Dictionary Of Republicanisms

[Left Is Write]

From The Nation:

*Dictionary of Republicanisms*

KATRINA VANDEN HEUVEL

Burning bush n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of
the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has not been
paid to inquire

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils

China n. See Wal-Mart

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by
the oceans

compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy

creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a
chimpanzee is totally coincidental

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint

democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is
depleted

energy independence n. The caribou witness relocation program

extraordinary rendition n. Outsourcing torture

faith n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values
despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary

Fox News fict. Faux news

free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense

girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately

God n. Senior presidential adviser

growth n. 1 The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens
to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich

habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot
Act)

healthy forest n. No tree left behind

homelandism n. A neologism for love of the Homeland Security State, as in
"My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty..."

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on
the march"

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5
million (See Senate)

laziness n. When the poor are not working

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist

neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if
unrelated (See Deficit, Iraq War)

No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military
2. n. The rapture

ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population
controls 90 percent of the wealth

Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent
the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of
the reasons why they hate us

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million

simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors

staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing
over and over, regardless of the result

stuff happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian

voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout

Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense

water n. Arsenic storage device

woman n. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with
whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place

[UrbScotty]

1. I got that book for Christmas

[Redstone]

2. She's a damn good writer.

Redstone