

7. soul mates are simply compatible people who want to be together

I can't imagine anyone as perfect for me as my husband, but we love each other because we both want to love each other, not because of destiny or fate.

[MrScorpio]

8. I do believe in soulmates

When you meet yours, you'll believe in them too

[tjdee]

11. I met mine, that's the problem.

:(

[Texasgal]

15. Love fucking STINKS.

Period. :P

[Beaverhausen]

16. my favorite movie quote- from Moonstruck: love don't make things nice

"Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!"

[hunter]

18. I'm one of the lucky ones.

It happened just like The Princess Bride.

But I'm certain "there is more than one person for everyone."

I have friends and relatives whose friendships eventually blossomed into true love, sometimes after many years.

If you don't experience the fire right away, thats where you start, with friendships. It seems to me that relationships founded upon raw sexual attraction without the friendship are very unstable.

[Magrittes Pipe]

22. No, I don't -- but I think I found mine, anyway.

Yeah, it's self-contradictory. I admit that. Nonetheless, it's how I feel.

It's been very correctly stated above that relationships are damn hard work, and not just about "clicking." But the way I feel when I look in her eyes is what makes that work worth it.

[ET Awful]

23. I used to believe in them.

However, that belief was, if not shattered, at least badly cracked, a little over 7 years ago.

Suffice it to say that when I thought I'd found it, and believed that completely, either I was wrong, or I was right and the whole concept was wrong. I don't know, but I can honestly say I no longer believe. My romanticism took a brutal blow.

[xmas74]

24. I'd ;ove to think so.

Right now I'd rather stare at a select few.

[RevolutionaryActs]

25. I believe in soulmates, but not necessarily in a romantic way.

I believe friends can be soulmates, and brothers and sisters and so on. I think we all have people who are special to us, and I believe those are our soulmates. :)


Or maybe I'm just crazy? :shrug:

[miss_american_pie]

26. Well if you're crazy, so am I

I think you can connect quickly and intimately on some deeper level with certain people in a way that has nothing to do with sex.

And I think trying to have a relationship with those people might not always be such a good idea.

Want adjoining rooms in the asylum? ;)

[bertha katzenengel]

27. I have two soulmates. My beloved, Mrs. V. And my best friend,

West Coast H (his nickname since I moved. I'm East Coast H.).

I love my sisters, and they too are my best friends, but these two people are my soulmates.

It's not all about romantic love. For me, anyway.