How many gifts is too many gifts, for kids?

[tjdee]

I suppose this is a matter of opinion...and I know some folks do it by dollar amount instead of quantity...

But I try to keep my own present giving to a minimum because I know the grandparents/etc. are going to be kicking in with their presents. My kid's got a lot of toys/etc. she doesn't use *now*, god forbid two weeks from now. (We are going to be giving some toys of hers away to charity.)

Just curious how others know when enough's enough.

[CatBoreal]

1. My kids get...

One outfit, one toy from Santa and a book or puzzle or educational toy from Mommy and Daddy.

They also get one gift from their sib.

[tjdee]

11. And I bet they're happy with that, too.

They really don't need a lot of stuff to have a good Christmas!

[CatBoreal]

27. No they don't.....

and I forget that from time to time.

I also forgot to mention their stocking, which is filled by a tactical raid on the dollar store.

[DanCa]

2. There were christmas were we didn't get anything.

Those were some of the best christmas because my dad made us turn off the tv for that day, only christmas music and church, and we told each other how much we loved each other Hmm I wonder if my neices and nephews could handle a "welfare christmas" what with thier i pods and video games. And its hard to believe that looking back on everything my old man voted for reagan.

[tjdee]

10. Yeah. I'd really like to start a tradition of some sort

that doesn't involve money or presents. Your dad had a goood idea...even if he did vote for the Gipper.

[LeftyMom]

3. I'm giving my son a toy, some books and new shoes and socks.

I don't buy more than one or two toys for him because my Dad and Sister will give him more toys than any three kids his age could play with (he's the only Grandbaby and very spoiled.) I do't go nuts with clothes either, since my Mom's usually got that covered and he's already got more than he'd ever need.

[Heddi]

4. I don't have kids, so I don't know

when I was little, I got a decent amount of toys. Usuallly one BIG item, then alot of junk from the Dollar Store (or whatever the 80's equivalent was). Of course, I didn't care if my toy cost $4 or $400.

My sister-in-law has the first child/grandchild/great-grandchild of the family, and he just turned 6. This child wants for nothing. He needs nothing. He and his mother and father live in a trendy neighborhood where every street is a cul-de-sac, and all that shit.

Last Christmas, it took THREE HOURS for him to open his presents. JUST FROM MOM & DAD. Add another $500+ worth of gifts from Grandma & Grandpa and another $200 from the other sister (we gave him a $20 gift cert to Toys R Us).

He had SO many toys they wouldn't fit in his room. We were thrown out of the guest room we were staying in and had to sleep in the couch because they had to put all of his toys in the guest bedroom.

And he's so GREEDY. We had mentioned to SIL that maybe she could go through his old (and un-played with toys--soem aren't even OPENED!) and donate them to charity and this kid just wailed and wailed and threw a fit. SIL just looked at us and says "Oh, well, he doesn't like to give away his toys. Sigh".

So the toys just keep piling up. And piling up. And piling up.

That day, mid-way through the Christmas dinner, the kid began to wail because he didn't get the game system he had asked for for Christmas. WEll, he got the game system but not the 20,000,000 games he asked to go along with it. Mom was right there "Oh, honey, we'll go to the store tomorrow and get you what you want ,okay?" and he wasn't pleased. In fact, he went over and KICKED the game system off the table and said "NO. I WANT THE GAMES NOW" and threw a fit for the rest of the evening.

Also, while opening gifts, he would announce "Good" or "Junk" as he saw the presents, and would gently place the "good" gifts into one pile, and forcibly throw the "junk" gifts across the room. And everyone just sat there and smiled at him and patted him on the head and said outloud that next year they'll just have to ask him what he wants directly instead of assuming.

Hubby and I shook our heads at the gluttony and selfishness being encouraged in this child.

We heard from SIL that this year they spent nearly $2500 JUST ON HIM for presents.

My husband and I are budgeting ourselves to $100 per person (each other). Everyone else got $30 worth of gifts for us.

$2500 on one person? On one SIX YEAR OLD PERSON? Who doesn't appreciate ANYTHING? Whodoesn't PLAY with anything?

Gross.

[redqueen]

6. BEYOND gross.

They're not doing that kid any favors, I hope they know.

Future republican, it sounds like. x(

[Heddi]

19. Mom and Dad are TOTAL fucking republicans

It's funny that their last name is "Jones" because that's completely who they're trying to 'keep up with'.

They're both in sales, both have the house that would be repossessed if one of them lost their job. Everything "they" own is actually owned by the bank, credit card company, or leasing agency.

Their idea of a budget is not spending $4,000 in a weekend..only $3,000.

About 7 years ago they bought a house that was nice, but not $400,000 nice. And it's in one of those planned communities where you have 2 versions of every house plan to choose from--do you want the garage on the left, or the right? Steps on the left, or right, or center? That type of thing.

This kid is in private school, soccer, karate, football, baseball, basketball....he has "play dates" and mommy keeps a calendar so his friends can be 'penciled in' when they want to play.

And they think he is the most darling, wonderful, precious child that ever graced the universe. I mean, he's a kid, and all that, but he's not a joy to be around. If he sees 2 people talking (as in, adults), he'll get RIGHT IN YOUR FACE and just start talking to you. If you say "wait a minute, I'm in the middle of talking", he'll start talking louder and louder and louder until you HAVE to stop talking.

He knows how to press buttons. I don't think mom and dad care, honestly. They just shower him with gifts for any little thing. I swear I think he got a fucking computer for farting sideways :eyes:

And my husband's mom & dad just lap it up. They're fucking republicans too, and look down on my husband and I because *gasp* we're in our 30's AND STILL RENTING AND HAVE NO CHILDREN :cue ominous music: Of course, we're still in school....but that doesn't matter to them. Money and possessions are all that matter to these people.

When we gave him that $20 gift cert last year, he looked us plain in the eyes and said "What am I supposed to do with THIS?" and we said 'Oh , you can buy whatever you want with it!" and he said "I can't get ANYTHING I want for $20"

I remembered how when I was little :cue old timey music: getting FIVE DOLLARS was like winning the fucking lottery. ANd I"m only 29, so It's not like $5 back then was like $400 now (like my mom says it was when she was little).

What a fucking brat. I dread the day we get an invitation to his HS Graduation. I'm sure he'll be expecting a car from every member of the fucking family.

[ET Awful]

47. I would have said "Fine" and taken the card back.

Freakin' ingrate.

[SammyWinstonJack]

7. Wow. So they're fine with creating a spoiled brat, are they?

Not doing him any favors as they will find out when it's too late.

[Heddi]

20. They equate material posessions with being a good person

Hubby & his family grew up in upper middle class household. Sister always wanted more. Is mortgaged and loaned and credit-carded to the hilt. No reason, as she and hubby probably clear about $150k a year after taxes. But that's not "rich" enough.

Hubby and I live on $30k a year (pre-taxes) for two people. And we live sweet. Everything they own is really owned by the bank, credit cards, and loan companies.

But they feel that their son is "cooler" than other kids when he wears $150 jeans and $150 shoes and has more toys than anyone.

She's very much about outward appearances. But it would make sense since, on the inside she has an empty dark spot where a soul and personality should be.

[Goblinmonger]

8. Wasn't that a scene in Harry Potter?

My son acted 1% of that big of shit head and his room would be gutted and given to the local battered women's shelter in about .5 seconds. :wow:

[Heddi]

21. IT's sick

He had toys in his room that were never even opened. Clothes with tags still on them that were 2 sizes too small. But even REMOVING one thing from his room sends him into a fucking tantrum like I've never seen.

I think he's got an RFID chip receiver in his head and gets a little notification if anyone removes any of his oh-so-necessary belongings.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

53. Compulsive shopping by proxy!

Sort of like Munchausen's by proxy. :-)

[ET Awful]

46. I was gonna make the Potter comment dang it.

:P

[tjdee]

9. What are they going to do when he's a teenager?

And wants more stuff? Are they planning on getting second jobs? I can't believe that, LOL! Wow!

[Heddi]

22. Commit suicide, I'd suppose

or just pick up and move without leaving a forwarding address or phone number.

[deadparrot]

17. Holy hell.

:scared:

[Heddi]

23. Oh, that story ain't nothing

He knows how to push buttons. He's a fucking master at it. I see him as either growing up to be a very successful CEO, or being in jail at 17 for conning old folks out of their pension checks.

Like, if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll look at whatever parent is closer and say "Oh, you guys aren't going to get a divorce, are you? Because I don't know who to live with. Please don't get a divorce" (They were thinking of splitting up when he was younger and plays the "please don't get divorced" card whenever he doesn't get his way. It guilts them into buying whatever he wants just to get him to shut up and stop bringing up bad things)

He's purposefully destroyed toys so that he could get new ones. HE has multiples of the same toys because he lost a gun, or whatever, and just can't LIVE without the gun wah wah wah.

He's a con-artist in the making. Well, I can tell you MY ass ain't gonna bail him out of jail...let him pawn some of his fucking toys :D

[bleedingheart]

25. I had a friend who indulged her boys like that...the oldest child

wouldn't go on car trips unless she let him start the car!!! He was freakin 3 years old and she was letting him start up the car!!!!

They had no less than 7 little driveable cars (the kind with batteries instead of pedals) in the garage...they couldn't even fit their cars in a 3-car garage because of the toy clutter.

Meanwhile I have two that I make go through their stuff each year to throw out the broken, give away the good but not used ..etc and they get limited toys.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. That's scary.

That poor kid is in for a lot of trouble some day, no thanks to his parents. At best, he will be an unhappy, creepy guy who can't figure out why he has no friends. At worst, he'll be another Goerge Bush.

[CatBoreal]

28. My Gods, he sounds like

Dudley Dursely from the Harry Potter books.

I'm in shock!

[Madrone]

29. OMFingG

:wow:


My personal view is that if I ever have children I want them to have EVERYTHING - just like your nephew. The moment any child of mine
neglects to show appreciation for what he/she has or comes to EXPECT anything, however, they're going to get a rude awakening. I'd cut them off in a HEARTBEAT if I detected any spoiled brat behavior - and I wouldn't feel bad about it in the least.

I believe it IS possible to give your child everything while maintaining their character. It requires more effort than the "average" parent is willing to invest. Same thing w/ spanking, imho. It's quite possible to raise well behaved, wonderful children without ever raising a hand to them - problem is it requires WORK.

[Heddi]

30. I grew up with everything I needed

I was the only child of a single parent who often worked 3 jobs just to keep a roof on our heads and food in our pantry.

Christmas was lean. I might not have liked getting underwear and socks instead of Nintendos and albums, but I was appreciative that I got what i *NEEDED*

That's the thing--he has no understanding of the difference between NEED and WANT. Shit--I want $234987478 million dollars. But I NEED some underwear.

The great parents are the ones that instill the difference (early on) between need and want, and we should always be happy when we have what we need, and be grateful when we get what we want.

The entitlement of this child is staggering. What he wants, he gets. No if's, and's or but's. And if he wants it now, he gets it now.

THere was a time when he would only eat Kraft Mac & CHeese from the box, or McDonalds. Forget about going out to dinner with the family unless it was McDonalds. He wasn't happy even getting to take a happy meal into another restaurant. He'd refuse to eat and throw a fit, so we'd have to leave a nice sit-down restaurant and cram into a booth at McDonalds so His Highness could have all the chicken nuggets his fucking greedy ass could suffer.

[Madrone]

31. Stunning.

Simply stunning. I don't know how you stand it. Even more, I don't know how you stay quiet. I think I'd no longer be invited to any family functions if I were Mr. Entitlement's aunt. LOL

[Heddi]

33. We don't really because we live 3,000 miles away

but on the few chances we visit, this kid is shoved down our throat like he's our own. I mean, I like him as a nephew or whatever, but I generally don't like kids, which is why we have none ourselves.

We've not been too quiet about it lately. We didn't even get him anything for christmas. I know--awful aunt & uncle, right? Fuck that. Not only does he not understand the word "APPRECIATION", but we don't even get a thank you, fuck you, nothing.

My husband and I are both in nursing school, so we always get all kinds of nursing-related things, like coloring books and pens and stuff. I also used to work at a hat factory and I used to send him (in addition to the nursing coloring books and stuff), the occasional hat we'd have as a sample. I mean, it's a hat. No big deal. I got them for free and they were kids sizes so I thought he'd like it.

Never heard one word from mom, dad, or Jr. Have no idea if they've gotten ANYTHING we've ever sent them.

In fact, we just spent about $50 on postage to mail them a box of antique tools from my husband's dad--we don't want them and (more importantly) don't have the room for them. We thought the kid would like them (and take them off our hands). That was about...three months ago. Have no idea if they even got the box.

The idea of "thank you" is completely foreign to them. So this year, we said "FUCK IT" and didn't get his ass a damn thing. I'm sure we'll get shit up one side and down the other from everyone in the family, and if they do decide to broach the subject, I (and my husband) have no problem telling them exactly what I wrote upthread. IF he doesn't care, doesnt' appreciate, and considers it too less of a gift, then he can do without and see how the fuck he likes that.

---

My husbands 2 sisters (and their families) make me very, very, very happy to be an only child. Now, if only we could afford that remote island in the south pacific....:dreams:

[Arugula Latte]

43. Sounds like that kid would give Veruca Salt a run for her money!

"Daddy, I want it NOW!"

Wow. The parents have created a monster. Such a shame.

[nini]

50. 10 years from now Jr. is going to be even worse

They will get a major payback for spoiling the hell out of this kid. MAJOR.


When they come crying worrying about him getting in trouble or complaining he's disrespectful... try not to say I told you so.. . Or just say it. They deserve everything that is waiting for them in the teenage years.

[seemunkee]

54. Sounds like my BIL

One day he cleaned up the broken toys in the basement with a snow shovel. It's obscene how many toys his kids have. Plus they are obese. my 16 year old nephew weighs 300lbs and his younger brother is close behind him. It's really his wife that is the driver in all of this, my BIL despite being an intelligent person(physician) is clueless when it comes to his own family

[trof]

5. 75

Anything over that is just a wretched excess.

[tjdee]

12. Dollars or toys, LOL?

Wrapping 75 gifts makes my head hurt. :scared:

[xmas74]

55. Depends on the item.

When I was in high school I received my letterman's jacket as a Christmas present. I lettered first time out in cross country as a freshman and received the jacket that year. I wore it for four years. I think it was about $100 then w/ all the patches on it and I got alot of wear out of it.
My junior year I received a class ring. It doesn't look like a classic class ring-sapphire w/ a diamond accent, no writing on the outside on a simple band(high school initials, my initials and my grad year on the inside of the band). I still wear it today and yes, my parents got a really good deal on it(we knew someone who worked at the jewerly store and got it on their discount, stating that they were buying it for me as a present).
I didn't really receive anything else either of those years. And in 8th grade I received an inexpensive luggage set because they knew that some of the activities I was planning on being involved in included overnight travel in high school. I still have that set to this day.
I think it really depends on the gift and how long you will be able to use it. An older child you could spend a little bit more on if you know it will be useful for a long time.

[SoCalDem]

13. Depends on the ages of the kids..

My sons' FAVORITE Christmas present of ALL time was the year I was stumped on an "big" gift, so I went to the bank and got 3 bundles of brand new ones..straight from the "factory"..

My middle son was very impressed that I got them "all in numerical order".. We still laugh about that one..

They were 12, 8 & 7 that year, and they absolutely LOVED having 100 dollar bills that were theirs and theirs alone..

[SoCalDem]

15. Forgot about the stockings..

My boys got unusual stuff in their stockings.

stuff like their very own personalized (sharpie marker) Stapler, tape dispenser, scissors, hairbrushes, shampoo etc..

and the requisite color coded toothbrushes..

One year I got them each their own IRON because i was tired of having mysterious things "happen" to my iron..

[Left Is Write]

14. My in-laws love to shower the kids with stuff. My younger two...

are their only grandchildren. To their credit, they always look for educational stuff too, like books and puzzles.

As for us, we give the little ones something from their list that they reaaaaally want, a few books, a new outfit and/or pajamas, and a few little things (Matchbox cars, doll clothes, that sort of thing). My oldest usually gets a gift certificate to her favorite store, along with little things like nail polish, lip gloss, and costume jewelry.

[JVS]

16. Even one is too much!

[flordehinojos]

24. aw,come on!

[JVS]

32. You have gone soft in the "war on christmas".

Traitor!

[flordehinojos]

35. O:-)

;-)

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

38. I'm glad you weren't my dad.

You're gonna have one of those kids that comes to see you in the nursing home with a machete.

[JVS]

41. Like I'd let the bastard know where I was!

[deadparrot]

18. We always did it by dollar amount.

My 15-year-old brother has a December birthday, and he went out the day after Thanksgiving to get this 20GB MP3 player. I think it was maybe $250, and that's all he's getting for Christmas and birthday from the family. I'll get him a DVD, and the grandparents always slip us a little cash, but he's pretty much done.

[fortyfeetunder]

34. There is a limit...definitely

Maybe one gift for every 2 years in age. And definitely a dollar limit. I let the spouse buy toys. I go for the practical stuff. This year it's a rolling backpack, games and books, and a token item of clothing.

[Jamastiene]

36. The rule for anything and everything with me when I was little

was 3. I heard that 3 brazillion times growing up. "You can have three things." "You can pick out three things." "No, you can't have four, but you can have three or none."

Sounds fair to me. I was basically a happy kid when I was at home. I wasn't too spoiled. Like getting the Atari 2600 when it went on sale (after going out of style with the other kids.) I was always thankful for the gifts I got.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

37. No. Such. Thing.

I'm not afraid to say my parents spoiled me rotten, but I've got a good, solid, and charitable head on my shoulders anyway. It's all in teaching them to think for themselves to have respect for themselves and everyone around them.

[redqueen]

40. Very true!

It's not the toys that matter so much as the teachin.

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. As long as they are equal (number wise) is what I work on here. Seriously,

They are each getting 16 gifts this year. BUT, most of those gifts are necessities. Socks, underwear, boots, snowpants...It all gets wrapped up...even the jammies and the razor we're putting in my daughter's stocking. We keep them even because we open one at a time and somebody would be mad. The "big" gifts are an MP3 player (not an ipod) for my daughter, and the King Kong vid game for our son. Then boardgames and legos, that sort of thing. Makeup for my daughter. Nothing too out there. :hi:

[Arugula Latte]

42. My kids are getting a lot of gifts, but

when you account for aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, and Santa, it all adds up. To too much. But, hey. A little excess is okay now and again if you teach your kids decent values. We're trying. We have a group for kids that does community service. Last night we wrapped presents for two needy families. They'll also get food for the holidays, and gift cards.

[rbnyc]

44. My spoiled brothers-in-law.

My son is under 2. We only got him one thing for christmas last year--2 things for his birthday. He has what he needs. The grandparents give him loads of stuff. And he doesn't really know the difference right now.

But your question reminded me of one year where one of my brothers-in-law got a mustang convertible for Christmas and the other got a new entertainment unit, new tv, stereo, speakers, dvd player, gaming system, computer and printer.

The brother-in-law who got the car was mad because he only got one thing. The brother-in-law who got a million expensive things was mad because he didn't get a car.

The only one who was happy was my husband, who got a sweater, some socks, and a couple CDs.

Anyway, for some reason the in-laws have always given modestly to my hubby, the oldest, and have always spoiled the crap out of the 2 younger brothers. And it's the 2 younger brothers who are never satisfied with anything.

[Arugula Latte]

45. That's bizarre.

I'll NEVER understand that kind of favoritism among parents. Never.

[rbnyc]

48. It's very weird.

They have totally different expectations for him.

The other two, they are constantly bailing out of trouble.

[Divameow77]

49. My boys are kind of spoiled with gifts

but grateful most of the time.

I am ashmamed to admit that I bought my 3 year old his own 20" TV/DVD combo for Christmas, to play the V-tech toddler video game thing I got him. Hey it was on sale!

[Love Bug]

52. This is why Nana is getting them each 2 things and probably each a book

too! And I have to make sure they each get the same # of gifts because the older one can count!

[Scooter24]

51. Quality over quantity.

I would say quality over quantity, but I see no problem in awarding a child who has been especially good (including academically). Each parent has their own limits on what is enough and I don't see it prudent to scrutinize others for what they give. I was a gifted student and did very well in class, so one of my Christmas presents every year from my parents would be for me to choose where to take a summer vacation. I see no problem in spoiling a child provided he/she is on good behavior. However, simply indulging because you can afford it, regardless of the child's behavior, I don't condone.

Also, toys today, even those for a 5 or 6 year old, are getting highly expensive. I have a 5yo brother and three 3yo brothers and sister (triplets) to buy for, spending about $400 on each of them. This year I spent about $5700 on 30 Christmas gifts, not including my boyfriend or the 5 children on the angel tree I bought for. It goes up every year.

Scott