A friend of mine is being stalked

[TrogL]

A friend of mine is being bothered by someone she knew from high school years ago. He phones her cell constantly and even phones her at work. When in high school, she had to take out a restraining order against him because he wouldn't leave her along. Even that didn't stop him. He quit after her brother beat him up.

She's told him she's in a relationship and wants to be left alone but he is under the delusion that she's in a relationship with him even though he hasn't seen her face-to-face in several years.

She'd take out a restraining order, but it would have her home address on her and just add to the problems. As it stands he doesn't know where she lives.

Any (legal) ideas on how to make him stop?

[MissMillie]

1. Will the cell phone company let her change phone numbers?

Or would they require a restraining for that....

[anarch]

2. bah...damn disclaimer about it being "legal"

That sucks. I can't think of any legal solutions, though. Her brother ought to beat the guy up again...as a kind of reminder. I'm glad he doesn't know where she lives!

[LeftyMom]

3. Can she block his numbers?

If that doesn't work, I say get the TRO and a gun. Wait for him to show up, get him arrested. If he makes threats or tries to break in, shoot him.

Stalkers are fucking crazy. My mother and I have both had to deal with it (hers actually went to jail, but only after he tried to kill her) and if I had to deal with the situation again, I'd have shot the fucker.

[Lochloosa]

4. Report this to the police NOW!

They will advice her on what to do.

And tell her to start keeping a diary of every encounter with him. This can be important in a criminal case should it come to that.

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. Yup! Best advice by Lochloosa!

Report to police, keep a log, and note dates times from cell phone calls, nad duration 9should she actually answer the call).

And get a very big dog Borrow one!!. Shepherds and shep mixes are awesome, as well as labs or golden retriever mixes. Those have been some of the best home defense loving animals I have ever had the pleasure to call family or friend.

[Swede]

5. Call the cops.

She needs documented proof of this. The police and the phone company will have a number to call after every harassing call,it is then documented.

[Maddy McCall]

6. Another protective order?

He's sick. Nothing she or anyone else tells him will convince him that he's delusional.

Protective orders in many states today have much more teeth than in the past. These days, he can be arrested for calling her, if it states in her protective order that he cannot call her.

[WolverineDG]

7. agree with calling cops

make a record of each time he calls. have an officer make a report, noting everything s/he sees in the call history on the phone. maybe he'll call when the cop is there & the cop can tell him to cut it out. sometimes, that's all it takes.

also, at least in my state, if there's a need to keep your address confidential, it will be left out of the protective order.

dg

[TrogL]

10. Call diary in progress

If they can keep the address out of the restraining order, that's what we'll do.

[Love Bug]

8. She should not talk to him at all, even to tell him to leave her alone

Every time she speaks with him, even to just tell him to leave her alone it rewards his efforts to get her attention. She should cut off any communication with him and let the police handle it.

Amen to the restraining order, too.

[hobo_baggins]

9. Is his name Woogie?

[Blue-Jay]

11. Yeah? What's her address and phone number?

[philosophie_en_rose]

12. Some courts will keep the address confidential.

There is no reason for anyone other than the cops to have her address and phone number. She should check out the paperwork or call a victim service agency to be sure that her address would be included.

[Kerrytravelers]

13. Go to the police ASAP.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

14. Stalkers suck

I dated a girl for awhile who's ex was stalking her, and told her that he would carry a lead pipe in his trunk and beat anyone he saw her with. I joked with her that it was over between us.

Don't hesitate to call the cops. You've got to remember that police hate nothing more than a guy harrassing some girl, and if he becomes well known to them, especially if you are in a small(er) sized town, they'll make his life miserable.