Extemporaneous Screenplay Time - Add a Line

[MrScorpio]

It was a dark and stormy New York City night, as I sat quietly in my forth story Flatiron Building office, nursing my freshy polished roscoe and fifth of Jack. That's when I heard a knock on the door.

[EFerrari]

1. I froze. Who had I locked in the bathroom?

[sakabatou]

3. I then realized that I was on NPR... as Guy Noir.

[MrScorpio]

4. I slipped the gat into the drawer and walked over to the closet.

When I opened the door, there she was...

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. She was the kind of dame

who made you wish you'd changed your underwear, even though it was only Wednesday. Her six longer-than-a-Canadian-football-game gams gave new meaning to the word "leggy."

[MrScorpio]

6. Of course, she was just as I liked my women...

Hogtied and gagged with her own fishnets. At that moment, I said to myself, "Thank you, Jesus."

[Parrcrow]

11. I had to get her in the office. I had to say something about her legs.

I momentarily lost my noir patter and said "Stir yer stumps lady".

[sakabatou]

12. She replied, "How did you know my legs were made of wood."

I thought it was a bit obvious, since there wasa woodpecker, pecking away at her legs.

[spindrifter]

15. I responded,

"I'll table that."

[sakabatou]

19. She looked at me sensing that I was a carpenter

but she gestured that I sit beside her.

[lpbk2713]

2. It was quiet out there. Too quiet.

[EFerrari]

7. I give the six legged lady a smoke -- and a light --

and hopped the elevator to the lobby. Where was everyone?

[lpbk2713]

8. I knew I'd seen her before someplace but I couldn't remember where.

[Jamastiene]

9. The elevator door opened and suddenly, it all started coming back to me.

[sakabatou]

10. This was not my hotel, and I left the keys in the car

[ForrestGump]

13. And I wasn't wearing any pants.

[sakabatou]

14. This was actuallly a very usual say for me

I was an assistant to the president, anyway.

[spacelady]

16. I was determined to make sense of the situation, so I rushed back to the

room in search of pants, a six-legged lady and some answers...

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. But all I could find was some brell-cream and a desire to flatulate.

[JackDragna]

18. It was then that I was surprised by..

..the evil Dr. Wombat, who was like a normal person, except he had a wombat head and smelled of garlic.

[sakabatou]

20. "*gasp* What are you doing here," I yelled.

[spacelady]

21. "and what have you done with the lady who was here?" I yelled,

"and my pants?!" I shrieked as an afterthought.

[sakabatou]

22. "I ate 'em," the doctor said.

"Whoop, whoop, whoopwhoopwhoop." The doctor then scuttled out the door like a crab.

[Aristus]

23. Suddenly, a shot rang out!

[Ouabache]

24. and the mirror behind me shattered into a thousand shiny pieces of

broken glass, drat the luck, I thought.

[sakabatou]

25. And I was just about to shave, too...

[rug]

26. (Closeup on hairy neck.)

[ForrestGump]

27. PULL BACK TO REVEAL three Brazilian soldiers, brandishing pickles