Yngwie

[asthmaticeog]

http://yngwie.org/gallery/Artwork.html





Wooden fiddlers enchant a balding maiden while giant Yngwie surveys the scene. "Rising Force," indeed!





Yngwie confronts his inner furvert.





Digital age turd polishing reaches a new -- but rockin' -- low.





Mostrarskegg offers Yngwie the Enchanted Chalice Sigrún, but stops to note that the sundial wristwatch probably isn't going to keep very reliable time, and if he can't wrap his mind around why, maybe the chalice will go to someone worthier, OK?





Sure kid, whatever gets you through detention. :eyes:

[eyepaddle]

1. This raises many, many questions,

such as why were over at Yngwie's site?

I've been to two concerts where Yngwie was the opneing act (one was AC/DC in 1985) and I have to admit, he's pretty dazzling but after ten minutes, you've pretty much seen (and heard) everything you're gonna get.

I do like playing that blistering fast guitar stuff though. Never really did the total hang of arpeggios though.

[maveric]

9. I've heard that his personality lacks much.

A friend saw him a couple of times and told me that he's a real fucking asshole on stage.

[eyepaddle]

10. It was hysterical

he started the G3 concert by asking us "Do you know what time it is? IT'S TIME TO ROCK!"

He always came across as a tool when I read those guitar magazines as a teen (back in the 80s)

Strangely, I just started doing "finger exercise guitar" again this last week, after pretty much ignoring it for YEARS. I'm a lot cleaner and faster than I was when it was a priority. Oh the irony.

I know damn well, that almost nobody wants to hear some guy blasting 32nds notes amd sweep picking and what not, I just feel compelled! I do think that kind of music would go well with the kayaking video I plan on shooting (well at this point mainly editing)

:headbang: \m/ \m/

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. I saw him, and that's the same thought I had -

I had a couple of his albums, and, while I knew he wasn't all that great - though he is fanstically fucking clear in his racing playing, which is a feat of skill well worth applauding and being in awe of - I was excited to hear him live.

And for me, too, it took about ten minutes and I was ready to have him off stage. He's a fucking brilliant guitar player, but an equally awful songwriter.

Satriani has the same problem - technically brilliant, but not creative enough to sustain himself. Though he's better than Yngwie in the creativity department.

[johnnie]

2. LOL " whatever gets you through detention"

That's funny.

Have a good New Year dude. Gotta get together soon for a few.

[asthmaticeog]

3. By Frifnïïr's sword, so mote it be.

Happy New Year's back at'cha, friend! A few would be most welcome.

[Susang]

4. Hmmm...wonder what's in that Enchanted Chalice?

Don't supposed it's water, do you? :evilgrin:

[asthmaticeog]

6. Clearest water, from the banks of the charmed river Stígandr.

It's magic is known from the misty hills of Bogsveigir to the dark plains of Njørl.

[Susang]

13. Well, that explains the hair

Only magic water from the misty hills of Bogsveigir can produce the follicular nimbus that is unique to Yngwie. He is truly blessed.

[darkstar]

25. follicular nimbus

nice one...

:toast:

[GirlinContempt]

5. Furries and fantasy metal

together at last

:puke:

[asthmaticeog]

7. Please, that's hardly a new combination!

[GirlinContempt]

8. CLEARLY I HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT

I think he's yiffy for her


:scared: :puke:

[ghostsofgiants]

11. This thread makes baby Jesus cry.

Though I must admit, the painting where "Mostrarskegg offers Yngwie the Enchanted Chalice Sigrún" is fucking badass.

[Blue-Jay]

12. "_____ makes baby Jesus cry" makes baby Jesus cry.

[ghostsofgiants]

14. Meanie.

[jpgray]

53. It's pretty cool. Dude has a lot of horns on his drawers. (nt)

[no name no slogan]

15. Wanksteen!

I FEEL THE POWAAHHHHH!!!!

[proud patriot]

16. I was the biggest Yngwie fans in the 80s

everyone had their favorite Yngwie was mine
I still have my "Yngwie who Yngwie Fucking
Malmstein that's who !" T-Shirt and one of his
guitar picks :evilgrin:

Rising Force still the best IMO :headbang:

[eyepaddle]

18. I liked Rising Force

and Marching Out, until one day in about 1989 I had Marching Out in my car stereo (an aftermarket thing in a 1977 Chevy Chevette) and just said naaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. That was pretty much it for Yngwie.

Vinnie Moore on the other hand.....

[proud patriot]

19. I actually wrote him and told him to get rid of the lyrics

he didn't listen to me . I only really
like rising force but boy do I like
it ...still play it .

I've turned pretty punk in the last few
years .

[eyepaddle]

20. Yngwie to punk, whoa, now

that is one hell of a switch. Rather pretentious guitar to wizardry--to well....punk!?!

O gave up on metal and got into hippie jam band stuff and fingerstyle folk in college. Oddly enough in my mid thirties I am getting back into metal.

I just picked up Vinnie Moore's Minds Eye and it is in my computer as I type (Although I'm gonna throw in The Maze in about a minute--never heard that before.)

[proud patriot]

21. Vinnie Moore eh?

I'll check it out

[DS1]

17. Sucks

is the word missing from the thread title

[name not needed]

23. Living proof that masturbating 12 times a day

will improve your playing skills.

[MrSlayer]

24. Fantastic guitarist. His songwriting is rather iffy.

His good tunes can be counted on one hand but man can he play the instrument.

[jpgray]

26. Recommended

[lildreamer316]

27. Vai and Satriani are SO much better.

No use to be the fastest if you have NO SOUL............

[DS1]

32. Lump Vai in with that 'fastest but soulless' collection

He sucks too

[asthmaticeog]

33. Agreed.

All that flash, going nowhere. x( Extraordinary waste of time.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

35. All this talk of speed and technical craftsmanship

and nary a mention of Al DiMeola? Is it because Al's "Jazz?"

Anybody familiar w/ "Race With The Devil On Spanish Highway?"

[asthmaticeog]

37. By my reckoning, the *real* speed & craft king is Les Paul.

But apart from speed and skill, his playing had smarts, and actual emotive content, concepts apparently lost on the '80s shredders.

Absolutely no disrespect to DiMeola intended, BTW. I just think Les is the all time King Shit of Fuck Mountain when it comes to dexterity-type guitar soloists.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

41. Les Paul is all that you say

Randy Rhoades showed promise like that before he died.

I was just surprised that there was no mention of Al in mentions of incredible speed. And he manages to be melodic, as well,

[WCGreen]

28. Yep.... A great craftsman....

A hack for an artist....

[Richard Steele]

29. Living proof that SKILL and TALENT are not the same thing.

SKILL? That boy got more skill than he knows what to do with!

But talent? Artistic vision? Originality?

Sorry, folks the YNGWIE DATABASE responds
to those search terms with "File Not Found".

[Common Sense Party]

52. Call me Salieri if you like, but...

...only one thing can be said for self-indulgent technical players like Malmsteen:

"Too many notes."

It's as much about what you *leave out* as what you *throw in.* More so.

Think of the really excellent guitar players, whose work still means something years later: David Gilmour. Eric Clapton. Stevie Ray Vaughan. B.B. King. Mark Knopfler. Even Angus back in the day. They knew when to play, and when to shut up.

Of course, they could also play with feeling, something that Malmsteen couldn't understand.

Don't get me wrong: I liked my share of finger-fretting metal hair bands in the 80s (Ratt and Dio and Dokken and the like). But you're right--artistic vision, originality, and HEART were sorely lacking.

[dolo amber]

30. Those pics kinda make me tingly in strange places

I think I might be going through puberty. :o

[asthmaticeog]

31. a KICK to unleash the fury

[GirlinContempt]

34. You are a terrible terrible man

[alarcojon]

36. Let this post die its natural death

PLEASE!

:banghead:

[asthmaticeog]

38. The "Hide Thread" feature is the DUer's bestest buddy. n/t

[alarcojon]

39. Naaah, then I wouldn't know

when Yngwie sank to the bottom of page 20, and I would be left to wonder forever.....

[asthmaticeog]

40. LOL!

I know exactly what you mean...

[eyepaddle]

42. How Ironic (Or how some people overestimate their own cool quotient)

This thread is pretty illustrative of a few things, first and most obviously a lot of Yngwie fans are pretty juvenile, and given to over the top flights of fancy as is apparrent for the artwork they submit to his site.

But then there is the more socially acceptable way to overstate your level of cool; and that is to pass judgement on somebody's work as soulless or artistically without any merit at all. That shit is old, tired, and just flat out burns my ass. :mad:

If I had a website and fans sent in these paintings, well, I'd frankly be embarassed for them, but you know what? I'm not them, I'm not fit to sneer at what may be their most honest expression of their own visions.

That pretty much goes for musicians as well, saying this player or that player lacks vision, soul, or emotion is misguided, unquantifiable, offensive and flat-out bullshit. You can say that it doesn't speak to you, or you don't find that emotion appealing aesthetically and don't want to listen to it, but to listen to all of the TRUE ARBITERS OF COOL here in the lounge and the world in general, you'd think that there might be a universal vision of what "soul" and "emotion" or even simply "cool" is.

Newsflash folks, there isn't.

Plus you make it sound like you only have one emotion, I know I'd hate to feel washed out, mournful and slightly depressed all the time. Sometimes I feel exhilerated, upbeat, maybe even agressive--that's why I have more than CD to listen to, my moods change and the music I listen to (and play) reflects that. Sometimes I feel like strumming a D chord, sometimes I fingerpick in DADGAD, and sometimes I bust out the Ibanez and shred--it might come as a surprise but sweep picking and scalar runs can be FUN! I know most people don't want to hear it--but I'm not going to their house and playing in their living room.

If you're still reading this post (and think I'm full of it) your taste in music blows goats like a Tijuana stripper--the only difference is, I didn't start a thread about it.

[asthmaticeog]

43. Hmmm, I didn't start a thread about anyone's taste in music, either.

I started a thread poking rather mild fun at kitschy fan-art. It could have been about Trekkie fanfic for that matter. It was about Yngwie Malmsteen because I find him a fascinating figure. But thank you for the lecture, which by the way, is hypocritical by dint of its very existence.

[no name no slogan]

44. Yeah, but Malmsteen still sucks

Just because you sound like Ritchie Blackmore on crystal meth doesn't mean you're a good guitarist, or songwriter. At least nobody every took Ritchie Blackmore seriously-- except for Ritchie Blackmore, or course.

[asthmaticeog]

45. Oh yeah, he's totally fucking unlistenable.

As far as shredders go, I much prefer the Great Kat.



CLASSY.

[dolo amber]

46. She played in Cinti when I worked at Subway

She ordered the seafood and crab sammich which I thought somehow...apropos. :D

[Susang]

50. Hmmmm....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

Read it, learn it, try to remember it for the next time you post. The only thing ironic around here is that you accusing the OP of the many crimes you commit in your self same post.

[eyepaddle]

54. Look, I replied to asthamtic in a pm, because I didn't want to keep

resurrecting a flame war, here's what I told him. I wasn't actually aiming at him specifically so much as a large number of posters who never miss a chance to point out that fast noodly guitar sucks--at least as long as the tone is distorted. Jazz on the other hand, well there, self-indulgent wanking is a sign of greatness. Personally I like self-indulgent wanking. By the way, throwing off some retarded comment like "speed kills" or "here's the proof that skill and talent aren't the same" and trying to pass it off like you are the first one to make this profound leap in reasoning amd thus you may clearly demonstrate your being past all pretension is the height of pretension in itself. There's your irony.

In retrospect I would've explicitly stated that I wasn't sniping at him, but unloading a shotgun blast of criticsm at the lounge.

And if you feel like it go ahead and search the damn archives--I have a long track record of decryng all of these "this musician or that sucks" threads I've defended a lot of music I don't personally like, once by light-heartedly pointing out that since it is really only possible for one person to listen to a tiny slice of all the music that is out there, and chances are we each individually dislike a lot of it, that when taken as a whole, far more people think your favorite band sucks than think it does not. And this doens't matter if your favorite music is Led Zeppelin, Piano Concertos, Django Reinhardt, Johhny Cash or the Sex Pistols--most people would rahter not hear it.

I just want people to stop pretneding there is a universal standard for art and bitching about what isn't art--which oddly enough always seems to coincide with their own personal preferences.

[Kat45]

47. He's on the radio right now.

He's a talented guitarist, but I hate this song, "Revolution." Oh good, it's over now.

[asthmaticeog]

48. Faster than the speed of KICK

[GirlinContempt]

55. For truth, justice

& yiffariffic guitarists

[GirlinContempt]

56. dupe

[Beware the Beast Man]

49. Man, that guy could shred the massive ego like no other!

[Susang]

51. Happy fucking new year!

By the way. :hi:

To both you and the lovely Cathyclysmic. :-)