I made a huge mistake

[flvegan]

I went into GD and posted something positive...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5451845

Oh, well. Guess I'm back where I belong.

[bridgit]

1. seems like it went well to me...

B-)

[LeftyMom]

2. Just what were you thinking?

How was FFF, if you don't mind my asking?

[flvegan]

6. It rocked!

Well, short of the couple folks that wanted a fistfight with the one guy the furthest away (I also do a form of "security" at these events). When I appeared, getting my buddy's back, the aggressors suddenly had second thoughts. Go figure.

The usual photographers were out. Got a database to build, don't you know.

[LeftyMom]

9. New pics and I can't see them

[flvegan]

16. Heh...the pics

weren't taken for us. Rather, for the FBI, etc, as usual.

Not one from our side.

[LeftyMom]

18. I know

I'm just whining becuse you haven't had a new photo in ages. Meanwhile some middle management ladies at DHS probably have you pinned up in thier cube. ;)

[MrScorpio]

3. Well, let's see. I did this

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5452079&mesg_id=5452079


Let's see how they react

[flvegan]

7. *snort*

Ahhh...the positive vibes...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. That was an EXCELLENT post, IMHO......

You did get mostly positive responses....and the one negative poster is someone whose name I recognize as being here in the Lounge a fair amount anyhow...

You did GOOD! Both in your thread, and in your intentions towards Christmas!

I know that if you were my son, I'd be DAMNED proud of you!

You go, flvegan........:yourock: :woohoo: :woohoo: :yourock:

[flvegan]

8. Thank you. I will take that as the highest

compliment I could get. That you'd be damned proud of me, I know my intention was proper.

Thank you, my dear CaliforniaPeggy.
:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. ............

:loveya: :hug:

[Catchawave]

5. That's a great thread sweetie....and it has NOMs....!

:hi:

[Catchawave]

19. And on the Greatest Page....

...don't let those morans bother you. Another :hug:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

10. No Way, It was a Great Post! Never sweat the one or two bitternuts that

try and ruin everything, whether in GD, the Lounge, or in life.

There are those that will find something negative in everything to nitpick about. I find it better to smile it off while feeling warm inside that you are stable enough to not have to be so bitter :)

[merh]

14. Disagreeing with the concept does not make the one that

disagrees negative or a bitternut.

I believe that poster said she was speaking from experience and wanted to save the OP the guilt issues she has lived with.

I also don't know why her dissent is seen as being negative. It just means that the poster thinks differently or sees things differently than the OP sees them.

All in all, the OP's GD thread has been applauded. Leave it at that, congratulate the OP and don't malign those with a different opinion.

[flvegan]

15. It's not a disagreement

it's an attack on character.

A different opinon would be "I think that..." or "In my opinion..." as opposed to the implications that I don't love nor respect my mother.

[Gormy Cuss]

20. That poster doesn't mince words. She does abbreviate them ; -).

I'm someone else who has seen this sort of good idea blow up badly. I think it's nice that several posters wanted to be sure you had considered that possibility.

You seem confident that this action will be taken positively by your mother and brother so there's no risk there. Have you told them you intend to do something like this? The reason I ask is if they know now they may choose to do something similar in return and you will have leveraged those donations to good causes.
:bounce: :bounce:

[merh]

22. I don't see it that way.

"did this once, and i've felt guilty abt it for the last 25 years -- it is sooooo not worth it,"

Maybe the poster was not be as tactful as she could have been and maybe she is not as capable of framing the argument as gracefully as she wanted. She was offering advice from a personal perspective, been there done that, think about what could happen, think about the hurt that you might bring to others.

The attacks came from you when you ridiculed her use of abbreviations as if that means her sincerity was lacking. I don't think less of you for disagreeing with me and I am sorry you took her posts as a personal attack on you. I don't see her first post in those terms at all.

:hi:

[Name removed]

23. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

17. Hi Mehr. Thanks for that

I'm usually pretty thorough in reading the posts in question, and when I first read it reallllllllly thought it was coming off as just bitter and nitpicky. But you made me re-read it and it really isn't as bad as I perceived it the first time, and hadn't read it in the context of the poster giving advice.

I still think the post was harsher and more attacking than it had to be for such a beautifully intentioned original post, but I agree that didn't make them automatically a bitternut.

Course, you and I both know that there are a lot a bitternuts running around anyway lol

Merh, forgive me? :hug:

[merh]

24. There is no need to forgive you.

It was good of you to encourage flvegan. I was just pointing out something that I often miss and that is that folks that disagree with me are not always bitternuts or negative, they just think differently from me. I agree with you in that there are a lot of bitternuts running around.

:hug:

[Left Is Write]

21. She chastised him for not buying something for his mother

"that's about her." It was a regular scolding, not a suggestion from an alternative opinion.

She also said it's "obvious" why flvegan isn't married. Who is maligning whom?

[merh]

26. Those were in the subsequent posts when he began to

attack her. She then became defensive.

I don't deny that the poster might have done a better job of explaining her point. She did, however, share a part of herself to try to help flvegan appreciate that his nobel acts may unintentionally cause his loved one's pain.

My pointing this out is not an attack on flvegan or you, it is just an observation.

[flvegan]

28. You, are wrong.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4351923&mesg_id=4352067

[merh]

31. I'm sorry you were offended by her posts.

What more can I say. I was trying to provide a different perspective or maybe trying to explain that I think the poster meant well, she just was not as tactful as she should have been.

[flvegan]

33. Don't be sorry, no reason for it.

Tact has nothing to do with it. The poster attacked me, and alluded to what members of my family would most certainly think/believe/feel.

I can think of NO MORE of a personal post.

The poster, I trust, didn't mean well. If I'm wrong, I look to be corrected by same...

[Left Is Write]

29. No, I was referring to the first post.

And, yes, I realize you aren't attacking anyone. :)

[Left Is Write]

12. See....

you made me sniff, you big lug.

:loveya:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

13. Just gave it the 5th nom :)

[pitohui]

25. oh come on dude lighten up

you know what i'm gonna say, in gd or lounge or in the bar or in the kitchen

buy your mom her OWN gift, her OWN gift

you can still do the other stuff, you should do the other stuff, but you still gotta buy your mom her OWN gift

can't we disagree w.out head-banging against nearest wall?

[flvegan]

27. Okay, why?

why do I NEED to buy a gift? You OBVIOUSLY haven't read my responses.

BTW, you started the head-banging, and I don't give a shit where you say it.

[pitohui]

32. you really don't know why you need to buy yr mom a gift ?

dude

your mom is a woman, at one time she was a beautiful young woman and had a strong, athletic, young body

then she carried YOU for 9 months in the womb and lost her figure and had lower back pain and maybe even pressure on her bladder, how explicit do you want me to get with this? the point is, yr mom went to some serious inconvenience so you could even be here

your mom deserves a gift that is all about HER

trust me on this

you won't be sorry

no matter how saintly yr mother is, she will secretly enjoy being spoiled, even jesus enjoyed having some of the money spent on pampering him and when the oh-so-serious apostle criticized, he made the famous remark the poor will always be with us

hell, go check all the public telephones for coins, turn in tin cans for a few dollars, i don't care but there IS a way you can do heifer.org AND your mom both

and i promise you, i swear to you, in the end you will be glad you made the effort

yes, be kind, yes, give to those in need, there is terrible need at the moment, but also give just to say i love you and to see a smile

okay, i'm done, i'll say no more

just think abt it, you won't be sorry

[flvegan]

39. Okay, let's have at it

Now, as it stands, my mother is stronger and more athletic than she ever has been. She credits her drive, desire and her personal trainer son for this. At 70+, she makes the men at the Y question their abilities. She attributes this to me.

You want a gift? Here you go...do something that you don't expect a thank you or a payback for. You're not making a quota or living up to expectations. It repays itself tenfold.

But then, maybe my mother is as enlightened as I hope to be. And maybe you didn't think of that.

BTW..."the poor will always be with us" because we don't do enough for those that truly need it.

Maybe you expect your government to pick up the slack...

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. It was a very good post and a wonderful idea, although my mother

would write me off if she didn't get a thing. We do donate and purchase gifts for needy kids/adults/seniors every year in addition to remembering those we love. :hi:

[pitohui]

34. did you see that movie, running on empty

a shell? you gave yr mother a shell for yr birthday? my mother would plotz if i gave her a shell

:-)

we can do this, we can do both

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. Yes...we have a running joke in my family. How many days in mom's

good graces we get with each gift. ;)

[LeftyMom]

35. I think most of us have somebody in the family that wouldn't get it

Mine would be my sister, she'd shit a brick if I didn't get her something, even though she's got nearly everything she wants and certainly anything I could afford to get her.

[ScreamingMeemie]

37. Yep...that's my mom as well.

:hi:

[Sacajawea]

38. Hey, flvegan...Go take a look at my reply to your GD post...

I'm with you 1000%!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[flvegan]

40. Sigh. Thank you.

I'm thankful that others "get it" not that I'm saying that everyone else doesn't.

You've got a good heart...

[Sacajawea]

41. Don't mention it, pal. I've got your back.

[eyepaddle]

42. Wow, I'm sorry about that flvegan

I blew about eleven gaskets reading that thread.

I started writing two posts, but I didn't think I could keep my belligerence in check. I then decided that wasn't good for anybody and just cancelled the posts. Wouldn't it be nice if more people did that in GD?

I think what you did was commendable--and for your family's reaction, well, I trust you a lot more on that issue than somebody who's never met any of you.

I'll likely not post again on this topic, but in general I've got your back as well. :)

[flvegan]

43. Eyepaddle,

thank you, sir.

When gasket number 12 goes, what happens?

I wonder, as I think I'm getting there...

[eyepaddle]

44. I'll probably have no choice but to just

shut the computer off entirely.

I'd want to stay away from it--but I know myself and curiousity would drive me back. I'm not really a rageaholic (as Homer Simpson might say I'M NOT ADDICTED TO RAGEAHOL!) ;) but I would keep going back. That's why I've never used the ignore user feature--curiosity just get's the better of me.

You know I'm more about the silly end of the Lounge, and if I can't stay there, I'll just have to bail.

I'm a little under the weather and won't be going out tonight, so if the lounge doesn't keep me happy I'll start reading my book again. :)

See you in the happier part of the lounge!

[flvegan]

45. Well, then, Cheers!

Agreed. Never used the "ignore" myself, either. And I do try to stay Loungeside, as silliness in my middle name.

Sorry that you're under the weather. Hope that your health changes for the better.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

46. I'm on your side, flvegan.

Apparently, some people can't grasp that Christmas is about charity as well. Good on you for helping out the less fortunate. :toast:

[driver8]

47. I saw your post in GD -- a lot of "holier than thou" people hanging

out there tonight.

Your idea is an excellent one!!

Fuck 'em.

[southlandshari]

48. Locking

Cain't we all jes' git along?

:cry:

Look - there is hope for us yet....