How to win the war on Christmas.

[OilemFirchen]

Make it jealous by celebrating Chanukah, as I've done for the last fifty years:

Seven days vs. one.
Tons of presents. Tons.
Much better food.
Lotsa alcohol.


Now, then. Anyone want tips for the upcoming Easter skirmishes?

[CottonBear]

1. LOL! The Easter skirmishes!

:rofl: Tips please!

[OilemFirchen]

3. One word spoiler:

Passover.

[Dr.Phool]

12. Easter? Isn't that the one where a guy named Jesus

Was buried in a cave for 3 days, and when the rock rolled away, he came out, saw his shadow, went back in, and we had six more weeks of winter?

[XemaSab]

25. Word

n/t

[leftstreet]

22. Duh. How can we lose? We've got the EASTER SEALS!

:patriot:

[OilemFirchen]

26. Yikes!

I'd better warn the Yom Kippers!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Depends on what comes near Easter

Purim? I don't know when these holidays will fall in relation to one another.

[LSparkle]

5. Passover

Now THAT's a party -- the seder, where you're supposed to drink wine with EVERY course (even the kids!).

[LiberalinNC]

9. Ya need all that liquor because Matzo will constipate you!

[OilemFirchen]

10. True, but

the sponge cake soaks it all up and you get to start the whole process again.

Win, win, sez I.

Oh, and you get a prize for finding the afikomen. What do you get for finding an egg, other than the damned egg itself?

And you can't even eat it?

Feh!

[OilemFirchen]

8. Purim will move your troops to the front line.

A dozen apricot hamenstashen and the enemy starts surrendering in droves.

[Coastie for Truth]

16. I bring NY type Hamentachen to the office

and my Shiite colleague responds with "Real Persian" Hamentachen - dripping with honey.

[Jade Fox]

18. mmmm...hamenstashen........

I surrender. :)

[Larkspur]

4. I'm Pagan. I celebrate Winter Solstice

And most Christmas traditions are based upon old Pagan traditions and rituals.

[ScooterKen]

6. Do we have an exit strategy for the War on Christmas?

ROTFLMAO !

:D

[OilemFirchen]

13. Dunno about an OFFICIAL strategy,

but we can invade their homes, make a few sarcastic remarks about their leaders, and date their daughters.

It's worked for me.

[ScooterKen]

14. Sign me up then!

:D

[ucmike]

20. yes. we must stay the course

santa can stand up when the jesus army stands down.

[Crunchy Frog]

28. Have we defined what our benchmarks are?

How will we know when we've achieved victory, and will they be throwing flowers and candy at us?

[KamaAina]

7. Pre-emptive nuclear strike on the North Pole!

:nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

Santa better have that red fur suit lined with lead, or else! :sarcasm:

[MADem]

11. I say become a CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR in the War Agin' XMAS

REFUSE to fight!! When someone wants you to join their team, say SCROOGE YOU!!! And that goes double for those on the opposite team, the WAR FOR XMAS!!! Give peas a chance, whirled peas, and all that!!

[Coastie for Truth]

15. Purim" My Persian Shiite Colleague and I

always celebrate Purim together. He thinks it's kind of neat that the Jews "toast" a Persian emperor with a Jewish wife (He points out that Ahasuerus had "100's of wives.")

[Left Is Write]

17. I can't celebrate Chanukah....

but I do so love hearing about the Chanukah traditions. And I'd LOVE to be invited over for the food!

[OilemFirchen]

23. Of course you can celebrate Chanukah!

Who's gonna know the diff?

And you're welcome anytime to partake in our food, under one condition: You must never reveal the secrets of the ZOG.

Come. Ess mein kinderlachen...

[Left Is Write]

27. I'd know the difference...

and I wouldn't feel right celebrating a Jewish holiday when I am not Jewish. I'd feel disrespectful of Jewish religion, culture, and tradition.

But I do love the food. :D

[ucmike]

19. I don't get the whole war on christmas

why is everyone so divided about santa claus's birthday.

[hfojvt]

21. is that going to work?

Christmas and Chanukah are pretty good friends ever since Hannukah Harry subbed for Santa one year when he was sick. Or did you not see the SNL skit?

[flvegan]

24. Festivus!!!!