Two cat quandaries; please advise

[Flaxbee]

OK, I have two separate cat issues right now. As a caveat, all cats mentioned are spayed or neutuered, have their shots, regular check ups, etc. We're in western NC so the winters are pretty mild, Ivan has an insulated kitty house with heated blanket for his sleeping and loafing comfort.

1) We adopted a large male tom (now neutered) about a year ago, we named him Ivan and he integrated fine though never he became a full-time house cat. At the time he showed up, we had two indoor cats. Ivan was a stray, showed up after one of the hurricanes last year and has stayed with us ever since. He always comes home at night (I holler for him until he shows up), he sleeps on the screened-in covered porch (I can lock him in at night; the porch runs the length of the house) and often comes in to the house and hangs out. He and our only other male (also neutered) have a pretty easy peace. My psycho calico (Clarisse) doesn't get along with anyone, but Ivan is so damn big he doesn't really let Clarisse's hissy fits bother him.

In May, a mommakitty brought us her three babies. We now have them all living with us. Ivan and MommaKitty and all the others get along (in fact, Ivan seems to be absolutely in love with one of the kittens, Marilyn, now 7 months old). So we now have 7 cats living here, three indoor only, four that come and go (but always in at dark or before we go to bed.

Ivan's gotten into two fights lately. He is miserable inside only, he paces, starts attacking the other cats, etc. - basically goes berserk, so please don't tell me to keep him inside only. He was an outdoor cat when we got him, he loves to be outside, he loves to mouse, he just is an outdoor boy. I am reconciled to the fact that he might be killed by a car or a dog, but I love him dearly and want him to be his cat self.

Anyway - after these two big fights (he's OK physically, he's just got some scratches; I can tell he's been fighting though because he acts more skittish and skulks around and is sorta freaked out) he's been weird. Acts more wild, is all I can really say (I have not/will not let him out today or tomorrow b/c of weather and so he can chill out and get some food and rest). After this second fight last night, he's been acting rather oddly - still growling, hissing when I pick him up even after almost 24 hours(he could be sore from a fight), he clawed me on the back of my head and hissed and growled (he was definitely strking out) and just is pacing and hostile (but not toward the other cats).

It's almost like he's borderline wild - he gets nice and cuddly and 'domesticated' for a while, then fights and turns into another creature.

Does anyone have any ideas as to his behavior changes?

2) We had placed one of the kittens several months ago with a guy who loves animals. We told him we would take her (Jayne) back no matter what, whenever, if he couldn't take care of her or if it didn't work out. So anyway, he called us about three weeks ago and said he'd had to sell his trailer, had no land for a new one, was hoping to get stuff sorted out in a few months, etc. So we said we'd take her back until he could get settled. We went to pick her up (he's staying with his ex and their two kids) and he was nice, so was the ex., but the kids were hyper and shrieking and he and the parents were constantly yelling back at them, etc. Chaos, and in a rather unproductive way. This wasn't the chaos of a busy family, this was the chaos of people who can't talk to one another.

The guy arranged to have her spayed (he hadn't done it yet) and paid for it; we all go to the same vet so we took her to be spayed, etc. He does love the cat, he's called three times to check on her and tell us he appreciates what we're doing, that he loves her very much, etc. He thinks a friend will be buying some land in the next few months and he can put a new trailer there.

When we got Jayne back, she was healthy (though reeked of smoke, he's a very heavy smoker) but hungry. He feeds her dry food, which is fine, but I know (from what he's said) that he can't afford moist food, probably feeds her the least expensive dry he can find (which is basically ground up corn meal with turkey-flavoring - grocery store dry food is crap and a bad diet if not supplemented with other better food), and he doesn't have a litter box, just a pan with some dirt (to keep costs down; he's permanently on disability and medicated and on a fixed income).

So, I don't really want to give her back to him when he's got a house again. And yes, it's because I don't think he's got the resources to give her good, consistent care (though he did find us through our vet - the only place we posted "kittens available" ads; he does take his other cat and two dogs there). Mostly its b/c he and his kids (who don't live with him but his ex, but do visit) scream and holler and slam doors and are just generally maladjusted (at least, there seems to be a lot of hollering when he has the kids) - I've had others at the vet's office tell me it's noisy and they all fight when they come in with their animals.

I admit this is a snobbish attitude. I just want the best for Jayne, but I don't want to deprive a guy of a cat he loves because he can't feed her fancy food and his kids are f*cked up, esp. when he obviously loves her (he used to do rescues for big dogs) and Jayne was not skittish or afraid or showed any telltale abuse behaviors when we got her back. When he picked her up to put her in the carrier we brought to get her, she started to purr. So he's good to her.

Help! What would you do? Jayne and other sisters (Marilyn and Ingrid) have gotten reaquainted and play and scamper and sleep in a big fluffy kitty-ball every night; I love having them all together again (we're not adopting the others out, letting Jayne go freaked me out b/c I don't trust anyone I don't know to be a good kitty momma/daddy).

[TexasBushwhacker]

1. Get some Feliway

Here's a link that describes it:

http://www.catfaeries.com/feliway.html

You can get it at pet stores like Petsmart and Petco. I use the ComfortZone diffuser. My 2 females who didn't get along have mellowed out considerably.

As for Jayne, you may just want to wait and cross that bridge when you come to it, and it never may. He may never get settled again, at least not any time soon, and may not be able to have as many pets as he did in his own trailer on his own land. IF he comes back and wants her (and my guess is he won't) then you can say "She's really happy here with her sisters and I'd like to keep them together." It's not like he paid anything for her. I adopted/rescued a kitten that a guy was keeping as a "warehouse cat". He said that it was to cut down on rats. All I know is that it was always around our business, hungry and thirsty, and we found it sleeping inside the wheel well of my boss's truck. Boss said, "Take that kitten home before someone runs over him" and I did! The "owner" came looking for it a couple of weeks later and I told him I'd found it a new home. He bitched about it initially, but he didn't really have a legal leg to stand on.

The man may be upset, but some people hoard animals like others hoard junk. It's not good for the animals, and it's really not good for the person either. It sounds like he has plenty of animals already, considering his limited income.

[Flaxbee]

4. ahh, excellent suggestion! Will get some Feliway...

Clarisse is PSYCHO and poor Mommakitty bears the brunt of it. I have a spray bottle seemingly permanently attached to my belt-loop when they're in the house together. She is fine with everyone but MommaK, who is otherwise a sweet, mellow cat.

Yes, re Jayne, I'm just hoping he doesn't get settled for a while and then we can just say "no, she's been with us too long". He did pay for her spay, but I'd send him some cash to cover those expenses and a little extra for her food for the few months they were together.

Now, my head is about to explode with 7 cats running around, but I just can't bring myself to separate the kitty-sisters again, and the adult cats (Tom, Clarisse, Ivan and Mommakitty aka Novi), in all their weirdness, are with us to stay. So I guess we'll just put ourselves on the fewer-pets-thru-attrition program and love them all while we have them.

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. Couple of suggestions

Ivan:

Take him in for a check up. He may have something physical going on that pains him from time to time...internally or maybe his teeth or ears.

Jayne:

Check with the vet's office for other kittnes available, and get the guy the phone numbers. Let the guy know that for Jayne's sake, another displacement wouldn't be good for her, and you know that since he's an animal lover you're sure he understands this. (She may be just one of those cats who purrs and is naturally happy...hard to really tell sometimes if a cat has suffered much). It sounds like this guy is just an acquaintance-via-kitten-adoption...so, he's not really a friend or someone you have to worry too much over. And, it also sounds like you do want what's best for Jayne...so keep her :)

[Flaxbee]

3. Ivan is now on my lap, making my legs fall asleep...

(he's a 20 lb monster, all muscle, and in a dead sleep). I think I'll watch him for a day or so and then take him in - his appetite is fine, he just seems to be crazed after a fight, like he can't get enough of it and he wants to be a real-life panther or something...

Yeah, the guy said there are other kittens around he's trying to find a home for, so I might suggest he just adopt one of them. Jayne hadn't found her 'purrer' before she was adopted (it was very odd - her sisters purred up a storm but Jayne never did until we got her back), she seems to have learned how while he had her, but your suggestion is good - not wanting to displace her again. I'm hoping his situation doesn't work itself out for a few months, by which time I'll just say "no".

[TexasBushwhacker]

5. He's probably upset because another cat ....

.... has invaded his territory, and he's probably wanting to go out and defend his space. At 20 lbs., I'm sure he's able to take care of himself - LOL.