evlbstrd's Job Interview Makeover!

[evlbstrd]

Before:



After:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Oooooh, you look sharp! Verrrrrry nice!

LIke the competent professional that you are!

You will knock them dead!

And you cut your hair! I'm a little surprised at that.......

But you look great!

:loveya: :hug: :*

[evlbstrd]

5. My hair was getting really bad.

Do I look like an Ad Man?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. Well, since I don't know what an Ad Man is supposed to look like.....

I can't answer you! Sorry.......

But you do look sharp!

You'd turn my head, you would!

Jus' sayin.......:loveya: :hug:

[jmowreader]

71. No you don't, but they'll hire you anyway

If you REALLY want to look like an Ad Man, drink about four pots of coffee, dress all in black, get a little bit of yellow wax under your fingernails, and don't go to bed for three days before the interview. Oh, and use rubber cement thinner as aftershave.

Wired, trendy, gets art supplies all over him, and worn the fuck out...yup, that's an Ad Man all right.

Seriously, if I had an agency and someone looking like you walked in, I'd hire him. You look good.

[evlbstrd]

75. I see those dudes all the time.

I do the four pots of coffee, but not the all black. And these days, you're more likely to get bytes all over you than wax.
Don't you even want to see my resume or portfolio?
That's fine, if I can get by on looks, I'll give it a shot. I never tried it before.

[jmowreader]

79. I'd rather see a CD-ROM with files on it than your book

True story: one of my customers (when I was still printing) needed to hire a designer. Four people answered his ad in the paper, and he picked the one whose book looked the best.

The first job this cat worked on was a half-page piece for the Friends of Children golf tournament. I use the term "cat" because the orange one sitting next to me could have produced an ad that would have run better than what this guy sent in. This was a half-page ad consisting of a headline, four small photos, one large one and a block of text plus a logo, which I provided to him as an Illustrator file. Most operators using QuarkXPress would have set all the type in Quark then dropped the photos and the logo into picture boxes and sent it over to me. This fucking guy...he set all the type in Photoshop (saved as 300dpi), rasterized the logo in Photoshop (to 300dpi), scanned the photos to 1200dpi and left most of them as RGB (except for one he converted to grayscale--the whole ad was SUPPOSED to be color), stuck the whole damn thing together...the only thing in the whole job that he did in Quark was the quarter-inch-thick rule bordering the page, and he did that by stacking a white box on top of a black one. It came in on three CDs and it SHOULD have been a 25MB folder.

Oh my God that thing would have taken forever to run out. And...if it wasn't for the fact that Scitex digital front ends do RGB-CMYK conversion, it would have run out in black and white.

[evlbstrd]

80. I've had similar horror stories.

I don't think you could drag me back to prepress.
I used to have to train a group of people from an unknown phone company on how to lay out their covers.
We did the scanning, provided a Quark template for Every Size Book they needed and spent two days working with them on it all.
They never submitted a good file. Then we did it all again the next month.

Edit to add:

I just submitted a book I designed and laid out. InDesign file, all illustrations, fonts and a directory listing of the disc. Nyah. :P

[leftofthedial]

2. looking good!

you really are an evlbstrd.

good luck!

[evlbstrd]

6. evl is my first name.

bs is the middle... I shouldn't finish that.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. *Ahem* I happen to know that your first name is NOT evl.......

And no,you should NOT finish that thought! :rofl:

[evlbstrd]

10. You make it very difficult for a guy to maintain a reputation.

I've worked very hard at cultivating it, ya know.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. ROFLMAO!

Sorry, darling! You're not working hard enough, I guess......

You are a sweetheart, anyhow! I should know.......


:pals: :yourock:

[evlbstrd]

13. Shhhh!

Someone will hear you!

[leftofthedial]

12. LOL!

[graywarrior]

3. I'd do you.

Kidding.





That was crass, wasn't it?

[evlbstrd]

7. Thanks.

Nice to have a vote of confidence.
Crass never bothers me, either. Ask anyone who knows me!

[evlbstrd]

4. whoops

edit: wrong place.

[xmas74]

14. What's the big interview for?

[evlbstrd]

15. Studio Artist at the largest ad agency in the area.

Maybe I should show up in my filthy smock, smelling of turpentine, linseed oil and cigarettes and beer.

[xmas74]

16. They might think you're a serious artist!

Good luck. The job market has kinda sucked lately-I know from experience. $6 an hour for an experienced secretary:banghead:

[evlbstrd]

17. That's very true.

I've been looking since September. I really need this.

[xmas74]

18. I'm working right now

but it's not the job I wanted. I took what I could get at the time.

And they really are paying secretaries $6 an hour around here, part-time, no benefits and demanding 10+ years experience. No wonder my kid and myself are stuck back at my parents house!

[evlbstrd]

21. Gad, that's awful.

I was beginning to think about retail, myself.
Of course, I don't have this job bagged, yet.

[xmas74]

23. I've been thinking about factory work.

Pays better than anything else in my area.
Maybe I need to go slaughter some chickens at Tyson's.

[evlbstrd]

25. That's a quick path to vegetarianism.

My dad quit eating meat while he worked at Wilson's Meat Packing in the sixties.

[xmas74]

26. We had a Wilson's in Marshall when I was growing up.

I know a few employees who refuse to eat pork to this day.

[evlbstrd]

27. We definitely went without hot dogs for a long time.

[evlbstrd]

19. The REAL after photo.

Not as big a difference after all. Just a little cleaner around the edges.
Oh, and pants that fit.

[proud2BlibKansan]

29. Phew

I was trying to come up with a nice comment on that other after picture. LOL

Seriously, looks good. You'll knock out the competition.

[evlbstrd]

30. Hee hee!

Apparently, some others think it's a good look for me. evlspwn laughed her ass off.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

32. Oooh, I like your style!

Also, this is a much better picture!

You are truly a very good-looking gentleman, my dear evlbstrd!

I like your smile, too.......


:loveya: :hug: :yourock:

[evlbstrd]

33. (blush!) I still have most of my teeth.

I'm teaching evlspwn how to use my camera. She's learning about lighting, too.

I'm wearing the sweater because it's cold, inside and out. But I'll follow Redstone's advice and wear the suit and tie for the interview. Maybe you'll get to see that, too.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

34. No need to blush, my dear evlbstrd!

You are very handsome.....

Your daughter is doing well with the camera.......

I'd love to see you in a suit and tie.......

Something about suit coats that define men's shoulders....I LIKE it!

I like men with an air of strength to them, and you have that...


:hug: :pals:

[evlbstrd]

35. The bar is being raised.

For me, that's only good when playing Limbo.

[crispini]

36. Niiiiiiiiiiice!

:thumbsup: Good lookin'! :applause:

[evlbstrd]

37. Are you hiring?

Thank you.

[Cobalt Violet]

40. Wow!

:thumbsup:

Good luck!

[evlbstrd]

Thank you.

I could use some luck other than that of the Irish right now.

[Shine]

50. What a handsome man you are!!

:thumbsup:

[evlbstrd]

54. You people could give a guy a big head.

If he didn't already know better.
Thanks!

[SoCalDem]

52. Nice pic.. The "other" after had a tinge of Simon Legree to it

:evilgrin:

[evlbstrd]

55. Some didn't seem all that surprised, either.

Kinda makes ya wonder.

[graywarrior]

20. I wish you luck. I just got a job as Media Coordinator for

a non profit. They're actually paying me decent money.

[evlbstrd]

22. Congratulations!

I hope you enjoy it.
I'd be doing work for some less-than-blue clients. I won't tell if you won't.

[graywarrior]

38. Hey, my exec director is totally a Bush man.

Fortunately, his heart is centered in the organization he runs and the disabled people we service get the benefits. He & I don't talk politics.

[evlbstrd]

39. That's an odd disconnect.

I take it there's no federal funding involved.

[graywarrior]

41. We re losing it. My job is to bring individual donations.

I negotiating with a well known writer to do a reading for us in Oct at $50 bucks a whack. Plus I'm writing grants and hitting up some supermarkets, etc for their yearly thousand dollar donations.

I just got back from the Ex-mas party and met the ex. dir's wife for the first time. Nice enough, but made me realize how unlike them I am, straining my brain to find something to say. Ugh. Good thing I gave up drinking.

[evlbstrd]

42. You've got a tough job.

In more ways than one. I hope you can find some kindred spirits elsewhere in the organization.

[graywarrior]

43. Everyone else are hard core dems.

[evlbstrd]

44. That's a relief.

In my last job, our little creative department was known to the clients (and the rest of the agency, for that matter) as the radicals of the company. We were definitely outnumbered.

[graywarrior]

47. I dig being in that category. Been there my entire life.

I don't blend in well with society. Always the rebel. The only thing I remember my father saying to me is "When you gonna cut that goddamn hair." And I'm a girl, so you can imagine what it looked like.

[evlbstrd]

48. I'm that one in my family, too.

Being an artist just made it worse. It's still like that. Fun, too.

[graywarrior]

49. Neighbors ran away from my family.

I got Hell's Angels, musicians, drunks, born agains, firemen with a deathwish, an entire mob of hypochondriacs, bi-polars, multiple marriages (sometimes to the same person several times-with a wedding),...the list is endless. And still, I did not blend in.

[evlbstrd]

53. The spectator at the family reunion?

Or do you get in there and actively stir up shit?

[graywarrior]

57. I stir things up, but make it look like someone else did it.

Then I :popcorn:

[evlbstrd]

58. Sneaky.

Just like my sisters.
But I'm onto them, now.

[graywarrior]

59. So's my family. None of them talk to me anymore.

In fact, my brother is missing....I think on purpose.

[evlbstrd]

60. Then at least the holidays are quiet.

Seriously, how long has your brother been missing? And on purpose? Not hiding from you.

[graywarrior]

61. About a year. Hangs with a biker crowd.

Could be running from the law, could be underground for some reason known to only him, could be in jail, could have won the lottery and doesn't want us to know. He's a stra-a-a-a-a-ange guy.

[evlbstrd]

62. My youngest sister is like that.

Well, she's back, now, but the same except for the missing part. The meds have kinda helped, but...

[graywarrior]

63. Medication. Yes. He goes on and off.

One time he met me for dinner in a nice restaurant dressed in a long, black leather cape, a black cowboy hat, ten feather earrings in one ear, a silver and leather walking stick, snakeskin boots, a sequined multicolored vest and his daughter had dyed his waist length hair jet black. AND he was 52 at the time.

[evlbstrd]

64. Wooo!

Flamboyant, eh? Entertaining, yet frightening. My sis was mainly frightening. She does wear leathers with Mickey Mouse all over them. Which I find kinda strange from a woman whose boyfriend's name is Dammit Ray.

[graywarrior]

65. Ha ha, that is funny.

My brother is an excellent musician and he IS flamboyant. He likes to tell off color jokes really loud in places like government office buildings, at wakes, waiting in line. He's a regular laugh riot.

[evlbstrd]

69. He actually sounds like my kind of guy.

I love creative disruption.

[graywarrior]

70. He makes my family cringe.

I loved it when he'd see an attractive woman, get down on his knee and start singing to her in the supermarket, or in K-Mart or in Harvard Square. He's a real trip.

[evlbstrd]

72. That's funny.

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong.

[graywarrior]

73. I dunno about you, but women fall all over him and have since he

was 16. My sister and I just don't get it. He draws flies like honey....or shit.

[evlbstrd]

74. Flies are flies.

Whatever they're drawn to.

[graywarrior]

78. Mostly bar flies

With an occasional beauty queen thrown in.

[Redstone]

24. Advice: Keep the hair and beard, but wear an expensive suit. and a tie.

Works for me. The contrast always gets them off guard, and gives you the opportunity to wow them before they get their bearings. Even when I'm visiting a customer who I know has a relaxed dress code, out comes the suit. The best-dressed person in the room generally gets to be in charge of the meeting, in my experience.

Oh, and also: Be six-foot-four if you can. That always helps.

Redstone

[evlbstrd]

28. That's the plan.

I already had a short phone interview with the person doing the hiring, which went quite well. I got called for the actual interview the next day.
I bought clothes that fit, too.
Being back on the Art School diet took a definite toll!

[evlbstrd]

31. I'm two inches shy of the height target.

And not likely to gain that in a few days. But losing 20 lbs. makes me look taller. My interviewer is female, and likely to be shorter than I am.

[Metta]

45. That's one good looking bastard.

You go. :thumbsup: :)

[evlbstrd]

46. I'm going!

Thanks for the support!

[Metta]

68. You go!

Let us know how it went.

[elshiva]

51. You look like Richard Thompson.

[evlbstrd]

56. You're very kind.

Now if I could play guitar like he can. Or at all.

[amitten]

66. It's nice, but actually, a little more evil.

But since when did evil ever stop a guy from getting a great job? It helped Bush enormously, it seems.

[evlbstrd]

67. It didn't hurt some of my former supervisors, either.

But for an evlbstrd, I'm really a swthrt.

[proud2BlibKansan]

76. Yes you are

but you are also evl. :rofl:

[evlbstrd]

77. Why, thank you.

Thank you very much. :evilgrin:

[radwriter0555]

81. You sure clean up real nice. Break a leg with the interview!

Best of luck!

[evlbstrd]

82. I only have to look decent for about an hour.

Then I can go back to normal.
Thanks for the wishes.