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and I asked him..."So when did you wake up and decide you liked girls?"
He thought about it for a minute and said, "I don't think I ever decided anything about it."
"Yeah, I said. Same here. I like girls. So what gives people the idea that it's a choice?"
I think I surprise some people by being so open-minded about the question. My wife and I went to the Pride parade in Seattle last year and, when I told a co-worker about it, she seemed a little shocked. She's a good person, but has been rather sheltered in a lot of ways. Not in ways that would've made HER safer, but ways that kinda kept her from learning about things she should've had the opportunity to discover for herself.
Anyway. She asked me, "what if one of your boys turned out gay? Would you be okay with that?"
I shrugged. "Why not?" I asked her.
Then she asked "What would you say to him if he told you he was gay?"
"Be careful," I replied.
She nodded. She still seemed a little shocked, but starting to get it. I don't consider it a "choice" and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I know it's not necessarily an easy "lifestyle" and there are a few inherent dangers that are a little more immediate than that of an ordinary heterosexual male. HIV and AIDS, for example.
Not that I wouldn't tell him to use a condom if he told me he was having sex with girls. I'd just weigh the odds of something going wrong a little differently.
Gays don't bother me. Bible thumpers bother me far worse. We were talking about them today... Apparently her father is dating a "very religious" woman right now (her mother died 4 months ago and this is a source of a lot of inner and outer conflict anyway) and the rest of her family is expected to kow-tow to this woman's attitudes. As I pointed out, a lot of the extremely religious types are hiding some pretty twisted shit inside themselves, as if only by being almost obnoxious with their expectations of others can they deal with what resides inside themselves.
Apparently her husband feels the same way about them.
All I have to say is that I'd much rather have a son who was gay than a one who was a bible thumper. Not like the latter is very likely, considering his mother is an eclectic pagan type and I'm...well, whatever the hell I am. Semi-agnostic pantheistic humanist?
They don't live with me, but the last thing anyone's going to get away with is pushing Christianity in their faces. Anyone who tried would be lucky to escape without being flayed alive by their mother, who has one of the sharpest tongues I've ever encountered.
When it comes down to it, I think the main gist of their messiah's message was "don't be an asshole" and "mind your own business."
Not that they're listening to HIM.
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