Things to be thankful for if you are:
John Ashcroft: Everyone seems to have forgotten that political race where you lost to a dead guy.
The CIA Leak: John Ashcroft has promised to find you.
The Anthrax Mailer: John Ashcroft has promised to find you.
Sen. Trent Lott: Hairspray.
Hannity and Colmes: Your show has tied "The O'Reilly Factor" for highest-rated cable news show.
Bill O'Reilly: You are now contractually allowed to kill Alan Colmes and blame it on Bill Clinton.
Ann Coulter: New technology is making it easier and easier to churn out barely researched books and screech divisive hate speech to large audiences. Also, the Atkins diet.
William Bennett: Slot machines and cheap flights to Vegas.
Rush Limbaugh: Good help around the house. And good, old-fashioned hypocrisy.
Lynne Cheney: Celebrating all major holidays with husband at undisclosed location saves you from dreaded trips to the in-laws.
Vice President Cheney: Being the leader of the free world.
Tony Blair: President Bush's three-day visit reminds British citizens that no matter how bad things seem…they could always be worse.
Gov. Schwarzenegger: No better place to combat time-traveling robots than from governor's mansion in Sacramento.
Rep. Darrell Issa: Millions you spent funding recall wasn't a total loss – at least now the whole country found out about your multiple arrests.
Scott McClellan: You are thankful for whatever the president is thankful for. Which is whatever Karl Rove tells him. Unless a non-Fox News Channel reporter breaks this news, in which case they're lying.
Donald Rumsfeld: Are you thankful for rhetorical questions? Absolutely.
Richard Perle: Admitting that Iraq War was illegal now means being forced to step down as Chair of Defense Policy Board is the second most embarrassing thing to happen this year.
Rep. Tom DeLay: All this mess in the White House really obscures your PAC improprieties. Also, hair tips from Trent Lott.
Condoleezza Rice: Boy people sure forgot about those intelligence failures pretty quickly, didn't they?
George Tenet: Boy people sure forgot about those intelligence failures pretty quickly, didn't they?
Osama bin Laden: President Bush has promised to find you.
Saddam Hussein: President Bush has promised to find you.
Karl Rove: That someone bothered to save and publish Machiavelli's writings.
Pat Robertson: For the State Department. And nuclear bombs.
Jerry Falwell: That you're only the second craziest member of the Religious Right.
Halliburton: Blatant cronyism.
Tom Ridge: Duct tape.
George H.W. Bush: Compared to this mess, "Read my lips: No new taxes," sure doesn't seem like a big deal anymore, does it?
Colin Powell: That all those years of military training gave you plenty of practice in the art of not disagreeing with orders.
President Bush: Spell-checker, Teleprompters, Audio/Visual editing equipment, and PR handlers.
http://www.bushrecall.org/DailyRealityCheck.asp?ID=24
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