RFC: my entry for Landover Baptist Personal Testimony contest

[TheBaldyMan]

Landover Baptist - Is having the 175th Annual Personal Testimony Contest

this is my entry and would be grateful for any comments aand suggestions.

*** WARNING GRAPHIC SEXUAL INNUENDO FOLLOWS ***

Dear Pastor,

My name is Geoff Gannon and I would like to witness my evil life before I was saved by none other than Gods Own President George W. Bush.

Having been a cissy from a very young age having been turned that way by some godless liberal public school teacher I naturally gravitated towards the cesspool of all vice, Washington DC. Here I worked as an under age hooker for all the bureaucrats and democratic politicians. The work was lucrative, not being a fat jewish girl I never made it to the Oval Office but did have a thriving trade with lobbyists, representatives and Federal Reserve boardmembers.

The tide was about to change, in 2000 God's Own President was duly selected as leader of the free world. Business was slower with less democrats in town but there were enough of the gay mafia in the media world to take up the slack. It was at one of the Press Corps orgies that I met with one of the sluttiest nancy boys in Washington, John Roberts whose personal kink was to indulge in libidinous behavior behind the pot plants in the press lobby. It was while I was providing something 'extra' that God's Own President discovered us in mid-frottage. It proved to be a turning point in my life.

The President castigated us both for our ungodly act, said that we were heading down the road to hell and insisted that he take me under his wing to save me. It wasn't easy after all that pansy brainwashing but the President refused to give up. He personally arranged that I could have access to his personal quarters at any time day or night. To avoid suspicion I would dress in full Marine dress uniform whenever I visited the WH. He showed me the horrors of the gay lifestyle and regularly demonstrated the degrading and foul practices that would damn me forever. It usually started with a nude wrestling and photography session, with the blood still dripping from his rug-burns he would scream at me "See how disgusting this behavior is" as he waved the 10"x 6" glossies in my face. Then after only 147 visits to the WH, as we were snorting coke out of each others man cooters, the spirit touched me and I was saved.

I am now a regular church goer and ex-pansy, President Bush fixed me up with a job in the Press Corps, even supplying me with pre-printed questions to help me find my feet. He is a True Christian, God bless him.