Have I ever posted my favorite fundie site on here? (insanity warning)

[Initech]

Really this one is quite possibly the funniest and most jaw-dropping fundie site on the internets.

http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

[Taverner]

1. OMG is this shit for real?

http://objectiveministries.org/creation/pterosaurs.html



This looks an awful lot like http://www.fvza.org

[Initech]

4. Check out the page on "mall missions"

Their "primary objective" is to convert people who've been driven by what evil they refer to as "secular consumerism" by going into malls and - get this - performing emergency baptism sessions.

Sadly, I am not making this shit up! It's too damn funny!

[GirlinContempt]

14. Obviously not

[Call Me Wesley]

2. LOL!

Didn't know this one. Just the
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Great parodies!

[u4ic]

3. If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,

TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! :spray:
(interesting that athiest is capitalized...)


Call the cops! The National Guard! The US Army! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Initech]

5. Hey kid, wanna read some Ayn Rand?

:spray:

[bridgit]

6. it's only fair, why confound the children with what is really going on...

[Guy Fawkes]

7. About that...

some articles:
http://www.lindqvist.com/index.php?ID=380
their Cafepress store (God Bless France product line: http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/561669)

whois information:
Domain ID:D107308632-LROR
Domain Name:OBJECTIVEMINISTRIES.ORG
Created On:29-Aug-2005 04:39:02 UTC
Last Updated On:29-Oct-2005 04:19:53 UTC
Expiration Date:29-Aug-2006 04:39:02 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:New Dream Network, LLC (R173-LROR)
Status:OK
Registrant ID:ndn-117499
Registrant Name:K. F.
Registrant Organization:NA
Registrant Street1:Please contact via email - DO NOT CALL
Registrant Street2:Address removed due to stalkers
Registrant City:Gig Harbor
Registrant State/Province:WA
Registrant Postal Code:98335
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:[phone]
Registrant Email:[e-mail]
Admin ID:ndn-117499
Admin Name:K. F.
Admin Organization:NA
Admin Street1:Please contact via email - DO NOT CALL
Admin Street2:Address removed due to stalkers
Admin City:Gig Harbor
Admin State/Province:WA
Admin Postal Code:98335
Admin Country:US
Admin Phone:[phone]
Admin Email:[e-mail]
Tech ID:ndn-117499
Tech Name:K. F.
Tech Organization:NA
Tech Street1:Please contact via email - DO NOT CALL
Tech Street2:Address removed due to stalkers
Tech City:Gig Harbor
Tech State/Province:WA
Tech Postal Code:98335
Tech Country:US
Tech Phone:[phone]
Tech Email:[e-mail]
Name Server:NS1.DREAMHOST.COM
Name Server:NS2.DREAMHOST.COM
Name Server:NS3.DREAMHOST.COM

[Aristus]

11. My GOD! Gig Harbor, WA? That's not too far from me!

It's time for me to be afraid...very afraid! :scared:

[Beware the Beast Man]

26. Shucks.

I knew it was too good to be true. :(

[mongo]

8. LOL! Thanks I needed that

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!


:rofl:

[Initech]

10. I love the "Creation Science Fun Facts" section

[sistersofmercy]

31. That was funny, especially # 8 n/t

[Initech]

35. I like how they describe T-Rex as an herbivore

[Redstone]

9. Well, it only took 30 seconds for the nausea to develop.

Damn. That one is pretty bad. "Jaw-dropping" in an understatement.

Redstone

[musette_sf]

12. interesting coincidence... I saw the book below at Half-Price today:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0809134632.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

which happens to carry the message that there is no vengeful G-D. I presume in a loving G-D's universe, "Mr. Gruff" is loved, too.

Note to Pastor Numbnuts of Objectionable Ministries: G-D loves Betty Bowers, too. S/he even has a sense of humor, since s/he loves you too, even if you are a major assclown.

[GirlinContempt]

13. Clearly satire

[PittPoliSci]

19. that's why it's so funny.

it's great satire :-)

[GirlinContempt]

22. Agreed

[NMMNG]

15. Bwahahahaha

"Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they got it all figured out....but then why are they always so sad? Very advanced techniques are needed for handling these grouches. Let the adults handle them. "

Where do they get this stuff from? :rofl:

And "Halloween Reclamation"??? :wtf: Since when was Halloween ever a Christian holiday? They can't "reclaim" something that was never theirs to begin with. :dunce:

Objective Ministries my arse--there's nothing objective about these folks. :eyes:

[GirlinContempt]

16. Satire

[NMMNG]

17. Are you sure?

They promote the shutdown of Landover Baptist, which is satire. This leads me to believe they are real whackjobs.

[GirlinContempt]

21. Yes. I am sure.

The jesus light switch? The picture of Mr T? The thongs? THe obviously doctored photos? The INTERVIEWS?

[PittPoliSci]

18. i remember seeing that site before.

thanks a lot! i had forgotten about it! really funny stuff :-)

"flood-cloud-related rickets!"

great satire :-)

[lakemonster11]

20. Hypocrites?!

On their main page, they write:

"Rat Out A Church: Big Brother Church Watch - Liberal "churches" are using their tax-exempt status to promote Liberal politicians. Learn how to report their abuses to the IRS."

A few lines down from that, they display this:


Roy Moore for Alabama Governor -- Taking America Back For The Lord One State At A Time!

It's pretty sleazy to put quotes around "churches" like that, IMO.

[LaraMN]

23. "Jesus wants us to be hot for Him." Yeah, well-- get in line, Jesus.

:eyes:

[Beware the Beast Man]

24. "Hey, Habu..."

Fuckin' hell- racist much? :rofl:

edited because I realize now that it's satire.

[GirlinContempt]

25. KANGA-JEW

it's hilarious

[Beware the Beast Man]

27. Upon further review, I realized this is parody.

Silly me, I was really hoping this was a genuine website- too freaking funny.

[GirlinContempt]

29. I'm glad

:)
Did you see the jesus light switch?!
Or the rapper interview? http://objectiveministries.org/zounds/interview-jiggy4jesus.html

[Beware the Beast Man]

30. Jiggy4Jesus!!!

:rofl:

[GirlinContempt]

32. Fred: So you're saying He's like some sort of Snoop God?

S-K: Thanks. People have got to know that God came down to Earth, that He isn't just some far off thing or Mary's baby daddy. It's like I rhymed: Yo, up on da cross dis is / Da Big G's hypostasis. Jesus was the O.G. -- Original Gentile. He walked among us and spoke His Wisdom from the streets. He bust up the ballas in the temple and was hassled by the Man. When they assassinated Him, He rose from the dead and took all our Sins away with Him. Jesus was like Tupac, only for real.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[zanne]

45. I'm still wondering about that.

I'm not sure.

[ghostsofgiants]

28. Hahaha, hilarious....

Even the html is fundified:
<meta name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all" />

[ComerPerro]

33. Do not click on this link

http://christiananswers.net/gospel/noentry.html

This link here:

http://christiananswers.net/gospel/noentry.html

Don't click on it.

Its not for good Christians. No one should ever click that link or go to that site.

The site at this URL: http://christiananswers.net/gospel/noentry.html

Ever.

[TK421]

44. I've got great news! My name is NOT in the book of life

:evilgrin:

[ComerPerro]

34. I LOVE Professor Giraffenstein

[El Fuego]

36. Ha ha, read the bios

Dr. Troy Franklin has built a career around researching the occult and its attempts to destroy Christianity. Considered one of the foremost in the new school of Baptist demon exorcism specialists, Dr. Franklin has battled Satan up close and personal on many occasions, yet he always manages to come through unscathed thanks to the power of Christ.


http://objectiveministries.org/members/#TROY

[Initech]

37. Huh? Wouldnt that bio imply that...

Satan doesnt really exist?

[Devra]

38. my god that's bizarre

whats with the giraffe his answers were almost satirical, the logic they use is truely frightening

[GirlinContempt]

39. Yeah, almost

:eyes:

[TK421]

40. This is too creepy...since when can lambs and lionesses get it on?

:shrug:

[eyepaddle]

41. Whoa, that's a GOOOOOD one

I see the "is this shit for real?" has already been addressed.

[TK421]

42. LOL....I guess Habu is screwed!!!!

:rofl:

[TK421]

43. OMFG- Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew?

:wow:

[Initech]

46. That one has to take the cake...

Shalom!