Banned from an online hang-out. Should I give it a second chance?

[BlueIris]

As some of you may recall, months ago, I was temporarily banned from a message board at which I posted frequently. It focused on pop culture and entertainment. The reason? Being too negative, and displaying an inappropriately misanthropic tone in my posts. Apparently, other users were complaining. I was not told that any complaints had been lodged, and no one communicated with me about the need to scale back my posting tone before they made the decision to kick me off. Normally, I would never think twice about returning to a place that I feel treated me in such an unfair manner, but...I kinda miss it. A lot of sweet, witty folks frequent that site. There's one more complication: the person who clicked the button for the banning was the site's creator. It would be one thing if I had had a bad experience with only one moderator, but--she's the de-facto owner. She also has a serious mental disorder, which I feel may have been a factor in why she dealt so harshly and abruptly with me. While I have compassion for whatever role her mental health played in the banning, if I returned, I would always be concerned that she would just be waiting to flip out on me or axe me again. And in general, while I'd love to communicate with other users at that site again, the fact that the owner herself doesn't want me around is a little hurtful and daunting. If it were you, would you go back? I checked this morning, and someone removed the mean Admin notes from my user profile, so that's something. I guess.

[BlueIris]

1. Interesting. I expected a polite but firm, "get over it, Iris," response.

Thanks for the support, Loungers.

[Beausoir]

2. I would never go back. This isn't ka-Bloom.org by any chance is it?

Sounds exactly like a site I used to frequent.

It's not worth it. There are MILLIONS of other sweet and witty folks on the internet.

Leave...never visit again and set out to find a new internet home. One that is a better fit for you.

[BlueIris]

8. Thanks for the advice. No, it's not ka-Boom.org. It's curious

that you would say "don't visit again." I'm kinda bitter that I even decided to cruise by the site, let alone log in, to check out its status. Couple of hits for the Imbalanced One that the site didn't deserve. I guess I'm not the only one who has had at least one unjustified banning experience.

[BlueIris]

10. It's a sad little place called Snarkfest. Stay the FUCK away from there.

Owned by someone who is hopelessly BATSHIT crazy, and no, I'm not referring to behaviors linked to her bi-polar disorder. Most of the bi-polar folks I know wouldn't think it was acceptable to be passive-aggressive assholes or intentionally hurt others. I feel sorry for those who continue to post at that shit hole. They leave themselves open for great personal harm.

[EstimatedProphet]

15. Uh, it sounds like you've already made up your mind...

[BlueIris]

17. Yeah, now I have. Feel free to ignore the poll, everyone.

Ugh. I simply couldn't be more disgusted.

[Floogeldy]

3. What a coincidence!

Every person who has ever banned me from a site has had a serious mental disorder, too.

Go figure.

;)

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. I've noticed that every person who disagrees with me

has a serious mental disorder.

[Floogeldy]

5. I should think so.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

6. Does that mean you agree?

Or that you should agree, but might not?

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. ROFLMCBO

You floor me... ROFLMCBO

[GrpCaptMandrake]

7. Hanging out with those of questionable sanity

calls one's own sanity into question.

Wait a minute . . .

:spray:

[BlueIris]

9. MAN. Thanks to this thread, I went back and looked at the messages

left for me by the moderator who banned me. DAAAAAAAAMN. Can you say, "fucked up"? She had obviously taken a dislike to me at some point, and wanted to set me up for a banning by not informing me that she, another mod, and other posters considered my comments to be inappropriate in some cases until she could justify smacking me around. The actual post informing me that my posting privileges had been temporarily removed isn't just harsh, it's cruel. She went out of her way to condescend to, insult and hurt me, and as a person with a reasonably thick skin, those aren't attitudes I would let get to me in most circumstances. I also looked at the apology from the other moderator who felt that the banning was too harsh a punishment for posts that were deemed objectionable by the site's owner on the basis of tone and content (although not even that person acknowledged that banning me without significant warning that my posting content was bothering others, or that what I was doing wasn't prohibited in any sense by the forum posting guidelines). That other moderator at least acknowledged that the owner was out of line, and that it was the kind of action that s/he knew could drive me away from the site forever. I would say I feel validated, having looked at that comment and the remarks in this thread, but--what the owner did seriously hurts.

On that note, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the moderators at DU for their overall fairness, sanity, and compassion for users here, even those who occasionally post extreme remarks about various issues. A mod here would never go out of his or her way to hurt someone, or to get someone banned. They're obviously healthy, fair-minded folks. Keep it up, mods!

[EstimatedProphet]

13. As a former mod

I would like to say that I know that the mod staff on this board always tries to be fair and even-minded. I know I always did. Although, sometimes it isn't easy.

[BlueIris]

19. I'm sure it's quite difficult to be fair and even-handed around here.

There are just so many topics in which a lot of emotional posts about deeply-held beliefs come up. But the thing I like about the mod team around here is that--unlike the board I've been posting about--the objective on DU seems to be to help people follow the rules, not help them not follow them in order to ban individuals the mods find undesirable. In other words, all of you are SANE, even under duress. Which I'm sure is a hard charge to live up to.

[hickman1937]

11. Did you get banned from TWoP?

Their becoming irrelevant anyway. Their show choices suck anymore.

[BlueIris]

12. No, as I posted above, it was a DHAK knock-off called Snarkfest.

Bizarrely, I've only been mildly burned by a TWoP mod once, and it didn't even result in a warning. Which is not to say I'm a fan of TWoP or its diseased staff, but--I actually think the nutjobs at Snarkfest are more mentally unstable, unfair and assholish. Have you been to TWoP Sucks? That's a GREAT site. It allows for a lot of meaningful discussion about what constitutes good, reasonable moderation of message boards. Love it. A Snarkfest mod frequents there, though, unfortunately, and he's constantly lording over everyone about the alleged terrificness of his territory, but other than that, AWESOME place.

[hickman1937]

16. Haven't been there. Do they do recaps?

I registered at Snarkfest and posted a couple of times(in defense of Emily and Richard Gilmore) and can't get in now. Screwem.

[BlueIris]

18. 'S far as I know, the Snarkfest I used to go to is just a message board.

With nasty, passive-aggressive, crazy people running it.