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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-28-05 11:45 AM
Original message
Child Safety Group Releases List of “10 Most Dangerous Toys”
If you've purchased any of these, return them at once.
1. G.I. Joe Interrogation Kit (Waterboard prone to splinter)
2. Barbie's Tanning Parlor (Radiation shield sold separately)
3. My First Facelift (Botox must be kept refrigerated)
4. Russian Roulette, Jr (Gun chamber jams)
5. 101 Fun Drinking Games (Shot glasses not shatterproof)
6. Jihad Barbie (detonation danger)
7. Harry Potter's Goblet of Fire (flammable)
8. Power Wheels Cadillac (slips out of park)
9. Cookin' Fun Kitchen (gas leak possible)
10. Hasbro Chat Now Cell Phone (porn)


http://www.ironictimes.com/0272-p2.html

Latest Report: Global Warming
A Lot Worse Than Feared
Replaces previous report that global warming was a lot worse than feared.


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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-28-05 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
1. Happy Fun Ball.....


It's Happy!
It's Fun!
It's Happy Fun Ball!

(announcer)
Yes, it's Happy Fun Ball,
the toy sensation
that's sweeping the nation.
Only 14.95 at participating stores!

Get one Today

(background voice)
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.

Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

* Itching

* Vertigo

* Dizziness

* Tingling in extremities

* Loss of balance or coordination

* Slurred speech

* Temporary blindness

* Profuse Sweating

or

* Heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!
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