You might be a redneck if...

[Rocknrule]

-the gas pedal of your car is shaped like a human foot
-when you go to a wedding, everyone's sitting on the same side of the church
-you think 401K is your mother's bra size
-you've ever voted for Bush
-your house has wheels and your car doesn't
-your first girlfriend was a mule
-as a kid you had to be reminded to floss your tooth
-you learned to put on your underwear "yellow in front, brown in back"

feel free to add

[billybob537]

1. you had to be

tought ta be a Texacan!

[jeanarrett]

2. Your family tree doesn't fork.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

3. If your porch collapses

you kill five dogs

[...of J.Temperance]

4. If you expect to find

Ammunition, chewing tobacco and fish bait ALL in the SAME store.

If your Momma is also your sister.

If you hear a Tornado siren and you go outside and look for a funnel cloud.

If you say that Germany and Spain are in Yurp...as opposed to saying "Your-up"

If you have a brother called James and another brother called Jim.


On Edit: Dammit spelling error.

[begin_within]

5. The bed of your pickup truck is lined with AstroTurf

[...of J.Temperance]

7. Hey...let's NOT go THERE :) n/t

[BOSSHOG]

6. Your dog and your wallet are attached to a chain

[Dhalgren]

8. If you think you are right because someone told you that

you were...

[Lochloosa]

9. You pee off your front porch

on the mutt laying in the dirt

[AllegroRondo]

10. If you've ever climbed a water tower with a can of paint

to defend your sister's honor.

[johnnie]

11. If...

You are laid up in a hospital in traction and a coma and your last words were "Hey, watch this!"


I know, I know.

[Patiod]

12. the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road..."

my city-born-and-raised SO quotes that one whenever we're visiting my friends who live over a certain distance from the city...

[ghostsofgiants]

13. You might be a redneck if...

You think Jeff Foxworthy is actually funny.

[khashka]

14. If your Mama's hair got caught in the ceiling fan

Khash.

[achtung_circus]

15. You finally cut the lawn

and find an engine block you didn't know you had.