How to dress for a funeral - can I wear color?

[helderheid]

I have a funeral to attend this afternoon and plan on wearing a black skirt and jacket but wondered if color is acceptable? I have a pink blouse I wanted to wear with it but don't want to be offensive. Anyone know?

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. That's not offensive. People don't always follow the "wear black" rule

anymore. I usually wear a sweater of some color and a black skirt. I think you will be fine. :hi:

[helderheid]

2. thanks! Last place I want to offend anyone!!

:hi:

[AllegroRondo]

3. Keep in mind who the funeral is for.

What would they have wanted?

When Jim Henson died, he asked that no one wear black at his funeral.

[helderheid]

4. It's a tough call. It's for a still born of a mom on my online local mom's

list.

[Bunny]

5. Your outfit sounds perfectly acceptable.

Sorry you have to go through this, though. :cry:

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. That'll be fine, as long as it isn't a flourescent pink

since the jacket and skirt are black, you're fine.

[SOteric]

21. And, of course, as long as it isn't spandex with a plunging neckline,

or see-through sheer with strategically placed sequins.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. and a big "PABST - IT'S FOR BREAKFSAT!" applique

typo included.

[hedgehog]

7. When I went to my uncle's funeral, I wore black and so did all

the young women who would have been in his grand children's generation, but all the older women were wearing every color of the rainbow. I was the only woman over 30 wearing black. I couldn't figure it out at first until I realized that the grand children's friends liked to dress Goth and only had black clothes!

[helderheid]

8. I'm sorry for your loss but that is a funny story!

[hedgehog]

9. It was a good funeral

He was in his 80's but there were a lot of young people there because they all knew him well. The other interesting change was that the older women all wore pants - it was winter and no way were they wearing a dress in that weather! How times have changed!

In general, I'd guess that the rules are stricter the smaller the town and the further South it is.

On a lighter topic, my daughter thinks I'm cute because I won't wear white or black to a wedding.

[helderheid]

10. :) I was the same way until I lived in Holland - white wedding dresses are

not as common there and some even wear black wedding dresses! Wearing black to a wedding there is considered dressing formal! :)

[azmouse]

11. My grandmother wore a soft-printed floral dress

to my grandfather's funeral. She said he never liked black and she wasn't going to wear it.

[RevCheesehead]

12. Dress in a way so as to NOT call attention to yourself.

And remember that most people aren't going to be looking at you. If you're comfortable with that, you'll be fine.

[Orsino]

13. I think that one spot of color should be perfectly appropriate.

That's the rule I recall.

[pitohui]

14. well it would sure offend me

but i wouldn't say anything to your face just behind your back so you'd probably never know

it's one day, the last time the person will be above ground on this earth

the pink blouse can freakin wait

[helderheid]

15. dayum why not tell me how you really feel! The reason I asked is that I

thought the rules had changed over the years and I didn't want to be the only one head to toe in black. I appreciate your perspective.

[helderheid]

16. by the way, I put on a black freakin sweater ;) Thanks again

[In_The_Wind]

22. Pastels are sweet. I wouldn't mind if someone wore pink at my funeral.

[Xithras]

17. You don't need to wear black, but keep the colors muted.

Unless you're going to an Irish wake, wearing bright colors to a funeral is generally considered tacky.

[hedgehog]

18. Regardless of what you wear,

bless you for being there and recognizing this loss.

[In_The_Wind]

19. The pink blouse will be just fine. Go ahead and wear it.

[Critters2]

20. When I do funerals

I generally notice that family members are likely to wear black, but others in attendance wear whate ver they're comfortable with. As with a wedding, the main thing is to not draw attention to yourself. Anything that would be appropriate for a Sunday morning church service is probably fine.

At my mother's funeral, my dad and I were the only ones wearing black. I was okay with that, except that my aunt (who would be the one to draw attention to herself) wore this REALLY bright pink dress that was cut a bit too low for a woman her age. I kept hearing my mom saying "she WOULD dress like that!".

So, don't dress like that :)

[LeftyMom]

23. A small amount of muted color is okay

It's hard to tell without looking if pink would detract from the generally somber tone of a funerary outfit enough to matter. Autumn and winter colors would be better choices to break up the unrelieved black, IMO.

[xmas74]

24. Depends on the funeral.

Soft colors that are muted or pastels are fine at a funeral if paired w/ black. A good example is a man would wear a nice suit(whether black, dark grey, dark brown or dark blue) w/ a white or light colored shirt. The best rule of thumb for modern-day funerals-dress as you would in a professional office setting. The key is not in the color, as long as it is appropriate for the office. Just dress conservatively-no loud beaded necklaces that you made in an arts and crafts class and a funeral is not the time to try on a new scarf that a friend brought you from Mexico.

On that note: I attended the funeral of a friend a couple of years ago. She lost her battle to cancer and made a final request to everyone who loved her. The request was to wear as many bright colors as possible to her funeral-clash if necessary. She wanted color, prints, stripes-the whole nine yards. She said that her life included the entire color spectrum and she wanted every color in attendence there as a way to represent her life. I wore the one color I refuse to wear in RL to her funeral because she requested that specific color from me-red.

Traditional funeral dressing is easy. That funeral was hard to dress for.

[bumblebee1]

25. I wore a blue dress with a small floral print to my MIL's funeral.

This was a dress that would also be appropriate to wear to work in an office. However, it looked like a maternity dress on me. I lost a lot of weight since I bought the dress.

[auntAgonist]

26. Just being there

for your friend and her family, is much more important than anything you wear.

It was a lovely thing you did in attending.

aA

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. And I realize the one question no one asked - culture of deceased?

That also has some bearing, fi they are Chinese or Japanese, or European, blah blah blah.

I would assume you are talking generic white/American culture, otherwise I imagine you would have asked specifically "I'm going to a Chinese funeral and don't know what to wear!"

But I will say that wearing a blood-stained muumuu decorated with swastikas, dirty word embroidery, and stiching of headless teddy bears is always inappropriate, no matter the culture.