Ah shit, my fucking turkey exploded!

[JVS]

Burning grease has destroyed my backyard. Luckily, only my neighbor got burned, and not too badly either. Maybe if I get some fries at the mcdonalds I can use the gravy that was being made for the turkey to make some poutine.

[fortyfeetunder]

1. was it completely thawed out?

I take it you were frying the turkey. Sorry to hear of your misfortune!

And yes, some Mickey D's are open today....

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Hint for next time: put the turkey in the grease, not the other way around

I think there are a brazillion turkey fryer threads this week.
Turkey gravy poutine -- now there's a new tradition for your Octoberfest.
:+

[Arugula Latte]

3. Are you "SERIES"?

That sucks! You shoulda read this thread before:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5443586

[JVS]

12. THIS IS HUGH!!!111!!!!1!!11!!!

Actually I read that thread and it inspired me to write this thread. My turkey was oven cooked and was fine.

[regnaD kciN]

4. Turkey is for EATING, not...

:evilgrin:

P.S.: Unless you're another turkey, that is!

[JVS]

14. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!

bestialophobe!

[CanuckAmok]

5. Okay, no more glycerine, baking soda and nitric acid stuffing for you!

try bread crumbs and onions next year.

[JVS]

25. The recipe from the nice people at the FLQ said to use those ingredients

[WritingIsMyReligion]

6. For real? I know it isn't a laughing matter, but:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sorry. Your story caught me by surprise. Let's just say I have a nervous laughter tendency. :D :D

[JVS]

11. NOT FOR REAL! I just wanted to see if the lounge is as hard on people...

who have cooking accidents as GD is. My turkey was cooked in an oven and it was great.

[trof]

7. Did you take the plastic wrapping off first?

I think that's your problem.
;-)

[antigone382]

8. Yet more evidence that deep-fried turkey is destroying America.

Just kidding...really sorry about that, JVS! It sucks!

[the_spectator]

9. Let that be a lesson - you can't fuck turkeys that hard!

If you decide to get a replacement fucking turkey, be a bit more gentle with it! It will last so much longer!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. ROFLMAO!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Deja Q]

21. DAMN! You got to say it before me!

:cry:

Still, nice to know I'm not the only delightfully perverted person on DU... :7

[Redstone]

13. Hey, if you end up with Poutine, it's a good day.

And well worth burning a neighbor or two to accomplish.

Redstone

[JVS]

15. Oui!

[Redstone]

16. OK, you live in the States, and you know Poutine, so I have to ask:

Where the HELL do you get the curd-type Cheddar cheese? I can't find the damned stuff anywhere!

My wife's cousin loaded us up with two dozen each of Poutine-gravy packets (dried) and also cans last time we visited her in Quebec, but we can't find the cheese.

The weather's getting cold, and I'm ready for a nice bowl of molten gravy&cheese over soggy fries, but I can't have one...

Redstone

[JVS]

18. Either make do with string cheese sticks or you can order cheese curds...

from places in Wisconsin. I've seen places online that will send them to you. Next time I'm north of the IL border, I'm getting as much as I can fit in my fridge.

[Redstone]

19. I'll do a google search, though I've heard that the curds don't

travel / age well. Will have to find one that ships overnight.

Thanks for the info, JVS. Vive l'Poutine!

Redstone

[redwitch]

20. Helluva Good makes cheese curds. I buy them here in upsate NY

I have no idea what poutine is though.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. You didn't dump in enough of the brine with the turkey into the oil

that always seems to be the biggest problem people have.

[ET Awful]

22. So is a fuckin' turkey any different than an eatin' turkey?

Just curious, I wouldn't want to end up with the wrong kind and offend somebody :)

[name not needed]

24. Eating turkey, gravy goes on the outside

With a fucking turkey, the gravy goes on the inside. :7

[name not needed]

23. Next time, just buy a fleshlight

It won't explode on you.

[NNadir]

26. Has the Department of Homeland Security been notified?

It sounds like you need a fashion god to remediate. Michael Brown, I think, is free at the moment.