A Rant about Doctors

[hyphenate]

I do this about once a year. I have come to the conclusion that there are many doctors who think they are perhaps so much smarter than the rest of us that they have a hubris bordering on a god complex. Considering I'm an atheist and don't believe in god, that means I also don't think my doctor is god, either.

So what is it about their focusing on one fucking thing, trying to make you swallow yet more one pill, without looking at WHO YOU ARE? Why do they think the almighty pill is the solution to everything, and when someone responds to their "your glucose levels are way too high" with "I don't fucking care!" they simply try to make another pill the solution?

Why is it that when I tried to tell them that the depression and the fatigue are more overwhelming than a stupid number on a meter or on a blood test, and that talk of impending doom in the order of shutting down internal organs and potential future amputations (which is all hyperbole, BTW, in this case) is not going to convince me to take another fucking pill?

Why is it that the WHOLE person is not considered--that their main argument is only making me more angry, more filled with rage and more adamantly against anything they are telling me to do? When they try to sell you a bill of goods, and you've "been there, done that" god knows how many times already, don't they listen to a fucking word you say?

When you tell them you are angry because you want to know test results, because you are fairly well informed and have medical knowledge to your benefit already, do they brush you off like a scab, and don't even acknowledge your intellect?

And then they argue that the depression and the fatigue stem from the diabetes, instead of listening when you tell them that BOTH were present LONG before that, and that the diabetes might be exacerbating them, but certainly aren't the cause of them! And when you tell them that you're a long term insomniac (part and parcel of the fibro, BTW!) that perhaps you snore and have sleep apnea, and not because you've always been a light sleeper, and never snored before!!

No, this is not about seeking medical advice--I know what I need to know, and I research everything, and I am extremely well informed. THAT'S THE PROBLEM! The doctors I saw today seem to think that I'm a dumb putz that will take their fucking medicines without asking questions, without knowing EXACTLY what bill of goods they're trying to sell and will be compliant in all ways, shapes and forms, and I WON'T. I ask questions. I've taken care of myself all my life without their help a lot of the time, and I'm tired of being told what I "need" to do. One doctor today kept saying "I'm not your mother, but...." I'm fucking 49 years of age--do I still need my mother to tell me what I can and can't do?

This one guy kept suggesting this one pill that I took in the past, and as a result of that particular pill, I put on weight. I wll NOT take it, and even after arguing with him about it three or four times, he started with the "I'm not you're mother, but...." again and re-suggested the pill for the fourth fucking time!! Never again. If this is the way these doctors are going to keep up, I will be breaking appointments and not doing blood tests anymore. At least until they know how serious I am about wanting to find alternatives and perhaps even alternate medicine resources.

Is this what we have to face when we DO have medical care in this country? So I'm privileged to have medical care--does it mean tackling this kind of prejudice on a regular basis?

I've dealt with doctors who have said they didn't even believe in fibromyalgia, and doctors who, despite all the evidence to the contrary today, still insist that depression is a "pooh, pooh" indulgence disease. I've dealt with male doctors who can't believe that women have heart attacks before their 45th birthday, and who treated one of my heart attacks as a "panic attack." And they wonder why I have no confidence in the medical profession?

We have to start facing the fact that even amidst the problems of people living without medical coverage, that our medical profession is all fucked up anyhow, and that we need to make providers realize that not everyone out there is stupid enough to swallow every pill they prescribe, or stupid enough to be without questions about their own care. When I had no coverage, I learned to cope by questioning everything, by researching what I could online, and finding alternatives for their very scary world of medications for everything.

Our medical fields need to open their horizons, and start to embrace Eastern medicine, alternative medicine, holistic and other natural solutions. We need to begin to see that treating mild depression with St. John's Wort is a better way of managing for some people than prescribing Prozac on a daily basis. We need to make them see that mental therapy is as big a cure for some people than sending someone home with a prescription and a followup visit six months later. We need to show them that some people fair better on encouragement, massage therapy and compassion than six days in a hospital bed on observation. We need to show that sleeping pills can be effectively replace by melatonin substitutes in many people. We need to show that LISTENING without prejudging is more important than forming conclusions based soley on blood tests.

I'm sick of it, literally. I've gotten to the point where the pill for my stomach isn't doing me any more good than the Rolaids or Tums in my bag. Or the 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda dissolved in water. So what does the doc say today? Take TWO pills instead of one a day instead! No thnaks. I will buy another box of baking soda or some Alka Seltzer and keep it handy instead. Despite the ulcer, I would rather do that than swallow one more goddamned pill.

Okay, well, while I want to rant more, I'm getting sleepy. I'll play one more game of Scrabble, look for medical alternatives online and hope that someday those who "practice" medicine will someday know enough and empathize enough to stop "practicing" and give their patients a little more in line of a give and take instead of trying to play the overlord.

[hfojvt]

1. Look, I know you are upset,

just take a couple tylenol, lie down and try to sleep, and call me in the morning if you are not feeling better. In fact, at $100 per office visit, call me as much as you want. :evilgrin:

[hyphenate]

3. Yeah--

that's pretty much it, isn't it? A friend told me that the podiatrist charged his mother $75 to cut her toenails. Pretty stupid, isn't it?

[hfojvt]

11. not so stupid for the payee

It's good work, if you can get it.

[suzbaby]

7. A friend of mine

went to a doctor with a stomach ache.....the doctor listened to her symptoms and promptly told her she was probably pregnant. Crazy part was that she was a virgin, no sperm had ever come anywhere near her.
That doctor was REALLY paying attention. :eyes:

[hyphenate]

12. Yes'm

Them women made for babies. Nothing else is right. Some doctors are like that. But thankfully. they're getting rarer every day.

[Broken_Hero]

18. yeah....

my wife went to the ER 5 times, before they finally figured out she needed her gall bladder removed...i guess its 5th time the charm, for doctors to figure it out, and really, the 5th time, it was a nurse who pegged what was wrong... all the docs told my wife, previously, that all she needed was pepto or antacids....go figure.

[Beausoir]

2. Maybe you should go to Med School?

Sounds like you have a great interest in trying to heal people.

Have you considered applying for med school? Change happens from the inside.

[hyphenate]

4. I'm afraid I'm too old for that now

And with little to no energy to boot, I probably couldn't make it past the residency stage, anyhow!

[Floogeldy]

5. Deep down, you resent the fact that you are not a doctor.

You think you know more than them. And, you might.

But that is not the issue.

[hyphenate]

13. Could be

But my chances at med school are at least thirty years too late.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

6. My brother would agree with everything you said

He's a doctor who went into private practice after being kicked out of two group practices for not "processing" patients fast enough in one case and for not referring enough patients for surgery in the other.

If your doctors are money-driven, their aim is to get you in and out of their office quickly so that they can charge the insurance company for as many patients as possible every day. The first group practice that my brother was kicked out of already had $2.5 million profit to split among the four partners, but that wasn't enough, evidently. They believed that each patient should be seen for no longer than 15 minutes. Actually finding out something about the patient takes too long and messes up the schedule.

If you have some freedom to move outside a network, ask around about doctors who take time with patients. They do exist. My brother is one, and the gerontologist who sees my mother and stepfather is another.

[hyphenate]

14. Thanks

It's nice to know some doctors are still listening to their patients. Gives me some hope!

[RevCheesehead]

8. It's time to change doctors.

If your doc won't listen to your concerns, and is more concerned about rushing thru your appointment, it's time to find someone else.

When I moved to this very small city, I found a physician's assistant, who came highly recommended by many people. She didn't watch the clock, she took the time to answer any and all questions, she explained each medication, telling me the benefits and the drawbacks... and most importantly, she made it clear that anything done would be done by my choice.

I've also had greater success with women doctors. Maybe I'm more comfortable with women - but we communicate well with each other.

Also, my SIL is a doctor (D.O., not MD). She got fed up with dealing with hospital corporations (they're reimbursed by patient load, so the more patients you see, the more $ you make). So she and a friend have gone back into private practice.

Keep looking - the good docs are out there. And don't be satisfied until you find him/her.

[hyphenate]

15. What's funny

is that my primary care doctor IS a woman. And her first resident that was my former doctor was also a woman. But this guy is the new resident who took over when my older one ended her residency. And since it's a teaching hospital, you barely ever see your primary doctor, only the resident.

And, as it's turned out, the primary is now on leave, which is why the other doctor is my resident's preceptor right now. And when I've seen other residents, I've made my voice be known then as well. I honestly don't see why more women don't do into medicine, because women are far more compassionate than most men.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. There's one other thing you could try, my dear hyphenate.....

Does your doctor have a nurse practitioner?

If so, go see (probably) her.....They are everything a doctor is NOT...

They take the time to listen and get feedback.....They tend to respect what the patient knows....and so on.

That could save you!

:shrug: :hug:

[hyphenate]

22. Peggy

Yes, I believe there is a nurse practitioner. And that is an excellent suggestion!

[tigereye]

10. I don't know if you have the options of finding another doctor

but there are docs out there who do not do the things you are talking about. My doctor is wonderful. She is thoughtful, aware, and open-minded about most treatments, traditional and otherwise. She actually talks to me about what is going on and includes me in the discussion about what is best. And it often is not a pill.

I hope you can find someone like her, because they are out there. I wish more doctors were taught to listen to their patients and given enough time to do so. It's critical.


:)

[tammywammy]

17. I agree

Both of my doctors listen to me when I tell them

When I went to my GP for depression a few years ago, he really listened to what I was saying. And my other doc that I only see for my physical listens when I say something.

My best friend is in medical school right now (to be a DO) and I can tell you that they don't teach them to not listen. I think sometimes, after they've been doing it for so long, and are under so much pressure to do so many patients a day, that it gets to them. BUT there are better doctors out there.

[hyphenate]

23. You would think that a "teaching" hospital

would have some leeway. I haven't been with them long enough yet to navigate myself around, and I'm limited by Medicare and Masshealth, but I will give it a shot.

[REP]

16. Get Ready To Loathe Me

I agree with your doctor (but I'm a diabetic with sleep apnea).

When blood glucose is uncontrolled, whole body problems follow, including depression. And yes, keeping BG levels normal is no magic bullet - I keep mine at non-diabetic levels and I still have peripheral neuropathy and very early diabetic nephropathy - but it's better than the alternative.

[hyphenate]

24. No, I don't loathe you

and I actually agree with you. However, I've had the depression both during good control and not-good control. I've had the fatigue longer than the diabetes. I was diagnosed with fibro back in 1993, a date that predates diabetes by 6 years, and was already pretty much apparent even years before that. AOD didn't show up until 1999, and then it followed a dramatic upswing in my cholesterol, which precipitated the heart attacks. And my mom was diabetic, so I often checked my levels on her meter, so I know almost exactly the dates!

And as an overweight woman, one of the chief problems was always trying to lose weight. So it's always amusing to me to see doctors insist that you get on a medication which actually PUTS WEIGHT ON YOU. I've lost over 30 lbs since about Febrary, and regardless of how it came off, I don't intend to put it back on!

I research every prescription that goes into my body. Some have such undesirable side effects that I won't take them, and I don't care who knows it. One that I am currently living with is an anti-depressant that has altered my sense of smell to the point where I get nauseous from the smell of certain foods and other items, and others where they don't taste anywhere near what they're supposed to taste like. But I would rather live with that side effect than deal with a major depression without some medication assistance. And we've tried four different ADs with little to no effect.

I even indulged my former resident--she put me on Actos, and my weight went up 20 lbs!! Talk about a setback. And my levels remained high without letting up at all. So it's not like I'm not willing to make changes, because I have and will. But I KNOW what the effects are of the drug they want to try and I won't do it anymore.

[REP]

27. Agree About the Drugs

I just take Tolinase, one of the older drugs. I can't take any of the new (and dangerous) ones, due to my FSGS (non-diabetic kidney failure - it's good for some things!)

But about the sleep apnea... I'm a chick too, and was initially told I was "too young, too thin and too female" to have it. Guess what! I had the worst apnea they had ever seen at the clinic where I was finally dx'd. Getting even minor apnea treated makes a HUGE difference in *everything*. Yes, I am one of those people singing the gospel of getting sleep disorders dx'd and treated. I am of the belief that many (not all) women dx'd with FMS actually have undiagnosed sleep apnea simply because so many doctors are unwilling to believe that young (under 60) women of any weight can have this very common sleep disorder. Note: I'm not dismissing *your* dx; mine was a general comment about FMS and women.

[hyphenate]

29. One of my best friends passed away in 2003

from the effect on her of sleep apnea. She developed severe pulmonary hypertension, and was on oxygen 24/7. The diagnosis came too late for her, though, because the damage was already done. They had been treating her for asthma for about 7 years before it was readily apparent what was doing damage to her. She was fitted with a CPAP machine, and she was able to handle that with the oxygen, but because the doctors hadn't done their job right, she was already on a short course to an early death.

It became her mission in life to keep others from having the same diagnosis and end up like her. But we talked about it quite frequently, and I slept at her house often enough on my trips back here (I was living in L.A. at the time) for her to know whether I snored or not. If my head is stuffed up, I will snore, but I don't have apnea. I am a very light sleeper, I'm an insomniac, have cats crawling on me all night, I toss and turn, and I talk in my sleep. I've even held conversations with people in my sleep, both real people who have talked with me not realizing I was still asleep, and imaginary people in my dreams who I talk aloud to! With these things alone, it's apparent something is off, but it ain't snoring! :)

They have proven that fibro is an auto-immune disorder, and that one of the major symptoms is the inability of the sleeper to get down to the level of sleep that affects repair of microvascular tears in the muscles and tendons. With most people, these microscopic tears are repaired while you sleep--with fibro patients, the patient is unable to get that deeply relieving venue of sleep and the tears get worse instead of better. There are also lower levels of many vital minerals and neurotransmitters as well. Holistically, there are ways of dealing with these things, but try and find medical coverage that allows you to go to an acupuncturist or a holistic/wellness clinic instead of a regular doctor!

But I understand about the sleep apnea, though; I try to warn people all the time, like my mom who snores until the covers move! But most people won't listen, either.

[chookie]

19. There are cool, smart doctors out there

I am sorry you are so frustrated and unhappy. You clearly need a change, a break. Someone suitable is out there -- you just need to find them. A great way to find a good doctor is through referrals of other patients -- if you don't have friends who can guide you, get creative and ask at your yoga class, health food store, alternative bookstore (get the idea where I'm going with this?). No one is going to mind if you ask -- a lot of people have been in your predicament and can identify with your dilemma and will be delighted to help out.

Gender is no guarantee of empathy. All my docs have been men and they have all been incredibly sensitive, empathetic sweet heart, but straight-talking, pussycats.

I don't waste my time with uncool doctors when the world is full of warm, wise and wonderful ones. Like the song says, Mama says you gotta shop around...

[khashka]

20. Just keep repeating to yourself

"overpaid blood monkeys" - it kinda works as a mantra when you are dealing with this shit.

Having done that as a start, you need to find yourself a decent doctor. They exist. Few and far between, but they exist. I'd suggest a female doctor who deals with pain and related issues (you mentioned fibro). I find that female doctors are a little less likely to buy into the god complex than male doctors. And they listen better.

I've been through dozens of doctors and am very bitter. But I found one who actually listens to me and does her very best to help me. So keep looking, hyphenate, and in the meantime take care of yourself and stay healthy.

Khash.

[hyphenate]

25. Thanks, sweetie!

:)

[leftstreet]

21. N.U.R.S.E. P.R.A.C.T.I.T.I.O.N.E.R.S.

Start with any Doc In A Box and get copies of the bullshit "lab test numbers." Then find a Nurse Practitioner who will not only evaluate the numbers, but LISTEN to you. It's a good start.

[hyphenate]

26. As I said to Peggy

yes, I am going to look into that as soon as I can. I have a followup with the resident in a month, and at that point, I will tell him one way or another what I want to do.

[khashka]

30. I agree

Nurses spend a lot more more time with patients than doctors do. And so are more understanding. And, therefore, more informed about the situation. You can judge a doc by his/her nurses. And doctors do occassionally listen to nurses, at least more than they listen to patients.


Nurse practitioners don't always work with docs, but they have a great deal of medical knowledge and are usually familiar with all the doctors in the area and can steer you toward the right doctor.

It's worth a try.

Khash.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

32. My brother has spoken at medical conventions about his

methods (really a synthesis of existing methods, some old, and some new) for treating chronic pain, and most of the doctors say, essentially, "That's outside the box. Go away."

He has received a much better reception talking to nurses, whose attitude is, "That makes sense. Those methods just might work."

[ScreamingMeemie]

28. 7 years...

That's how long it took me to find a doctor I had confidence in. And this was after (stupidly) offering my organs up for slicing and dicing to doctors with no respect for humanity.

There are doctors out there willing to work with you...and not against. My heart goes out to you hyphenate. I spent 6 months on antidepressants, treating what was later found to be an auto immune disorder and heart condition. I was throwing up everyday, but I was in good spirits about it. ;) :hug: :hi:

[hyphenate]

31. Ugh

A couple of days of nausea and I'm ready for that bullet to the temple. If there's one thing I can not ever tolerate, it's stomach problems. You have my utmost sympathy!

I did have a couple of great doctors when I was in California at one time. But then when Cobra ran out and I was "on the street" again, the rest turned into pussy assholes. It's absolutely criminal what I had to put up with at that point.

[Pithlet]

33. Locking

I know this wasn't initially intended as a medical advice thread, but it has turned into one. DUers aren't qualified to dispense medical advice.